Talk:This Dust Was Once the Man/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 18:37, 4 November 2020 (UTC)

• ""This Dust Was Once the Man" is an elegy poem by Walt Whitman in 1871" - Missing a word?

Written

• " "This Dust Was Once the Man" was included in Book XXII of Whitman's Leaves of Grass" - Yeah, it's cited in the lead, but Book XXII isn't mentioned in the body, just Leaves of Grass. To me, it seems better from a MOS/style standpoint to add the Book XXII detail to where the publishing in Leaves of Grass is mentioned in the body, and then remove the lead citation per WP:LEADCITE.

• Just removed it, the specific cluster is more useul

• "Whitman first became interested in Abraham Lincoln in the beginning of the American Civil War" - Not sure that "in the beginning of the American Civil War" is the best phrasing here
• "Whitman first became interested in Abraham Lincoln in the beginning of the American Civil War. He felt that Lincoln could be a great leader as early as 1860, and grew to admire him" - It's a bit nitpicky, but 1860 is before the beginning of the Civil War proper, so these don't quite fit together well. Maybe use a link like Secession crisis of 1860-61 instead of American Civil War, or mention the election, or something as an alternative

• removed the sentence and rephrased the following one

• The long citation in the sources for Eiselein gives p. 396 as the applicable one, while p. 395 is cited in the references. Which page is the correct one?

• Both, 395 is the page cited in the body.

• Not relevant to the GA criteria, but I'm having trouble figuring out why this article is tagged for the Classical Music WikiProject.

• Prior version mentioned a non-notable classical music adaptation, de-tagged.

That's it from me, I believe. Short, but a quality article. Hog Farm _Bacon 19:14, 4 November 2020 (UTC)

• Thanks, Hog Farm, the above addressed. w.r.t. short, Agreed, but I was suprised at being able to write a 1000 word article on a 32 word poem :P Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 19:41, 4 November 2020 (UTC)