Talk:Tarja Turunen/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 03:05, 28 October 2011 (UTC)

Since the original review was abandoned, I will review this swiftly, since it was left at GAN way too long. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:05, 28 October 2011 (UTC)

Here's what I found:

• Start of early life doesn't need the full name, can just be last, but I'm not too picky on that.
• "in the town administration, her father" and her father.
• "At Christmas break 1996 former classmate Tuomas Holopainen invited" I'd reword, perhaps just "In December 1996, former classmate.."
• "Holopainen decided to form Nightwish as a metal band. He later explained that the band members had gradually realised that Turunen's voice had become too dramatic for acoustic mood music. They came to the conclusion that the music had to be massive too. In this way Turunen was a major influence on the musical style of Nightwish." The first two sentences can be combined, and the last sentence feels oddly written, almost like out of a report. Honestly it could probably just be removed since he pretty much get that in the preceding sentences.
• Make sure after years there's a comma for most of the paragraphs in the section. Same for the Independent career section.
• "The success of the first album came as a surprise to everyone." should be cited, and if not should be removed since it doesn't fit into the paragraph all that well.
• "During the Wishmaster World Tour Turunen met the Argentine Marcelo Cabuli while staying in Buenos Aires in 2000. They later married." comma after Tour, combine the married sentence into the first, and note a date/year if you can.
• "was the biggest selling album in all of Europe in July, 2004." best selling, and remove comma after July.
• "she wanted to leave the band but agreed to record one more album" comma after band
• Most of the paragraphs start with dates, and while it's okay, it does get repetitive to see date after date start off. Try moving them around and making the sentences more dynamic if you can.
• "In spite of speculation to the contrary at the time, Turunen did not focus entirely on classical music after the separation of Nightwish." this sentence doesn't really fit and can be removed (nothing prior in the article hinted at what the sentence mentions)
• "Since August 2006 she worked on her next solo album," In August 2006, she
• "Turunen always sings with classical vocal technique." always can be removed, feels repetitive.

I'll put this article on hold for seven days. Due to the length of time this has already been going, I do not plan to extend this, so hopefully everything can be completed in that time. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:43, 29 October 2011 (UTC)

Have worked on that. --Pass3456 (talk) 23:40, 29 October 2011 (UTC)

Looks good. I'll give this a read-through tomorrow to make sure everything's good, and hopefully it'll pass. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 02:51, 30 October 2011 (UTC)

Everything checks out now, so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 22:55, 30 October 2011 (UTC)