Wikipedia

Talk:United Arab Emirates at the 2012 Summer Olympics/GA1

< Talk:United Arab Emirates at the 2012 Summer Olympics
Latest comment: 3 years ago by MrLinkinPark333 in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
Latest comment: 3 years ago186 comments2 people in discussion
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MrLinkinPark333 (talk · contribs) 18:16, 11 July 2020 (UTC)Reply


Hello! It's been awhile since I've done a GA review. I've seen this one wasn't claimed by someone, so I thought I do it especially since I've reviewed a few countries at X Olympics articles before. As per usual, if you have any questions/comments, please feel free to reply here in the review. For the below table, I'll use it for my initial passthrough. Question marks are for points that require a little bit of work while red marks are for ones that require a lot of work. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:16, 11 July 2020 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Lead  Y

edit
  • Question of whether it was 26 or 27 athletes per Ali Mabkhout. Unless the number only counts the ones who were selected first, and not the alternative who played later?
  • The highest UAE result was 9th by weightlifter Khadija Mohammad, not the 13th placed shooters. Y
  • Note to self: Will need to recheck after a analysis of the entire article

Infobox  Y

edit
Extended content

Background  Y

edit

P1:  Y

  • "The nation debuted at the Olympics four years later at the 1984 Los Angeles Summer Games...their eighth appearance at a Summer Olympiad" - I think this should be split into two sentences per the comma splice. Y
  • The city names (Los Angeles / London) aren't mentioned in the Olympic Reference page for the UAE - making this Original Research. However, if you think this is common knowledge, it'd be fine. Y

P2  Y

  • "The United Arab Emirates named its Olympic team at the Dubai Aquarium on 21 June 2012" - technically they named only part of their team (6 athletes) on that date per Reuters. They hadn't said who'd compete in the athletics and football at that date. If you could find when they named the rest of the team, it'd help as this is partially incomplete. If not, then "named its Olympic team" -> "named part of its Olympic team" Y
    • Done MWright96 (talk) 20:00, 11 July 2020 (UTC)Reply
    • Side note: Reuteurs said there was going to be an UAE sailing team for the 2012 Olympics. However, I don't see them qualifying that year so I don't think it's accurate. You can skip the sailing one.
  • "Shaikh Ahmed bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum" - comma needed before and after this name. Y
  • "and various government delegates to the Games" - yep, but also sports executives as well. Y
  • "and a LOCOG Games Maker held it for the closing ceremony." - could you wikilink/expand LOCOG as it's an unfamiliar acronym? I had to look it up to determine it was the organizing committee for the games. Y

Athletics  Y

edit

P1: Y


P2  Y

Football  Y

edit

Prose:  Y

Tables:  Y

Football extra stuff  Y

edit

I realized after I logged off I missed some points. I'll check the above points as well:

Judo  Y

edit

--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:08, 12 July 2020 (UTC)Reply

Second check after checking the above changes  Y:

Judo table  Y

edit

Shooting  Y

edit

P1  Y:

P2  Y

  • "Juma Al-Maktoum was 28 years old at the London Games" - needs a source/swap source to show he was 28 at the times of the games as Gulf News doesnt state it. Y
  • "He qualified for the Olympic double trap tournament by winning the gold medal in the discipline" -> He qualified for the Olympic double trap tournament after winning the gold medal in the discipline (see P3). Y
  • "went to a training camp outside of Milan in Italy" - similar to the Gulf News source that needs a bit of rewording for limited wording. Y
  • "He said of his chances in London," - I'm not 100% sure if that summarizes his quote correctly. From my understanding, he was happy to participate and that he had no issues with the training. Perhaps another phrase is needed to introduce his quote before the Olympics started. But, I could be reading too much into it. Y
  • "On 2 August Al-Maktoum competed in the qualification round" - comma after August please. Y
  • "after he scored a respective 42, 45 and 46 points" - I think respective is an incorrect word here as it pertains to two or more people. So, "a respective" can be dropped as the rest of the sentence is good. Y
  • "four less points than the two lowest scoring shooters" - The lowest qualifiers had 137 points, while Juma Al-Maktoum had 133. The lowest score was 114 by the Croatian shooter, so you need the lowest qualifiers, not the lowest overall score. Up to you if you want to repeat "the two lowest scoring qualifiers" again or use a different phrasing. Y
  • "and was not able to advance to the final of the event" - Olympics.org doesn't mention the final, just who qualified and didn't. I think mainly because they're retesting the London 2012 samples. Y

