Talk:Tokyo Babylon/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by TeenAngels1234 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: TeenAngels1234 (talk · contribs) 00:33, 20 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

OK. Let's begin.

  • Are you sure it's necessary to specify that "the plot begins with a monster of the week approach"? You may consider moving it to another section of the article, IMHO.
    • Removed
  • Can you quickly explain what an onmyōji is?
    • Basically an old fashioned way to refer to exorcists who work for the government. Subaru is often onmyoji. Rephrased a bit.
  • "and egging on their mutual friend Seishiro Sakurazuka, a kindly, 25-year-old veterinarian, when he declares his love for Subaru." So the girl is used to egging and it's a reinterred thing over time? Or is it something she only does once after the declaration of love? It's not very clear to me.
    • Reworded. Seishiro claims to be in love with Subaru often until the ending.
  • "A shadowy childhood moment may provide the answer". Pretty informal. I would delete this.
    • Removed.

That's all for now. Good job.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 00:33, 20 November 2021 (UTC) @TeenAngels1234: Thanks for the review.Tintor2 (talk) 00:53, 20 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

@Tintor2: Perfect. Now:

  • "but Clamp wanted to give it a more modern tone". What does this mean? And is this related with the initial title? Try to explain it better, cause it's not clear to me.
    • They don't specify how it is more modern in that book
  • "The pastry Roppongi Alrrond". What is this?
    • Removed.
  • Add a link for Cardcaptor Sakura.
    • Added
  • ".. with Zona Negativa stating that despite the series being a shōjo manga aimed at young women, Subaru's hero journey felt more like that of a manga aimed at young men, shōnen manga, due to the many types of enemies he faces while finding his foes' deep nature". I suggest to move this in Themes.
    • Done
  • "The character's relationship with Seishiro led novelist Yoshiki Tanaka to call it tragic and striking, despite his early thoughts it was a typical use of a relationship to appeal to female readers". Ditto.
    • Done
  • Regarding Subaru's darker characterization in the finale, ... as he saw Hokuto as another part of him". Idem.
    • Done
  • "Subaru and Seishirō return in Clamp's apocalyptic manga X. ... Seishiro as a vampire hunter pursuing him." Why not creating a section in Media (e.g. "Other medias") with this?

That's all.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 13:37, 20 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

    • Done. Thanks for the review.

@TeenAngels1234:Tintor2 (talk) 13:58, 20 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:  
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:  
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:  
    B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:  
    C. It contains no original research:  
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:  
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):  
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:  
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:  
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:  
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  
    Brief summa. Brief but concise. Relevant and necessary information is all present. Good prose.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 18:40, 20 November 2021 (UTC)Reply