Talk:The Art of Elysium

Edit request

Please add the following logo to the article's infobox: The Art of Elysium Logo.png. Thank you. E-Stylus (talk) 11:31, 14 October 2019 (UTC)

Reply 14-OCT-2019

  Unable to implement  

• The file could not be added to the article because the files's non-free content criteria policy numbers #1 and #2 have not been entered into the summary section of the file's media data page. This includes giving a specific non-free use rationale for the item.
• Non-free content — including all copyrighted images that lack a free content license — may be used on the English Wikipedia only where all 10 of the non-free content criteria are met. Having that information documented in the summary section of the file's media data page is important in demonstrating that the file is allowed for use.

Regards,  Spintendo  16:52, 14 October 2019 (UTC)

Edit request

Please add the following logo to the article's infobox: The Art of Elysium Logo.png. The file summary has been updated per WP:NFCCP and WP:NFURG. Thank you. E-Stylus (talk) 08:12, 16 October 2019 (UTC)

Reply 16-OCT-2019

  Edit request implemented    Spintendo  16:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)

@Spintendo: Thank you for adding the logo. E-Stylus (talk) 00:33, 17 October 2019 (UTC)

Template Message

Hi DGG - Per WP:TC, can you provide context as to the article content that appears to read like a press release or news article in order to facilitate improvement? Also pinging Jovanmilic97, the article's AfC reviewer, for any additional advice. Thank you. E-Stylus (talk) 03:26, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

I hoped you;dask, so this can be improved as it deserves.

1. Wording, both trite and unnecessary: Sentences like "TAOE develops and facilitates monthly workshops in fashion, film/theater, music, and visual arts for communities facing challenges, while also rendering career resources for participating volunteer artists""developed and facilities" should be "runs"; "communities facing challenges " should be "hospitals and homeless shelters" . "presented to select artists for creative merit and community service" is not needed at all. And what's the difference between the Visionary award and Spirit of Elysium awards? And why does the table need to be sortable?Itmakes considerable overhead for those using screen readers.
2. Namedropping: "The platform would feature later....
3. General wordiness (not that this characterizes only promotional articlea, but it usually does characterise promotional articles: "with art-based projects such as poetry, plays, films, and art installation" should be "with poetry, plays, films, and art installation". The sentence "The following month, in January 2016, TAOE partnered with SAG-AFTRA and the American Film Institute to support President Obama's "Call to Arts" initiative to complete 1 million hours of mentorship for young artists " should be "in January 2016, TAOE partnered with SAG-AFTRA and the American Film Institute to complete 1 million hours of mentorship for young artists"

More generally. You are a paid editor. I am not. If you are going to justify being paid to write articles, you should be writing better articles. I'll give an declared paid editor my help at first, because I do not like to turn anyone away, but by now you should have learned. You cannot pay me for the assistance i give, but I'm giving my free assistance so you can earn money, and you canot expect me to want to continue that sort of a situation. DGG ( talk ) 10:13, 31 December 2019 (UTC)

Hi DGG - Thank you for your input.

1a. Revised "develops and facilitates" to "develops and runs". The word "develops" is relevant because the organization's volunteer artists can develop new workshops or participate in existing programs based on their field. These programs are then run by various artists. The organization's workshops are primarily for people, not for institutions. The wording "communities facing challenges" was used to summarize groups of people that share a particular challenging characteristic in common. The groups noted in the body of the article include hospitalized children, special-needs children, the elderly, and homeless individuals.

just to explain further: conciseness is important in an encyclopedia. one word to express the general activity is enough. I change phrases like this in every article I work on where I notice. Anyway, from what you say, the organization develops, but individuals run--so it should just be develops. Another choice is "organizes" . If I were a paid edit, then, realizing that as a paid editor some people here will look for any possible problems, I'd make the articles as modest as possible; but of course, anyone with training in PR would automatic do the opposite, and perhaps the client would accept it. . And one piece of good advice to any editor: you will have less trouble if you do not ague about details that someone takes exception to. DGG ( talk ) 06:29, 1 January 2020 (UTC)

1b. Revised wording for the organization's awards. Also, revised the award recipient table to non-sortable.

2. Removed artists' names for platform video series.  

3. Removed wording "art-based projects such as". Also, removed "President Obama's Call to Arts initiative" from the body of the article. E-Stylus (talk) 02:08, 1 January 2020 (UTC)