Craig Davis Born in Newark, Nottinghamshire, England on the 20th of September 1973.
His parents were going to name him Capri after the Greek Island or car where he was conceived.
As a child Craig showed signs of nothing. His parents wondered if there was a mix-up at the hospital.
In 1991 along with several others, the ATTF was founded. The ATTF engaged in classroom warfare against John Thawley, a notorious maths teacher of the era.
Craig first love was a 64 year old lady whom he met at the local Gilroes cemetery. This started a 10 year love affair with ‘ladies of the grave’. Craig has always maintained that they were all ‘consenting’.
After finishing his A level Craig undertook a MEng in Electronic Engineering at Southampton University. At University Craig was involved in an industrial accident in which a soldering iron ‘fell’ into this urethra.
After graduating Craig undertook several jobs.
Recreational Procreational Film actor as a fluffer.
Craig to this today maintains that he ticked the wrong box on the form.
CIA Assassin.
Drag Queen.
Circus clown.
Craig was fired after an inappropriate relationship with the bearded lady and the lions.
In the summer of 2005 Craig finally found a girl. Unbeared and alive, the FTSE rose to a record high. Later that year under unknown circumstances Craig proposed.