I live on Mars, have no family except the aliens, and live in a crater. My only connection to this world is Wikipedia. I have no idea how I came to be there, but word of eighteen mouths is that I was dropped from the sky. I am a lowly Urgle. Basically a commoner, but not a Lorkel. Those are the poorest of the poor. My Mars name is Ugliabatio, because to them I am ugly compared to their standards. (Don't ask me why or how it relates in ANY way to our language) Many times a year I compete in ugly competitions, and have never gotten anything less than 3rd place. But the most beautiful "girl" on Mars is Eehshokan. It's pronounced e'sha'ken. She is so beautiful that she has 19 mouths!!! And seven tiny gray-green-brown eyes. Her skin is the most beautiful we have ever seen! It drips green and orange goo and it smells of rotting meat! We all bow down to her. I am VERY ugly compared to her. I have long blond hair (ugh!) and bright green eyes (disgusting!) and my skin looks like cream and roses and it smells like that too!! Why would my parents create such a horrid creature??? Anyway, enjoy my story! ৳ This means "peace" in Martian.