Template:Did you know nominations/Federal Web Managers Council

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Miyagawa (talk) 22:13, 23 February 2012 (UTC)

Federal Web Managers Council edit

  • ... that the Federal Web Managers Council is the steering committee for the Web Content Managers Forum, an ad hoc community of more than 2,000 U.S. government Web and New Media professionals?
  • ALT1:... that the Federal Web Managers Council manages the HowTo.gov website to help government workers deliver a better customer experience to citizens?

Created/expanded by Cirrus Editor (talk). Self nom at 14:15, 25 January 2012 (UTC)

  • very concerned with close paraphrasing of some of these sources. On first glance, seems in some places a direct copy. Lord Roem (talk) 20:38, 10 February 2012 (UTC)
Thank you much! I placed a set of new quotation marks, added references where I think appropriate, added a couple of new outbound links for the .gov reform effort, and edited throughout to clarify meaning.Cirrus Editor (talk) 14:32, 11 February 2012 (UTC)
  • ALT1 hook is passed. Phrasing in article is much better; I think it resolves my concern raised above. Everything else checks out. Also (just a note) nominator has <5 DYK credits so no QPQ needed. Regards, Lord Roem (talk) 15:41, 12 February 2012 (UTC)

It's improved, but I'm not sure that it's improved enough just yet. Compare for example "federal agencies to "get smart" about consolidation, sharing platforms, and computing resources" with "agencies have to "get smart" about consolidation, sharing platforms and computing resources", or "collaborates across government agencies to modernize policies and improve the federal government's ability to manage and deliver online information and services" with "collaborate within and across government to modernize policies and improve the government's ability to deliver online information and services". Nikkimaria (talk) 00:46, 13 February 2012 (UTC)

Got it! I fixed the VonRoekel quotation by adding quotes. The "modernize policies" text I simply rewrote.Cirrus Editor (talk) 01:34, 13 February 2012 (UTC)
  • From what I can see, you've addressed the paraphrasing concerns. The only other concern I had was the use of external links within the body of the article (discouraged by the Manual of Style), but I've taken the initiative and removed this. Moswento (talk | contribs) 13:17, 23 February 2012 (UTC)
    • Thank you, Moswento. Much appreciated. I added those as external links at the bottom of the page and also cleaned up a leftover.Cirrus Editor (talk) 21:05, 23 February 2012 (UTC)