Talk:Swine (Lady Gaga song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 06:25, 23 December 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• was inspired by Gaga's → was inspired by the singer's (word repetition)

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:57, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• when she was 19, by an unnamed → when she was 19 by an unidentified (no comma)

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:59, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• Set comma after "Throughout the song"

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:59, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• comparing them → isn't the typo wrong here?

• What do you mean? ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:22, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• Link bulimia to Bulimia nervosa

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:59, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• on Gaga, onstage. → no comma here

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 17:59, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• (along with Gaga's "Til It Happens to You") → Remove the brackets and put this after "The Haunting Ground" with a comma + add year of release for "Til It Happens to You" in brackets

Infobox

• flawless ;)

Background and writing

• Development of Lady Gaga's → no full names

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:03, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• her second one → you can state "her second record" here

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:03, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• which Gaga explained → state "the singer's" here to avoid word repetition

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:03, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• Gaga recalled → same as above

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:03, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• emotional therapy ... I wasn't even → ... to [...]

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:03, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• happened ... I saw → ... to [...]

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:03, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

Recording and composition

• Bradley Stern described the music → state "saw the music" here to avoid word repetition

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:15, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• key of G minor with → set comma before "with"

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:15, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• Lyrically, the song → use "recording" here to avoid word repetition

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:15, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• comparing them → same as in the lead
• chorus is reached with Gaga belting → chorus is reached, with her belting

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:15, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• shouting: "You're just → replace : with ,

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:15, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• pig inside..." → pig inside [...]"

• I removed the "..." altogether. Doesn't seem necessary. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:15, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

Critical reception

• wrote of the song: "It's a → replace : with ,

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:25, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• describing Gaga's belting of the lyrics, and the sounds from the keyboards, as reminiscent of → describing Gaga's belting of the lyrics and the sounds from the keyboards being reminiscent of

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:25, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• long... → long [...]

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:25, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

Live performances

• one-minute "teaser" → no need of the "" here

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• Gaga's show at the iTunes Festival → State "The singer's" here to avoid word repetition

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• at the South by Southwest (SXSW) music festival in Austin, Texas → place this after "Swine" for better flow

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• then invited performance → which was followed by her inviting performance

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• reported: → reported,

• I think we should definitely keep the colon since the quote starts with a new paragraph. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• complained that the performance → state "the show" here to avoid word repetition

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• told MTV News: "I can → replace : with ,

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• Gaga told Today → Gaga confessed to Today (word rep.)

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:12, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

• Unlink Artpop

• Done. Now says, "Credits adapted from the album's liner notes." ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:05, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

Charts

• flawless ;)

Other stuff

Copy-violation

• 50.0% is WAY too much! Please look for the first two sources at the top of the list and reduce the content from them in the article's body

Images and others

• Images perfectly illustrate the article

Links

• No problems here!

References

• Please avoid WP:SHOUTING in refs 2, 5, 10, 12, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20, 21 and 31!

• Done. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 18:07, 24 December 2016 (UTC)

• As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article.
• 2 dead links!! Please fix this!

Outcome

•  On hold for 7 days. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 15:47, 24 December 2016 (UTC)
  • @Cartoon network freak: all ready to go. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 13:56, 25 December 2016 (UTC)
    • Passing! Cartoon network freak (talk) 17:54, 25 December 2016 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.