Talk:Tapestry (Star Trek: The Next Generation)/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Miyagawa in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Johanna (talk · contribs) 00:01, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
Second on my "to review" list. Johanna(talk to me!) 00:01, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
- Comments
- I am guessing that this was not your upload, but I would remove that non-free file unless you can tell me why it's necessary.
- Can you add running time to the infobox?
- This is not a necessity, but I would replace the em dashes in the guest actors part with "as"
- "Nielsen ratings of 13.8 percent were received..." The phrasing of this sentence is rather poor.
- I find "writing and premise" to be a bit redundant, as the premise is included in the writing process.
- It's a bit strange to go from the first sentence to "Moore's original premise" which makes it sound like the two are entirely different.
- "it had to be trimmed" What had to be cut down, and why?
- Copyedit the second paragraph of "writing"
- "Producer Jeri Taylor" Be more specific about the "it" later in the sentence.
- I would put all the stuff about Brandy in the same paragraph.
- "get together" is very informal.
- "However this scene did feature" rephrase
- What members of the crew made this comparison.
- I know what you mean, but say something different than "white scenes"
- "could be perceived like that" rephrase
- Can you put a critical consensus at the top of the "critical reception" section?
- It was not immediately clear to me what DeCandido novel had to do with the episode until the next sentence, so could you condense that portion into one sentence?
- Why is "The Morton Report" reliable?
- It was created by Eric Olsen and Andrew Morton (the former still acting as editor). Therefore it has the required editorial oversight. Miyagawa (talk) 21:32, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
- @Miyagawa: That's all I have. I will definitely pass after these are cleared up. Johanna(talk to me!) 19:19, 28 March 2016 (UTC)
- @Johanna: I think that was everything. Let me know if there's anything else. Miyagawa (talk) 21:32, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
- @Miyagawa: Wonderful. Pass. If you plan on taking this to FA (which I would recommend) I would just have a copyedit (GOCE or self) done beforehand. Nice work! Johanna(talk to me!) 21:35, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
- @Johanna: I think that was everything. Let me know if there's anything else. Miyagawa (talk) 21:32, 29 March 2016 (UTC)