Talk:Work (Iggy Azalea song)/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Azealia911 (talk · contribs) 23:14, 1 September 2015 (UTC)

First of all, welcome back Marc! I see you've been away for a little while, always nice to have someone return after a month-or-so break. As you can see, I've split my comments up in a way that mirrors the articles layout for ease, any green text means I'm quoting something from the article. I hope we can work on getting this to GA! Azealia911 _talk 17:46, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Thank you! CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

General comments

• You use "Work" a lot when talking about the song, it becomes quite repetitive, and sometimes stops the flow of sentances, EG, Her rapping pace on "Work" varies from fast intricate rhymes to slow, sounds so awkward to read. Try using synonyms like the track or the song

 Done

Lead

• is the debut single is incorrect, technically "Beat Down" is her debut single. I suggest "is the debut solo single".

 Done

• Remove the comma from the first use of album, in the first sentence.

 Done

• The T in The Invisible Men should be a capital.
• Remove (2000), it's generally only used for album years.

 Done

• Jonas & Francois → Jonas & François

 Done

Background

• During December 2012 and January 2013 → During late 2012 and early 2013

 Done

• by Iggy Azalea → by Azalea

 Done

• Remove the repeated (2014)

 Done

• Remove the repeated (2000)

 Done

Composition

• Remove (2013), again, a song.

 Done

Release

• This section uses far too many dates, 11 to be exact. Try cutting them down, EG was then made available in Canada and the United States on 16 July 2013 and 23 July 2013, respectively can become → was then made available in Canada and the United States in July. There's such thing as too much detail.

 Done

• "Work" served as Azalea's debut single, → "Work" served as Azalea's debut single as a lead artist,

 Done

• Remove (EP) considering you only use the abbreviation once.

 Done

• EP → extended play, per comment above.

 Done

Critical reception

• Kellan Miller of XXL said "Work" was → Kellan Miller of XXL deemed the track as

 Done

• Is the full stop after Respect. deliberate?

Yeah. That's how the magazine is titled, much like the "!" in Exclaim! or E! for example. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

• I'd remove the entire third paragraph to be honest, the section is bursting with single reviews and it doesn't seem to add much, just a couple of album reviews and more of the same.

I actually found the last paragraph to be most insightful, so I've done a lot of trimming on the previous two instead. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Commercial performance

• No mention of the songs performance on the Hot Rap Songs chart? I know you're not allowed to use a chart box for it per guidelines, but there's nothing stopping you discussing the songs performance.

I've went into quite some detail about its parent chart Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs already, and felt had I included Rap songs in prose it would encourage IPs to include it in the chart box. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

• Remove the certification provider shorteners like (BPI) and (MC), they're linked in the cert box so there's no confusion.

 Done

Music video

Background and development

• Jonas & Francois → Jonas & François

 Done

• Add a comma after of the song

 Done

• Add a comma after (1994)

 Done

Release and synopsis

• Vevo → VEVO

 Done

Reception

• Any comment about the result of the three UK Music Video Awards that the video was nominated for?

 Done

Live performances and Selena Gomez cover

• Remove and Selena Gomez cover from the title, it's pretty undue considering it's also a live performance of sorts.

 Done

• Speaking of the SG cover, there seems to be undue weight in her mentioning, do we really need three reviews of her performance of someone elses song? I'd make the section all one paragraph, and simply add on Selena Gomez covered "Work" during her Stars Dance Tour in 2013, in a mash-up with her song "B.E.A.T.". A writer for MuchMusic deemed it "a badass rendition".[104] to the end of the first bit.

I found the reviews bits for it quite trivial and unprofessional so I've removed them altogether. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

• The sentence about the iTunes festival need sourcing.

I've added in a few other missing references as well, and updated the section a little. You might want to spot check that. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

• Remove (1992), again, song.

 Done

• Remove wearing a white jumpsuit airbrushed with an image of Al Pacino from the film Scarface (1983)., it's trivial.

 Done

Credits and personnel

• Move the liner notes section to the top of the section.

 Done

Track listings

• I'd swap the two columns around, considering the solo single came first.

 Done

Release history

• The remixes EP was also released to CD

That appears to be promo CD that DJs used for club play and are now selling secondhand? As far as I know 911.com are the equivalent of eBay? Had an official CD been released it would at least be visible at main retailers like Amazon or Best Buy, even if sold out. CoolMarc 21:29, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

References

• A few dead links

 Done

• I highly recommend archiving every iTunes source. iTunes is a reliable source for release dates, but very unstable and forever vulnerable to link rot. I'd suggest using this site to archive links, and add |archiveurl= and |archivedate= to every ref you archive.

 Done

External links

• The YouTube link is dead.

 Done

I've deliberately not finished my review as I worry by the time I've got through each section, it'll be too much to work on in a seven day time span, and I'd quite like to see this bumped up to GA. Leave any empty sections alone, and I'll get to them in due time. Give me a buzz when you've addressed all my comments, and I'll carry on reviewing Azealia911 _talk 17:46, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Azealia911 Thanks for the prompt response and thorough review so far! CoolMarc 21:34, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

No problem! I've temporarily hidden resolved sections as to not confuse myself, which of course I'll unhide when the full review is over. I'll add more comments about the remaining sections soon! Thankyou for addressing them so quickly and hassle free. Azealia911 _talk 21:38, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Cool, thank you! I'm 100% done now with the fixing/adding/copyediting so feel free to continue whenever you have time! Thanks again. CoolMarc 22:26, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Azealia911 All done! CoolMarc 14:44, 3 September 2015 (UTC)

Passing, thank you very much for promptly responding to my comments, even if some were picky! If you want to get revenge on me return the favor, I also have an Iggy Azalea song up for GA (Heavy Crown). Azealia911 _talk 14:55, 3 September 2015 (UTC)

Azealia911 370 edits later and I've finally gotten this up to scratch, so chuffed haha! Thanks again. CoolMarc 16:19, 3 September 2015 (UTC)