Talk:Supermarine S.4/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Zawed in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 09:16, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
I will review this, comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 09:16, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
Lead
- The Schneider Trophy teams already at Bay Shore Park, Baltimore prior to the 1925 contest were adversely affected by the cold, windy weather conditions, and the S.4’s rear end was damaged by a falling pole during a gale.: the amount of exposition here is probably unnecessary for the lead. Suggest condensing to: "At Bay Shore Park in Baltimore, the venue of the 1925 contest, the S.4’s rear end was damaged by a falling pole during a gale prior to the event."
- Agreed, done. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:15, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
- trials on 23rd October the use of ordinal numbers here is inconsistent with the date presentation used elsewhere. Also, ordinal number is used in the infobox.
- Whoops! Now sorted. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:21, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
- No antecedence for Biard
- Sorted. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:25, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
Design and development
- The radiators were the only part of the machine to protrude.: this sentence needs a bit of work to make clear what is meant, which I think is that the radiators were proud of the fuselage?
- Sentence amended, hopefully now clearer. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:31, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
Operational history
- Biard was reportedly unhappy: as per lead, no context as to who Biard is at this point, it is only later that he is mentioned as being the pilot.
- Text amended. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:38, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
- was able to resurface from the sea bed, and was able to cling: suggest "was able to resurface from the sea bed and cling" to avoid repeated usage of "was able to"
- Sorted. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:39, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
- I note the specifications section mentions a max speed of 239 mph - should this be worked into this section somewhere?
Legacy
- Suggest integrating the standalone sentence regarding the Macchi with the 1st para by placing it to follow the first sentence
- Done, it now looks better. Amitchell125 (talk) 20:20, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
References & Sources
- Refs 5 and 6 can be consolidated
That's it for me. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:32, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
- @Zawed: Comments all now addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 20:23, 5 January 2023 (UTC)
- This appears to be all in order so am passing as GA as I believe that it meets the necessary criteria. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 06:20, 6 January 2023 (UTC)