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Template:Did you know nominations/Bandung Raya

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 14:58, 3 July 2012 (UTC)

Bandung Raya edit

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Created/expanded by Annas86 (talk). Self nom at 11:03, 13 May 2012 (UTC)

  • Article is new enough, long enough, nominated in time and the hook is interesting. Though the article needs a couple of tweaks:
  • I have removed the two refs from the lead, as I don't feel they are necessary per WP:CITELEAD. I moved one of the refs to the body of the article but the other with the ref name "metro" is actually three different sources, and this needs to be sorted out.
*The last sentance in the first paragraph of the body of the article is not cited.
*The section "Notable players" are unsourced, and unless you find a source and a clear inclusion or exclusion criteria, this section should be completely removed.
*Sources with other languages then English, should be markes as such.
*Is there possible to find the club's logo, and add it to the article?
  • When these issues have been fixed, I will continue reviewing the nomination. Mentoz86 (talk) 21:32, 25 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks for your review. one other ref named "metro", was explained in body of the article, in history (1996-1997 season). last sentence in the first paragraph of the body of the article is clear from the explanation history of the club, and also each year detail in performance section. so i think its no needed of citation. I have added inclusion and exclusion criteria for notable players. *Annas* (talk) 10:16, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
  • I have fix problem with some sources from non english languange. I also add a club logo, thanks. *Annas* (talk) 11:27, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Yes, you'll need a inline citation for everything per WP:DYK. I took the liberty of changing the three refs with refname "metro" to "metro1", "metro2" and "metro3" so that you see what I mean. The three other inline citations with <ref name="metro"/> needs to be changed to one of those three before I can proceed with the nomination. I have also struck from my list above what you have done, so that it's clear what still needs to be done. Mentoz86 (talk) 12:16, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Sorry, what do you mean with, ref name "metro" is actually three different source? It's one source from one page in news website that use as a reference for many times in the article *Annas* (talk) 12:48, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
  • I'm so sorry, I got it all wrong, never mind that. Now we just need a source for the notable players section. Mentoz86 (talk) 13:07, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Done . All players meet the criteria, Nuralim have 49 national caps and Kiswanto have 40 caps, Sandria and Gluscevic topscorer. *Annas* (talk) 13:42, 27 May 2012 (UTC)
  • The article needs copyediting from a native speaker.--Carabinieri (talk) 10:57, 28 May 2012 (UTC)
    • Yes, my english not really good. Any body can help? or where should i asking for help? *Annas* (talk) 11:14, 28 May 2012 (UTC)
      • I was supposed to start on the copy-editing, but then I encountered a issues that I've explained on Annas' talk page, but I will continue with the CE right away. Mentoz86 (talk) 11:38, 28 May 2012 (UTC)

I have now done some CE, but it might be needed a look-through by someone native English-speaker. It came to my attention that the text regarding the sponsorship-deal with Mastrans is unsourced, while it is unclear if this is correct: "Unfortunately, this was their last match as the club dissolved after the season, due to financial trouble.[6][7]". Ref 6 says that it dissolved in 1997, but I have not yet found anything on "their last match". Ref 7 says that "Bandung Raya did not play because of financial difficulties." (in 1997-98), while Ref 8 states that "Bandung Raya withdrew from the league due to internal problems." (before the 1998-99 season) and Ref 10 states (translated): "disbanded in 1997-1998 season". As this is the sentance that back's up the hook, the sentance should be tweaked according to the source(s). (If my understanding of Indonesian is wrong, please let me know) Mentoz86 (talk) 13:21, 28 May 2012 (UTC)

  • Thanks for CE. IMO dissolved = disbanded (CMIIW). After played in 1997 final match, they dont play in 1997-1998 season. Internal problem which explained in Ref8 is financial trouble.*Annas* (talk) 13:58, 28 May 2012 (UTC)

Might be a little OR, I don't know. And still the sponsorship agreement is unsourced. I want a second opinion on this. Mentoz86 (talk) 21:17, 28 May 2012 (UTC)

  • I searching source on the internet but I just find source in Indonesian from wordpress([this], blogspot ([[1]]), etc. Most history of indonesian football not archived well. Should we remove sponsorship sentence?, and continue the nomination *Annas* (talk) 04:07, 29 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Yeah, I'd say get rid of it. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:27, 1 June 2012 (UTC)
  • I'm going to try to help move this along with copy edits. Please keep in mind that: 1. My foreign language skills are limited to French and Spanish, and 2. I know absolutely nothing about sports. Anne (talk) 00:48, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
  • You're welcome. I just finished copy edits for both grammar and content. I removed the copy edit banner because it's no longer required. I only ran into one significant problem. In the last sentence of history, there's mention of the club's overall world ranking. I wasn't able to find the club in the list, but it's probably because it's very late here in Chicago, and I think I've gone blind. Otherwise, I think that the article is ready to be reviewed again. Anne (talk) 05:12, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
  • The first source cited in the article does not look reliable to me. The club world rankings are just someone's personal hobby, not a recognized list. I think that should probably be removed from the article.--Carabinieri (talk) 19:19, 6 June 2012 (UTC)
  • Need a new reviewer; old one has been off the site for 11 days. BlueMoonset (talk) 04:22, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
  • Three-minute review has been questioned; absent a more thorough explanation of the criteria used, a new reviewer and subsequent approval is needed. BlueMoonset (talk) 12:43, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
  • I did copy edits on this article two weeks ago. If given the go ahead, I'll be happy to do a review today. Anne (talk) 13:34, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
  • I am reviewing this article. I did a minor tweak of the alternate hook and am currently doing copy edits of the article. Anne (talk) 18:51, 27 June 2012 (UTC) Finished copy edits for grammar. Will continue. Anne (talk) 19:32, 27 June 2012 (UTC)
  • Date, length OK. Logo fine. Non-English refs 5 and 9 AGF. Most facts cited. However, to the best of my recollection, the date of founding was cited before, and in English. It's not cited now. Also, the info box mentions the club's runner-up status in 1996-1997, but there's no mention of championship year. Anne (talk) 20:28, 27 June 2012 (UTC) As an aside, if someone feels strongly that Bandung Raya should be treated as a plural, then all the verbs will need to be in agreement with that as well. For now, I treated it as a singular, i.e. Bandung Raya, a club or team. One more thing, the chairman Tri Goestoro from the box isn't in the article. It needs a citation. Anne (talk) 01:48, 28 June 2012 (UTC)
The championship or competetition name is Liga Indonesia Premier Division, and the year is 1996-1997, its common style in the football infobox. I also added competition name and reference for chairman in the infobox. *Annas* (talk) 03:16, 28 June 2012 (UTC)
Looks like we're almost there. Citation for chairman in infobox done, AGF. I thought you might want the championship year in the box, but it looks like you want to go with the club's last year. However, we still need a citation for the date of founding of the club. Anne (talk) 19:29, 28 June 2012 (UTC)
yes, I want it go with the clubs last year. Citation for the date founding of the club is done.*Annas* (talk) 04:21, 2 July 2012 (UTC)
Inline citations for date of founding of club, AGF. I made a minor tweak to the ALT 1 hook, which is the one which should be used. (If original hook is used, it will have to be reworded slightly for grammar.) Anne (talk) 05:09, 3 July 2012 (UTC)
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