Talk:Twin Suns/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 20:11, 22 May 2021 (UTC)

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:11, 22 May 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Add the "use mdy dates" template to fix citations per WP:BADDATE.
• The lead should be expanded to two to three paragraphs to summarize the entire article.

 Done, I hope it is enough to summarize the article, I did not want to spoil the episode's main twist (which makes up most of the Writing section). Yeeno (talk) 🍁 22:15, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

Looks great. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 22:24, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

Plot

• Isn't the word "Holocron", also seen in #Casting, supposed to be capitalized?

Looking at Wookieepedia, it is not capitalized as an in-universe object. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 17:45, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

Just asking since Wikipedia and various sources have it capitalized. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 18:58, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

I understand the confusion, Wikipedia refers to the real-life database (capitalized), while the fictional in-universe object is not. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 19:05, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

• "Shortly afterwards" → "Shortly afterward" (American English)
• The plot section is under 400 words, so that passes MOS:TVPLOT.

Production

• Recite sources at the end of every quote per WP:QUOTE.

Is this needed for the mid sentence quote? If not I only recited the one that preceded a semi-colon. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 18:08, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

No, just for sentences containing quotes. The one with "wretched hive of scum and villainy" needs a recite. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 18:45, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

I'm not sure how to treat this one, since the full line is not referenced in the article, but rather mentioned as the "'scum and villainy' line" (see ref 15); I only included the full line to make it clear to the readers what it refers to. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 19:09, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

Well, the phrase would need a citation at the end of the sentence its in. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 19:12, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

 Done Yeeno (talk) 🍁 19:18, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

• "creation the episode" → "creation of the episode"
• "Lucasfilm Story Group, who" → "Lucasfilm Story Group, which" (not a person)
• "the season 2" doesn't sound right - maybe change it to "the second season"
• "one off" → "one-off"
• Is the comma after "emotional connection" necessary?
• Remove the comma after "controversial" (short sentence).
• "the The Phantom Menace" → "The Phantom Menace"
• "as at the same age is" is confusing so reword

Dropped the "as" here, sounds better. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 17:52, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

• "According the Filoni" → "According to Filoni"
• Remove the comma after "protecting".
• "21 minute" → "21-minute"
• Remove the comma after "impressed".
• Remove the comma after "contributions to the character".

Promotion and release

• "in United Kingdom" → "in the United Kingdom"

Reception

• Slash Film → /Film
• New York Daily News → New York Daily News
• "well received" → "well-received" (both uses)
• Add a serial comma after "Kenobi, Maul".
• Order the citations after "storyline".
• Also make a WP:CITEBUNDLE to avoid WP:OVERCITE.
• IGN → IGN
• "the The AV Club" → The A.V. Club
• This section has a lot of quotes so try paraphrasing and expanding the section per WP:RECEPTION.

 Done Yeeno (talk) 🍁 22:36, 29 May 2021 (UTC)

References

• #3 is missing its author and date parameters.
• Use "cite AV media" for #5.

This is already done. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 18:47, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

• #6, #11, #13, #16, #18, #21, #22, #24, #25 are missing authors.
• Try wikilinking websites.
• #19 and #23 should be "Anderton; Joe" instead of "Joe Anderton"
• Remove "- Nerdist" from the title of #21 and change the website name to "Nerdist".
• "CINEMABLEND" → "CinemaBlend"
• Properly cite #24 and wikilink Mitch Metcalf.
• "KEANE, SEAN" → "Keane, Sean"
• "nydailynews.com" → New York Daily News
• The AV Club → The A.V. Club
• ScreenRant → Screen Rant
• Sources are archived.

Some Dude From North Carolina: I've implemented all your suggestions. If the reception section still needs work, any advice or assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reviewing this! Yeeno (talk) 🍁 23:10, 29 May 2021 (UTC)

Progress

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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