User:Jmhogg/Executive Order 13694/Stephen.defibaugh Peer Review
Peer review
Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects: LeadGuiding questions:
ContentGuiding questions:
Tone and BalanceGuiding questions:
Sources and ReferencesGuiding questions:
OrganizationGuiding questions:
Images and MediaGuiding questions: If your peer added images or media
For New Articles OnlyIf the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.
Overall impressionsGuiding questions:
Examples of good feedbackA good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.
Additional Resources |
General info
edit- Whose work are you reviewing?
Reviewing JM Hogg's article on EO 13694
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jmhogg/Executive_Order_13694?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- None
Evaluate the drafted changes
editThe article is a fresh entry on a previously undocumented topic regarding the Executive Order 13964.
The Lead Section is very detailed but could be broken up for easier reading. There are run on sentences that detract from the usefulness of the lead section. The lead section does not explain the below sections or their organization. There is also a spelling error The executive order was titled Blocking the Property of Certain Persons *Engagin * In Significant
Section 1's working choice is somewhat difficult to read in comparison to later sections. For example the sentence ,"Section 1 defines the criteria through the Secretary of the Treasury (in coordination of the Attorney General and Secretary of State) shall designate individuals" may be easier to read as, "Section 1 defines the criteria, through which, the Secretary of the Treasury (in coordination of the Attorney General and Secretary of State) shall designate individuals.
I would recommend considering a table format rather than individual sections composed entirely of text. The information is clear from Section 2 onward and would be easily read in tabular formatting.
The See Also section is a good addition and provides additional reading.
As far as references, are there additional references that provide alternate interpretations of the EO? References are from one source which relies solely on the interpretation of the author.