- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by PFHLai (talk) 11:07, 2 January 2016 (UTC)
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Mia Matsumiya edit
... that violinist Mia Matsumiya, who created a popular Instagram account highlighting the online harassment that she had faced, used to hide in band lockers in middle school due to her small stature?
- Reviewed: Fordham Plaza, Bronx
Created by Ktr101 (talk). Self-nominated at 18:33, 12 November 2015 (UTC).
Article is 5x expanded, long enough at 1584 characters, and thoroughly referenced. Hook is interesting/fun, short enough and referenced, but could be improved by shortening. QPQ done. No image. FunkyCanute (talk) 15:15, 19 November 2015 (UTC)
- @FunkyCanute: what part would you like to remove? Kevin Rutherford (talk) 02:44, 20 November 2015 (UTC)
- There are several facts in the hook: she's a violinst, set up an Instagram account, she was the victim of online harassment, she's small, she used to hide in lockers at school. Perhaps dropping one of these - I suggest the Instagram part - would make it snappier. There are also several superfluous words that could be removed. For example, the last phrase could read 'was small enough to hide in band lockers at school', which is 5 syllables shorter. FunkyCanute (talk) 09:31, 20 November 2015 (UTC)
- I would be fine with removing the violinist part, as I think at this point it is the Instagram account that has gotten more mentions. One alternative would be to remove the violinist part and the specifics around the Instagram account, and state something along the lines of
"...that Mia Matsumiya, who created the Instagram account "Perv magnet", used to hide in band lockers in middle school due to her small stature?"Kevin Rutherford (talk) 07:05, 21 November 2015 (UTC)
- That looks good to me. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:30, 22 November 2015 (UTC)
- I would be fine with removing the violinist part, as I think at this point it is the Instagram account that has gotten more mentions. One alternative would be to remove the violinist part and the specifics around the Instagram account, and state something along the lines of
- Before I read the conversation below the check, I was about to promote this with the original hook, which I see absolutely no problem with. The Squirrel Conspiracy (talk) 00:49, 29 November 2015 (UTC)
I have pulled this from prep 3 due to this discussion. Gatoclass (talk) 03:34, 3 December 2015 (UTC)
- Noted, and I will go ahead and fix this in the coming days. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 16:13, 10 December 2015 (UTC)
- How about this?
- ALT1: ... that violinist Mia Matsumiya spent ten years cataloging online harassment that she received, and has created a popular Instagram account featuring those messages?" Kevin Rutherford (talk) 02:11, 17 December 2015 (UTC)
Reviewer needed to check ALT1 (which I have numbered for clarity). Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:44, 26 December 2015 (UTC)
- Review Good to go! 5X expansion, timely nominated. Meets core policies and guidelines, and in particular: is neutral; cites sources with inline citations; is free of close paraphrasing issues, copyright violations and plagiarism. DYK nomination was timely and article is easily long enough. Every paragraph is cited. No copyright violations or too close paraphrasing. Earwig's copy violation detector: Mia Matsumiya report gives it a clean bill. ALT1 Hook is hooky enough, I think, and relates directly to the essence of the article. It is interesting, decently neutral, and appropriately cited. QPQ done. 7&6=thirteen (☎) 23:53, 1 January 2016 (UTC)