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This article is a practical joke, please see Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Cambridge corridor cricket, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Corridor cricket. —Quarl ^(talk) 2006-07-04 02:03Z

Introduction - To a Cambridge Tradition

What can only be described as a technically complex, physically demanding and mentally taxing experience. The relatively unknown distraction of Corridor Cricket is gaining momentum in corridors up and down England. The roots of the modern game of as we know it can be traced to the quaint town of Cambridge, England as far back as 1943 by a pioneering group of young men from a variety of backgrounds and homelands. Namely, Leeds, Nottingham, York, Ipswich, London and Solihull. It is a well known Cambridge tradition that any corridor long enough be used to practice cricket in the winter months. This has developed into a much more refined game over the years. While it is undoubtably clear that other similar games exist. This is the only chronicled set of rules followed in Cambridge. The basic premise is that a twist on normal 'outdoor' cricket is achieved by simply playing an adapted version of the classic game within a confined, highly populated and quite hot corridor.

History

The origins of modern corridor cricket are based on a variant of 'alley cricket' which grew out of an alley in Ealing, West London. The rules of the modern game are almost unchanged from those of alley cricket, however the pace of the game and the psycological element have evolved rapidly and are now a far cry from the original. Although most of the modern jargon and sledging involved in the modern game cannot be traced back to the original, one remnant of 'alley cricket' jargon still remains in the game. The phrase 'Tommy Turner' used to describe a bowl with excessive swing/spin is a tribute to Thomas Turner, a family friend of the original players of alley cricket. A ball which took a wicket with excessive spin was often then lifted from a 'tommy turner' to a 'Roger Turner' - Thomas' father, though this jargon appears to have been lost in the modern game.

In recent years a regional divide has occured much like that of rugby league and union. The North of England are diverging away from the standard rules of corridor cricket and adopting a new practice, 'spin corridor cricket'. This variation is much like the old timer's game of corridor cricket but the wicket length is halved and no speed can be injected into the game therefore giving the bowler only the option of bowling spin and the batter only defensive shots. This is considered a more technical game with complex rules such as a -5 penalty for caught out spicing the game up and making it the ultimate corridor cricket form!

Rules - To Practice Cricket Indoors In The Winter Months

The rules are necessarily quite different from traditional cricket as we shall see below:

Basics

The traditional time to start play is 5pm GMT. Shoes must never be worn, players are encouraged to wear a 'PE Kit' where possible due to the extreme sweat inducing temperatures in the corridor- approx 45-55 degrees C or just less than a domestic oven. Pads are unneccesary and players wearing them are historically frowned upon for being 'soft'. Although they do make physical 'sledging' less painful.

Equipment

The ball is a standard tennis ball half of which is covered with tape in order that swing be achieved to decieve and anger the batsman. The bat is a standard cricket bat,(or other vaguely bat shaped object) preferably not too large due to the increased risk of striking the ceiling/wall/lights. The wicket is any large, solid object such as a table, box or bins (particularly satisfying for the bowler due to ease of denting and sound).

Dismissals

One can be out in a number of ways. Caught (rare), edged behind (common), hitting the ceiling (rare), stumped (controversial) or clean bowled (common). Appeals are common and frantic, especially where the batsman is clearly not out where a loud, aggressive appeal can unnerve the batsman or simply annoy him incredibly, thus causing him to lose concentration.

• • However the holy grail is for the ball to be caught in the small window next to the batsman's off stump. For it not only needs the ball to spin Sufficiently to graze the batsman's edge but also needs to intice the batman into playing a stroke, one of the most aesthetic sights in modern corridor cricket. This has only occured twice since records began and results in a 5 run penalty.**

Bowling

The bowler has to adapt their stance due to the low ceiling and often dangling wires left by lazy/drunk/shoddy workmen. This has led to strange bowling practices such as the legendary 'kneeling queen' stance adopted by W.T Anderson one of the founding fathers of the modern game, or the barefaced 'throw' of Leroy Rowley 'The Yorkshire Rapper'. Spin is a common element of the bowling, 'Tommy Turner' being a common call ringing down the corridor from the bowler or any other spectator, as is pace with many an injury sustained to anyone who is brave/stupid enough to not move out of the way of a 'mustardised' delivery. Overs are standard six ball affairs except for Maginnis whose mathematical abilities allowed him to bowl anything from 11 to 14 balls an over.

At The Crease

Runs are scored by hitting the ball either past the fielder in the doorway for a single, or past the bowler for either a four or a six. Runs may also be gained if the bowler bowls three 'wall balls' in an over. This awards one run to the batsman, the use of sledging is crucial in this type of situation to exert pressure on the bowler to hit the wall or ceiling. A ten is a possibility if you reach the holy grail of the end of the corridor without a bounce, this is rare and also rather dangerous for the coridoor's innocent non-cricketers who are numerous, often angry and always tedious. Tens are a rare, special moment especially in competititive situations. A test match ten has never been recorded and some experts believe it never will. However a recent one day, two innings match saw W.T Anderson hit two tens to win the game for his team who, up until that point had been performing horrendously.

