Talk:The Sea of Monsters/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Warrior4321 (talk) 03:26, 30 September 2009 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

In Depth Review

Weasel words

• Like the previous book, this novel too is of the fantasy genre.[3] It is considered fast paced,[4] and a blend of the themes of acceptance and family love.[5] It is thought to be humorous, and full of action.[4] By whom?

   Fixed Removed. Pmlineditor^Talk 08:41, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

   Not fixed Did you remove it, because I can still see it...? warrior4321 17:25, 3 October 2009 (UTC)

  Just a question: is the whole phrase weasel? Pmlineditor removed "considered" and "thought to be". Airplaneman ^talk 05:05, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

  Which are the weasel words per WP:WEASEL. The intro to the synopsis of The Lightning Thief is written in a similar fashion. Pmlineditor ∞ 05:20, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

   Fixed Reworded and weasels removed. Airplaneman ^talk 21:28, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

The weasel words are still there. Please see WP:AWW for more details. warrior4321 02:27, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

I cannot locate them :(. Where exactly are they? Thanks, Airplaneman ^talk 03:41, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

Please give examples of such words. "This book is fast paced" cannot be weasel. It has a ref and the tone looks ok to me. If weasel words are in somewhere else, I need to know that in order to fix. Pmlineditor ∞ 11:52, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

Like the previous book, this novel too is of the fantasy genre.[3] It is fast paced,[4] humorous, full of action,[4] and a blend of the themes of acceptance and family love.

are the sentences which contain weasel words. As WP:AWW says

• Who says that?
• When do they say it? Now? At the time of writing?
• How many people think it? How many is some?
• What kind of people think it? Where are they?
• What kind of bias might they have?
• Why is this of any significance?

Weasel words do not really give a neutral point of view; they just spread hearsay, or couch personal opinion in vague, indirect syntax. It is better to put a name to an opinion than it is to assign it to an anonymous or vague-to-the-point-of-being-meaningless source. warrior4321 20:50, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

I've changed it to "Reviewers consider it to be fast paced,[4] humorous, full of action,[4] and a blend of the themes of acceptance and family love.[5]" if that is ok. Pmlineditor ∞ 08:02, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

Plot

• The plot section is too long compared to the other sections.

   Fixed Shortened to 342 words. Airplaneman ^talk 22:04, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

Images

• Image looks good. Try adding alt text.

   Fixed Added "Percy, Clarisse, and Annabeth escaping Polyphemus" Airplaneman ^talk 22:22, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

Disambiguation

• Kronos is a wikilink to a disambiguation page.

   Fixed Pmlineditor^Talk 08:38, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

• Percy in infobox is a disambiguation link

   Fixed Airplaneman ^talk 02:37, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

References

• Reference 6 is dead.

   Fixed Pmlineditor^Talk 08:34, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

• Why is reference 8 a reliable source?

  Official website of the Mark Twain Awards. Pmlineditor ∞ 12:33, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

• Is rickriordan a RS? It is used for all of the awards, might be better to use other references.

  Re below.

• Sequel section has no references

  Read WP:MOSFICTION. Plots don't need cites, however, I'll try to do that.

   Fixed Pmlineditor ∞ 12:30, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

• Refs lack details, e.g. ref 3 - no idea what it is, by looking at the ref, '"The Sea of Monsters". Retrieved 2009-09-20." - what is it? a book, a mag, a website? who wrote it? when? etc

   Fixed Pmlineditor ∞ 08:41, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

• more independent sources would be good. the criticism they've used has B&N and Amazon; both of those are not independent sources. Maybe you can find some reviews in newspapers and stuff?

  I'll try but you'll see that sources available for this book are pretty few. The majority of sources that are offline aren't available here. Nevertheless, I'll try and look for sources.

• The only reference used for the awards is the author's website. Provide more reliable sources for all the awards.

   Doing... Pmlineditor ∞ 12:30, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

•  Done - looks like he's done! :) Airplaneman ^talk 21:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)

Single sentences

• There are a few sentences that are composed of one or two lines only. Please expand these sentences or remove the sentences.

  Which section, which part? I'll try to do this on the entire article though. Pmlineditor ∞ 05:21, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

  I see, although some ideas are not worth combining. I'll see what I can do. Airplaneman ^talk 21:39, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

   Fixed Pmlineditor ∞ 08:26, 31 October 2009 (UTC)

Audiobook

• who is "Jesse Bernstein"? Any more info on that?

  Neither important nor notable.

  According to the imbd, he's an actor. He doesn't currently have a wiki article, but I don't see why we can't include it. He read The Lightning Thief's audiobook, too, as mentioned in the article. Airplaneman ^talk 02:37, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

  So, can we get some information about him then? warrior4321 05:20, 17 October 2009 (UTC)

•  FixedAirplaneman ^talk 21:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)

Capitals

• "Awards and Nominations" shouldn't be cap-N

   Fixed Airplaneman ^talk 02:27, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Characters

• Why are they in bold?

  They are in bold in order to better distinguish their names from the rest of the text. I don't think the use of it is excessive. What is your take? Airplaneman ^talk 02:42, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

It is not a Wikipedia standard to use ”'bold”' in this manner; in fact, it would be preferable to rewrite this section in prose-format, rather than as a list. See MOS:BOLD. warrior4321 03:05, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

I'm not so sure that's a good idea. It is a listing of the main characters with brief descriptions of each and their role played in the book. Rewriting the section in prose would defeat the section's purpose, which is to list the main characters. Maybe they could be italicized? (I'd have to change the format in The Lightning Thief too then so they match ;)). Airplaneman ^talk 19:16, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

This is what I was talking about when I meant "prose-format". warrior4321 22:26, 20 October 2009 (UTC)

 Fixed - Ah, ok. I'll go around to the other articles and do the same! Airplaneman ^talk 21:29, 21 October 2009 (UTC)

Looks a bit choppy, no? Airplaneman ^talk 21:52, 21 October 2009 (UTC)

Can more information be added about each? warrior4321 22:32, 30 October 2009 (UTC)

•  Fixed Pmlineditor ∞ 08:26, 31 October 2009 (UTC)

Lead

• Sequel to the lightning thief not mentioned in lead
• He is thirteen years old, not mentioned in lead
• The lead is not an adequate summary
• Lots of stuff mentioned in lead not mentioned in article

  Looks like the stuff is  Fixed Airplaneman ^talk 02:42, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Good work, but what about the audiobook and the next sequel? warrior4321 02:56, 8 October 2009 (UTC)

Oh, that's the stuff. Will fix soon! Airplaneman ^talk 00:25, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

 Fixed Airplaneman ^talk 00:29, 9 October 2009 (UTC)

I'll finish fixing by the weekend. Pmlineditor ∞ 16:14, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

• Everything has been done. :) Pmlineditor ∞ 08:26, 31 October 2009 (UTC)

Passed warrior4321 23:09, 1 November 2009 (UTC)