Talk:The Last Hope: Dead Zone Survival/GA1
GA Review edit
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Vaticidalprophet (talk · contribs) 20:44, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
This article has potential, but there are significant issues:
- The prose needs thorough copyediting. There are many basic grammar mistakes, such as omitted apostrophes, and MOS errors such as misused tense (see MOS:TENSE and WP:FICTENSE).
- Some of the statements aren't backed up by the cited source. For instance, while I was able to find confirmation VG is Moldovan, it's not on Metacritic. Similarly, "Eve/Eva" is only referred to as "Eva" by Digital Foundry and GameRevolution (Eurogamer and the Escapist mention she's known by both, but neither are cited, and it's probably more natural to footnote this and call her the more commonly-used name in text), and the idea that framerate "constantly" drops to 15 isn't in the review.
- Concerningly, some sources are misunderstood or misrepresented. For instance, the line
The games eShop banner itself was pointed out to have Ellie on it, with the serial number filed off
doesn't seem to understand that file off the serial numbers is a saying referring to copycat products rather than a literal description of what VG did. - There are omitted sources that give unique coverage, such as Eurogamer and The Escapist.
I came here intending to do a full review despite these. While these are serious issues, this article genuinely has potential. Having said that -- I don't think, having laid these out and thought about them more, that a GA review is the right place to fix them. The prose needs to be substantially reworked, and it's probably best to bring in a third copyeditor for that. I've added some cleanup tags for the issues I've brought up, and it occurred to me while doing so that there were enough of them for serious enough reasons for the article to fit quickfail criteria.
Having said that, I think post-copyediting and expansion, this really could be a GA. I'd be happy to take another look in the near future and to help you with anything to do with the GA process. Vaticidalprophet 20:44, 5 August 2023 (UTC)