User talk:Toddst1/Join Wikipedia!
 | This is a humorous essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously. |
Wikipedia needs you! edit
If you've got an agenda to push, Wikipedia is the place for you to do it! You too can be a powerful spin doctor. Why leave it to the talking heads on TV? Start editing Wikipedia and you too can twist history.
- If you're a two-bit politician who wants to slander your opponent, Wikipedia wants you!
- If you're a non-notable blogger who wants to write about yourself and cite your blog as an authoritative reliable source, Wikipedia wants you!
- If you've got a fringe theory you want to push, Wikipedia wants you!
- If you want to discredit generally accepted principles of science and push your alternative views, Wikipedia wants you!
- Want to re-write history? No problem!
Don't think that just because you're a nut, you can't be considered equal. All you have to do is bring some mildly concealed self-published sources to cite or better yet, use the power of the tabloid press.
Plenty of opportunity edit
Great examples of theories or ideas that can still be pushed on Wikipedia are:
- George Washington was a Muslim
- Santa Claus was involved in a secret cult that promoted homosexuality in reindeer.
- The Earth is flat, and shaped like an octagon
- Abiogenic petroleum origin
- Collectivism
- Sarah Palin
- Cody eats cheese
- Wikipedia:Verifiability
Getting away with it edit
Don't worry, most folks on Wikipedia really have no clue how to deal with POV pushers, including administrators. Even those that do are lowering their standards on a daily basis. Click here to learn how to manipulate the entire platform.
If you think an admin is on to you, quickly accuse him/her of being involved and/or having a bias and report them immediately on ANI. You should probably throw in a few uncivil comments to give the air of authenticity to your actions.
Post something like "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" on User talk:Jimbo Wales.
If none of that works, and you're about to be blocked, say as dramatically as you can that this is a great example of why editors are leaving Wikipedia and maybe that you'll blog about all this.
Join us!