Template:Did you know nominations/Battle of Surabaya (1677)

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:30, 18 March 2017 (UTC)

Battle of Surabaya (1677), Fall of Plered

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Created by HaEr48 (talk). Self-nominated at 07:31, 12 March 2017 (UTC).

  • See below.
    • Both articles -- Battle of Surabaya & Fall of Plered -- are new, & were written within 7 days of their nomination.
    • Both articles exceed the minimum length handily. However, both could be much improved with some copy-editing or word-smithing attention. (I suspect this is due to the writer not being a native English speaker.)
    • The hook. Although both articles support the hook, mentioning the chain of events clearly, the problem I have with it is that it's short but not clear. Reading both articles carefully, I find that while Trunajaya's court was captured a month before the royal court, the connection is not clear. My first thought was that the hook should read:
      "... that after the rebel Trunajaya lost his court in the Battle of Surabaya, his forces recovered and one month later sacked the Mataram royal court?"
      However, not only did Trunajaya's rebellion fail in the long run, it was not the royalist forces that dealt him a serious blow but the Dutch, so it's not a successful response, strictly speaking. Maybe the hook should read:
      "... that despite losing his own court in the Battle of Surabaya, one month later the rebel Trunajaya led his forces to the capture of the Mataram royal court?"
    • Neither article is covered by BLP or other policies I am aware of, so there is no issue there.
    • All images used in these articles come from Wikimedia Commons, have the appropriate licenses, & meet expectations.
Once the issue with the hook is resolved, I'd consider it approved. -- llywrch (talk) 20:44, 17 March 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for the review, Llywrch. I agree with your concern about the hook. Your last suggestion makes sense except that the sources does not mention that Trunajaya was physically present during the fall of Plered, so "led his forces" is problematic. I'll try to come up with a modification, but feel free if you have an idea too. HaEr48 (talk) 01:08, 18 March 2017 (UTC)

@Llywrch: How about this:

HaEr48 (talk) 06:01, 18 March 2017 (UTC)

Works for me. -- llywrch (talk) 07:13, 18 March 2017 (UTC)