Talk:Trapper Nelson/GA1

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Quadell in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Nominator: Noted 7 (t · c)
Reviewer: Quadell (talk) 13:43, 20 July 2011 (UTC)Reply

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
  1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. The prose is generally excellent. I have reworded a few parts for clarity and tone.
  1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. There are a few problems, described below.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
  2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. The references section is fine.
  2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). The inline citations are great, but I have a few nitpicks, listed below.
  2c. it contains no original research. One problem, see below.
3. Broad in its coverage:
  3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. No problems.
  3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). No problems.
  4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. No problems here.
  5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. No problems in this area.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
  6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. Checking on the one image...
  6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. No problems in this area.
  7. Overall assessment. The "remaining issues" were not resolved. If these are fixed, please feel free to renominate.

Remaining issues edit

  • The 3rd paragraph in "Decline" has a number of surprising statements, any of which could be challenged, and there are three footnotes together at the end of the paragraph. I don't think all three sources confirm each fact. It would be better to have some of the individual claims referenced independently.
  • The "Harvey, Dorothy" footnote #7 does indeed confirm that someone named Ellison Wilson (among others) visited the zoo, but it doesn't indicate who he was. He doesn't seem notable. Would it be better to simply say the following? "Locally prominent people and celebrities alike visited,{citation 7 goes here} including boxing champion..."
  • In the last paragraph of "Death", I don't think DuBois' quote adds anything to the article. It works better without it, in my opinion.
  • It gets too close to original research with the "it may have been possible for someone to sneak up on him" bit. The source attributes this speculation to Joe Vleck, the last man to see Nelson alive. I think the article should attribute the guess instead of stating it, even if it's only attributed to "a neighbor" or somesuch.
  • Do we have a good estimate for how long he was dead when he was found? One source indicates it was at least a week... do any get more specific? Can we be sure he died in 1968?
  • Better categories are needed. We can get more specific than "people from Florida".
  • According to WP:LEAD, the lede should summarize all parts of the article, but the "Early life" and the first half of "Settlement..." aren't summarized in the lede. Also, since the lede shouldn't provide info not included in the body of the article, it doesn't need footnotes. The "Tarzan of the Loxahatchee" moniker is referenced to "Jupiter Kid's History" in the lede, but this should be cited in the "Settlement..." section instead. The other lede footnote is redundant with the body.