Talk:The Irishman/GA1
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Lizzy150 (talk · contribs) 11:44, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Hello! I'll be reviewing this article which you've nominated for GA. So far, it's looking good and all the editors have done a great job! Just Lizzy(talk) 11:44, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
General feedback
- Article is reasonably well written. There's a few copyedits and word changes that I'll make myself later.
- Appears to be sufficient sources. References 38, 53, 73 have not been formatted correctly though.
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 15:16, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
- Stable - yes
- Illustrated - yes
- Neutral / Broad - mostly yes, as long as proposed changes below are met
I'm going to jump straight to the following sections..
Production design
- This paragraph is pretty much just two quotes from Variety, so perhaps just write it in your own words? For example: "Filming last 108 days, in 117 different locations and up to 160 actors..." - and then just add the source at the end.
- Same goes for the second quote by the producer. You should also write [Assistant Director] and [Director of Photography] next to AD and DP.
- Perhaps merge this section with the costume design section, as they're quite short?
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:56, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Costume design
- As mentioned, try to merge this section with the above, or even with the Filming section, because "250 characters and 6,500 extras" isn't really related about costume design.
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:56, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Filming
- "A posture coach was brought on set to offer tips" - perhaps rephrase that to: "A posture coach was hired to instruct De Niro..."
- The last paragraph - I'd be inclined to remove this part: "Ben Sherlock, writing for Screen Rant, reports that" - and just dive straight into the facts. "Scorsese envisioned the film as having an "old-fashioned" look."
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:56, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Editing
- This is also another short section, try merging it.
- "Bill Desowitz, writing for IndieWire, stated that..." - this sentence just praises the editing without offering much substance. I'd remove that.
- Partially done. I think the last part "...slamming the titles in front of the audience (describing how various mob characters die) was a way of showing that being part of the Mafia is not a good idea" merits inclusion giving how often this happened throughout the film. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:56, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Visual effects
- "Nicholas Rapold, writing for Film Comment, gave the de-aging CGI approach used in the filming a mixed assessment.." - this is a review of the visual effects and shouldn't be here
- "was further made evident during the award season" - try to avoid talking about awards here
- The quote ""Once again technology caught up.." - you might be able to put that in your own words
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:56, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Financing and budget
- Do you think this section should be higher up in the Production section, eg. below Development?
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:56, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Industry response
- I'd be tempted to merge this with the critical response section
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 20:56, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
Thanks for the quick turnaround - here's my final comments:
Writing section
- "Chip Fleischer, the publisher of the book, wrote a detailed reply" - does that mean Fleischer defended/upheld his book? I'm not sure if "detailed reply" gives us that info. In fact, that whole sentence might need to be split just to make it easier to uderstand.
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 16:08, 29 March 2020 (UTC)
Filming
- "accomplished by using "a series of lookup tables" for each scene" - what is a series of lookup tables?
- Done. Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 16:08, 29 March 2020 (UTC)
Thanks, Just Lizzy(talk) 11:59, 29 March 2020 (UTC)
Great, I've made a couple of edits just to avoid repetition in the filming section. I've done a little reshuffle in the critical response section, and reduced the amount of over-linking to wiki articles. If you have any objections, then feel free to let me know. Otherwise we're good to go! Thanks for your work. Just Lizzy(talk) 14:10, 30 March 2020 (UTC)