Talk:Sustainable wildlife enterprise

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Latest comment: 13 years ago by JennyKS in topic Comments

Comments

edit

Here's a start of what stands out to me that needs addressing:

  • Seems to be filled with WP:Peacock terms? (not sure about this one)
  • Only presents one point of view (Australia's). Mentions "experiences in countries such as South Africa and Scotland". Why not include those as well?
  • Usually, lead sections don't contain references. Lead sections summarize the entire article.
  • "Why native resources?" Section title isn't exactly encyclopedic. Perhaps "Background" or something similar?
    • "Until primary production systems can put a value on habitat and conservation areas then we will see more and more species loss." (emphasis added)
    • "Furthermore, native species are well adapted to Australia’s unique environment, allowing them to survive climatic extremes and thrive with little impact to the environment." Sounds more like an essay. Suggest this: Native species that are well adapted to Australia's unique environment allow them to survive the climatic extremes and thrive with little impact to the environment.
  • "Overseas experiences" Again, section title is not very encyclopedic. Perhaps merge into previous section? Rationale: If I lived in South Africa or Scotland, those experiences wouldn't be "oversea".

Again, this is just the beginning of the items I see needing to be addressed. Perhaps start there? – Ajltalk 01:02, 25 March 2011 (UTC)Reply


  • Thank you for starting to look at this. I will keep working on the Peacock terms (still working out what they are) but I agree and have made changes against your suggestions. See what you think.JennyKS (talk) 03:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)Reply