My mediation style is as follows:
- I typically ask, but do not require, the ability to ask sannse for advice, if needed
- I start out asking participants to summarize the nature of the conflict and what kind of a resolution they expect
- I do not frown on private communication in mediation between any of the parties (includes me).
Note that I feel that the primary goal of mediation is to make people edit more harmoniously with each other, and mediation is at most tangentially about article content. It is not within the scope of mediation to decide what article content should be (that belongs to open polls, because mediation can naturally not bind anyone not party to it, not that it can actually bind anyone anyhow). To reiterate, mediation is about making people interact more productively. It may serve to remind people about Wikipedia policy, but it is at its base about purely social adjustments.