P3  Y

Table  Y

Swimming  Y

edit
  • "was granted a universality place...for the men's 100 metre breaststroke" - this is very long especially after the comma of "who at the age of 24 was competing in his first Olympic Games,". I suggest making the universality spot a different source. Y
  • In terms of the sources, this FINA source at page 5 contradicts the SwimSwam source in terms of the FINA invitation time (it was published months after the SwimSwam source). So, it's possible the time was updated as the qualifying time is the same, but the invitation time is different). So, both the time and time difference from B class would need to be updated. Y
  • "He attended training camps in Málaga, Spain and London, United Kingdom" - at the time of the Sport360 source, he hadn't trained in London yet, only in Spain. So London could be removed. Y
  • ""So God willing, if I clock 1min 3sec or 1min 2sec, I will be very happy in London" - this quote comes later in the Sport 360 source than ""Inshallah, I’ll clock another personal best in London. I’m expecting a surprise there" and is not in the same quote. Therefore, I suggest either separating the quotes or only keeping one of them. Y
  • "since the competition's formal allowed only the quickest 16 competitors to enter the semi-finals" - Do you mean format instead of formal? Y

Table  Y

Weightlifting  Y

edit

Table:  Y

  • Olympedia has Mohammad's rank in both the Snatch and Clean & Jerk as 9th, not 12th. This was after the retests that bumped her from 12th to 9th. Y

--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:05, 15 July 2020 (UTC)Reply

Additional comments per past edits  Y

  • "While she had some training prior to the Games" - Gulf News doesn't specify she only had some training, so "While she had some training" -> "While she had trained" Y
  • "were additional reasons that it became worse" -> "were reasons why it became worse" (there were only 2 reasons why it became worse. Yes I said additional reasons in the above section). Y

Images and captions  Y

edit

Sources  Y

edit

Last minute checks  Y

edit

This is for stuff that I hadn't spotted before, especially with grammar.

Overall

edit

@MWright96: I think I've checked everything. I'll have to reread all of this after I check the Swimming edits, and once the weightlifting issues are resolved. I especially will have to recheck for any other grammar/spelling issues and if I missed any neturality/manual of style spots, plus save the lead for last. Overall:

  • Criteria that passes: has reflist, article is stable, no issue with manual of style, main topics are covered,
  • Small issues: One sentence I believe isnt't netural (Mohammed being unprepared in comparison to what the Kahleej Times/Gulf News sources said), few points where too much detail needed to be removed (i.e. mentioning who won the gold in weightlifting)
  • Medium issues: Question of whether Fox News is reliable per the ongoing RFC, additional Panorama licenses needed to be added for two UK buildings, Captions needed to be updated for grammar/factual accuracy, additional spelling/grammar in ssections (i.e. formal -> format, phrase -> phase).
  • Big issues: Original Research in terms of sources not verifying content/not 100% accurate to what source says, Copyvio of word for word exact phrasing/close paraphrasing of content.

As most of this was already completed while I was reviewing, I'm willing to put this on hold for a week (until July 22nd) then check from there. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:41, 15 July 2020 (UTC)Reply

@MWright96: Alrighty. I believe you are all set. I wasn't expecting that Fox News RFC to effect this nomination lol! But, I saw you swapped it out so you didn't have to wait. I would have extended the hold if I had to because of the source, but that didn't need to happen. Promoting to GA. Well done! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:25, 18 July 2020 (UTC)Reply
Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:United_Arab_Emirates_at_the_2012_Summer_Olympics/GA1&oldid=968347435"