Talk:York/GA1

Latest comment: 15 years ago by Harkey Lodger in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Notes:

Toponymy

Post conquest:

  • "William the Conqueror at once built two fortresses on mottes in the city, either side of the river - still visible." This sentence needs work.  Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)Reply

Modern history:

  • I'm not sure an external link in the middle of a sentence is appropriate. I'm not sure the name of the section is suitable either - it won't always be modern.  Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)Reply

Local government:

  • First three parts are unreferenced, as is the last paragraph. I'm not sure the first paragraph should stand on its own.  Done
  • "The Liberal Democrats have 20 councillors and in May 2007 they formed a minority administration, and an executive of 9 councillors and the Labour Party formed the Opposition with 18 councillors." Sentence is far too long, and all those ands do not help it flow well.  Done
  • National government/law courts/twin cities all unreferenced.

Location:

  • "York lies within the Vale of York, a flat area of fertile arable land bordered by the Pennines, the North York Moors and the Yorkshire Wolds, at the confluence of the Rivers Ouse and Foss on a terminal moraine left by the last Ice Age" is one long sentence, please split it up or reword it so it flows better.  Done

City districts and surrounding villages:

  Done --Harkey (talk) 08:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC) Climate:Reply

  • "In summer the average maximum temperature is 22 °C (72 °F) although some days can see highs of up to 28 °C (82 °F) but nights are significantly colder averaging minimum of 15 °C (60 °F), although these can consistently dip below 10 °C (50 °F) on colder summer nights." Two althoughs in one sentence, please reword or split.  Done

Demography:

  • Needs huge expansion...  Done

Economy:

  • Again, I'm not sure it is appropriate to have external links like that in the middle of prose.  Done

Education:

  • Mostly unsourced, with two citation needed tags.  Done
  • "The University of York also boasts..." sounds like something out of a travel guide...  Done
  • "specialising in more vocational subjects such as Horticulture, Agriculture, Animal Management and even Golf Course Management." Why are the subjects capitalised?  Done
  • "In January 2009 the school hopes to move back to the Oaklands site on Cornlands Road." Did they? Didn't they? Please update.  Done

Road transport:

Air transport:

  • "Elvington's long runway means that it would be suitable for such use - indeed, the site is used as an alternate landing site for the Space Shuttle." Needs restructuring and a source. CUT  Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)Reply

Local public transport:

  • Second part is very listy.  Done

Sites of interest:

Theatre:

Music/Media/Sports:

  Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC) Noted York people:Reply

This is good so far, and is well-deserving of its B-class tag, but I'm sorry to say I don't think this is near enough GA quality.

  • 1a - clear prose. I think it does this for the most part, but I have highlighted a few problems I spotted, and there are probably more I missed.
  • 1b - again, mostly, but there are some listy sections, and odd paragraph cuts.
  • 2a and b - there are numerous sections that lack any kind of sources, and there are a few citation needed tags. I don't believe it passes this.
  • 2c - again, I don't know, because numerous parts are unsourced.
  • 3a - possibly. I saw no mention at all of Treasurer's House, which I visited the other week, which was disappointing.
  • 3b - I think this is ok.
  • 4 - some parts sound as though they are from a travel guide - and there are/were cases of unnecessary usage of adjectives, which I've removed instances of when I saw them.
  • 5 - passes this ok.
  • 6 - I think the images are great.

So, this is a decent article, but I don't think it is quite ready for GA status quite yet. I notice there has been no peer review for this article - it really could do with a thorough copyedit from a third party, in addition to fixing the issues above. Good luck with it, Majorly talk 21:17, 17 April 2009 (UTC)Reply