Talk:Watermelon/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Biblioworm (talk · contribs) 01:25, 25 November 2014 (UTC)

• Review  In progress. --Biblioworm 01:25, 25 November 2014 (UTC)

@Cwmhiraeth: Here are my comments:

• Is the article well-written? - Mostly. There are a few things that could use fixing, though.
  • At much the same date, Native Americans were cultivating the crop in the Mississippi valley and Florida and watermelons were later quickly accepted in Hawaii and other Pacific islands when they were introduced there by Captain James Cook and other explorers.
    • This sentence is a bit run-on and could use some separation. I would also recommend changing "At much the same date" to "Around the same time".
  • These are no longer grown to any great extent but their lineage has been further developed into hybrid varieties with higher yields, better flesh quality and attractive appearance.
    • Comma between "extent" and "but".
  • This has been achieved through the use of triploid varieties but these are sterile, and the cost of producing the seed, through crossing a tetraploid parent with a normal diploid parent, is high.
    • Comma between "varieties" and "but".
  • The plants need plenty of room and should be kept weed free, nipping out the growing tips when the stems are two metres (yards) long.
    • We are not a how-to guide.
  • Aphids, fruit flies and root-knot nematodes attack this crop and if humidity levels are high, the plants are prone to plant diseases such as powdery mildew and mosaic virus.
    • Comma between "crop" and "and", and another comma between "diseases" and "such".
  • Watermelons have a longer growing period than other melons and can often take 85 days or more from transplanting for the fruit to mature.
    • Comma between "melons" and "and". I would also change "from transplanting" to "from the time of transplanting".
  • A watermelon contains about 6% sugar and 91% water by weight.
    • Not sure if "by weight" is necessary. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
  • The 'Carolina Cross' produced the current world record watermelon weighing 120 kilograms (260 lb). It has green skin, red flesh and commonly produces fruit between 29 and 68 kilograms (65 and 150 lb). It takes about 90 days from planting to harvest.
    • Comma between "watermelon" and "weighing".
  • The 'Golden Midget' has golden rind when ripe and pink flesh and takes only 70 days from planting to harvest.
    • I would reword this to say, "The 'Golden Midget' has a golden rind and pink flesh when ripe, and takes 70 days from planting to harvest".
  • The Melitopolski watermelons are seen piled high by vendors in Moscow in summer. This variety takes around 95 days from planting to harvest.
    • Add "the" between "in" and "summer".
  • C. l. lanatus var caffer grows wild in the Kalahari Desert where it is known as tsamma.
    • Comma between "Desert" and "where".
• Is the article verifiable? - Yes.
• Is the article broad? - Yes.
• Is the article neutral? - Mostly, but this is one sentence that concerns me:
  • Many cultivars are no longer grown commercially because of their thick rind, but seeds may be available among home gardeners and specialty seed companies. Old cultivars with good flavour and other features, as well as the thick rind desirable for making watermelon pickles include 'Tom Watson', 'Georgia Rattlesnake', and 'Black Diamond'.
    • I think "good flavor" is a bit biased and original research, as not all people think watermelon is good. (For example, the person typing right now does not like watermelon.)
• Is the article stable? - Yes.
• Is the article illustrated? - Yes.

Thanks for taking on this review. I have dealt with the points you raise above, removed the "how to" sentence and the original research (which predates my involvement with the article). I read it through and made a few alterations. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:56, 25 November 2014 (UTC)

@Cwmhiraeth: Thanks for your improvements. The article looks much better, so I'll ✓ Pass this. --Biblioworm 21:09, 25 November 2014 (UTC)

Final decision: This article certainly has potential, so I'll put this  On hold. I recommend that you fix the issues I mentioned above, and perhaps do some general copyediting if you notice any more run-on sentences. Regards, --Biblioworm 14:32, 25 November 2014 (UTC)