Talk:The Wall/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:28, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

I will begin reviewing this article and make straightforward changes as I go (explanations in edit summaries). Please revert any changes I make where I inadvertently change the meaning. I will post queries below. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:28, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

represented by the metaphorical "Wall" of the album title - I thought it was a bit higher profile than that - "symbolic"?

Symbolic might suggest that the wall, as seen on the album cover, actually existed. It only existed in Pink's mind, and in concert. Parrot of Doom 19:29, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

as Gilmour refused to perform the band's usual twelve-bar blues encore. - did this occur on the same night? if it occurred before the spitting incident, then "as Gilmour had refused (or had been refusing) to perform the band's usual twelve-bar blues encore." is probably better (pluperfect tense)

It happened on the same night. Gilmour just wondered off into the crowd, pissed off. Parrot of Doom 19:29, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

an escalating financial situation became critical - odd wording

The critical aspect refers to the situation. I agree it sounds a bit odd, what about "the band's finances were in dire straits"? Parrot of Doom 19:29, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Hahaha, what would Mark Knopfler say? But, yes, sounds better. Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:33, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

heh, its a compliment :) It might be slightly idiomatic but my brain is too fried to think of something else right now. Parrot of Doom 19:34, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Ezrin later related the band's alarm at this method of working—they apparently viewed the erasure of material from the twenty-four track as "witchcraft". - hmm, why? Deft wizardry or weirdness is the allusion?

I don't think the band were quite used to having so many tracks available. What Ezrin was doing was basically running a dub of the mixed drums onto two tracks, and deleting all the individual drum tracks (retained on another master tape). Previously, they'd been used to economising space in a different fashion, but certainly not by deleting material. Tape used to be extremely expensive. Parrot of Doom 19:54, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Alright. Interesting - the context isn't conveyed in the text as is, so you might wanna explain. Not a deal-breaker for GA but I think this isn't too far off FAC really..Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:40, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

When it came, bright blue and white lights would suddenly illuminate him, astonishing the audience - odd construction (last three words anyway) and possibly a little presumptive. Not a deal-breaker for GA though.

With the Film section - it looks a little slim as is, maybe a line or two on the band members' views on it and its relationship with the album (?)

To conclude - passes GA, the above last bits are more of a shove towards FAC, which I think it isn't too far off. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:44, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, I'll certainly look at the above points. I've got Gunpowder Plot and Dick Turpin to get to FA first though (The Final Cut (album) looks as though its about to be archived from FAC) Parrot of Doom 14:10, 21 November 2009 (UTC)