Founding Fathers from 1943

James Blundell: Speciality- Spin/Turn. Most likely to shout: 'Tommy Turner'. Least likely to shout: 'I dislike rough oatcakes/cycling/Dylan'

Gareth Payne: Speciality- Fast Bowling aka 'Mustard'. Most likely to shout: 'Sorry I just bowled it at your head/eye/body/face'. Least likely to shout: 'I just banged my head on the ceiling'

Sam Thorpe: Speciality: Hitting the ceiling. Most likely to shout: 'I'm bleeding/injured/out' Least likely to shout: 'The Pet Shop Boys are rubbish'

William T Anderson: Speciality: All rounder/Batting. Most likely to shout: 'My knee is bleeding/I'm not called Peter Crouch' Least likely to shout: 'You're taller than me'

Brendan Maginnis: Speciality: In-swinging bowls. Most likely to shout: 'Dealio' Least likely to shout: 'Hurry up' Notes: Huge overs bowled (circa 14 balls)

Leroy Rowley: Speciality: Throwing. Most likely to shout: 'That wasn't a throw' Least likely to shout: 'Let's stop playing practical jokes now lads, they're not funny'

Tom 'Curls' Whyntie: Speciality: Getting out. Most likely to shout: 'I'm out' Least likely to shout: 'I'm going to hit a ten/those shoes are too big for me' Notes: Low self confidence.

Technical Jargon

'The clicker' = an unpredictable but devastatingly effective ball mainly used in spin corridor cricket

'Tina Turner' = Ball with a huge amount of spin, originating from Manchester cricket slang.

'reverse tina turner' = as above but opposite spin.

'Tommy Turner' = Ball with a lot of spin

'Bumming it' = Excessive use of posterior to block ball. As championed by the late, great, Brendan Manginis

'Taping up' = Taping half of a tennis ball for swing

'Wall Ball' = Ball striking wall on bowling. 3 in an over is a run to the batsman.

'Mustardiser' = Recklessly/excessively fast ball

'Ceiling Strike' = Bat hitting ceiling, often causing vast damage.

'Hall anyone?' = Usually signifies the ned of an nets session/test.

'Sledging' = Very effective if used correctly. Consists of insults/criticism usually, but not solely, at the opposition with the aim being distraction. Particularly effective on 'The face' Maginnis.

'Good Cricket All Round' = General appreciation of a fine bowl, shot and fielding sequence. Usually good sportsmanship however is often used sarcastically/maliciously/hilariously to mock weaker players.

'Will he walk?' = Encouragement/bullying of the batsman into departing from the crease after an appeal. Often used to effectively exploit the good nature of players such as Martin Brundle.

'Bowling Shane' = Recognition of a particularly fine bowl. Often shouted in an Aussie accent, particularly amusing when combined with the Solihull drawl of Maginnis.

'Facialised' = Refers to a ball striking the face of the batsman, dangerous yet is often accompanied by a chorus of laughter from the other team.

'Line and Length' = Good pitch and bowling line, usually simply used as encouragement can be applied with sarcasm to great effect regarding wall balls.

'Chinese edge' = Ball grazing inside edge of bat and narrowly passing leg stump. Quite racist but common.

'Economical over' = Again, usually used sarcastically/mockingly at the bowler if the batsman is scoring highly from a particular bowler but can be positive observation.

'Full Face' = Batsman trying to claim that he hit the ball squarely and not an edge. Quite often a last claim of the desparate or just lies.

'The Gate' = Gap between bat and body, small but can be found and bowled through in order to clean bowl the batsman. Remarkably common and often impressive.

'Flipper' = Term used by Jamie Brundle, in an Aussie accent and normally when some sort of spin is imparted onto the bowl. Not so common today.

'Seeing it like a football/spacehopper' = Batsman playing confidently and effectively. Common Anderson claim.

'The Wall' = Blundell's nickname for himself as an impenentrable batting defence. Bizzarely refers to himself in the third person. Ridiculous.

'LBW' = A very effective sledging technique. Used more liberally than in conventional cricket, shouts for LBW can be heard when the ball hits any part of the batsmans body. Whether the batsman walks is another matter usually dependent on intensity of the calls and the good nature of the batsman. Common claiments include Brundle, Thorne and Payne.

'Wait/Hang on' = Signifies the presence of another corridor dweller trying to get to their room/kitchen. Usually Stavros, sometimes one of the girls. Always slow, always annoying and stops play. Ideally should be eradicated from the modern game/banned from leaving their rooms between 5pm-6pm such as is the case in the Netherlands.