Talk:Superman: Escape from Krypton/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Khazar2 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Moswento (talk · contribs) 18:49, 16 March 2013 (UTC)
- Hello! I'll be reviewing this one in the next few days. Looking forward to it! Moswento talky 18:49, 16 March 2013 (UTC)
- Yo, sorry for the delay, real life got in the way. I've looked through this one, and overall it's a great article. Covers the main aspects of the ride's history and experience competently with well-written text and good referencing and research. There aren't problems with neutrality or plagiarism, from what I can see. I have listed a few generally minor questions about the text and references below - it looks like a long list because I don't copyedit as I review, but it's not that much! Feel free to disagree with any of my points, especially if it has a question mark next to it, and then we can discuss. Otherwise, pending replies to my comments, I'd be happy to promote this to GA. Keep up the good work with these coaster articles. Moswento talky 14:01, 21 March 2013 (UTC)
- Just a quick note to say great work on improvements so far - and collaboration is always good to see! I'll look through the changes you've made once you've got to the end of the list. Keep up the good work! Moswento talky 18:52, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- Sorry for the delay in finishing this review - been on an unexpected Wikibreak. Thank you for addressing my points below - I'm now satisfied that this article meets the GA criteria. The text and references have both improved, and there are no outstanding issues I can see. Congratulations and keep up the good work! Moswento talky 16:07, 13 April 2013 (UTC)
- Yo, sorry for the delay, real life got in the way. I've looked through this one, and overall it's a great article. Covers the main aspects of the ride's history and experience competently with well-written text and good referencing and research. There aren't problems with neutrality or plagiarism, from what I can see. I have listed a few generally minor questions about the text and references below - it looks like a long list because I don't copyedit as I review, but it's not that much! Feel free to disagree with any of my points, especially if it has a question mark next to it, and then we can discuss. Otherwise, pending replies to my comments, I'd be happy to promote this to GA. Keep up the good work with these coaster articles. Moswento talky 14:01, 21 March 2013 (UTC)
- Congrats from me too! -- Khazar2 (talk) 16:09, 13 April 2013 (UTC)
- Lead
- I wonder if it's worth putting "(originally known as Superman: The Escape)" in the opening sentence?
- "built by Intamin" - this also needs to be mentioned in the first History section of the article
- " the tallest and tied for the fastest " - "tallest and joint fastest"?
- "but was delayed due to several issues with the launch system." - maybe you could clarify that it was the launch system that was at fault in the History section of the article
- "The refurbished ride opened on March 19, 2011" - you don't need the footnote here
- I think the lead could do with a bit more about the ride experience
Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 19:25, 22 March 2013 (UTC)
- The lead could also do with information about the ride's current Record status
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 19:25, 22 March 2013 (UTC)
- History, Part I
- "Originally known as Superman: The Escape" - why the italics here?
- "the first roller coaster to reach 100 miles per hour (160 km/h)" - to put this claim into context, what was the previous record? (The Kentucky New Era article has the details)
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 19:30, 22 March 2013 (UTC)
- "After Superman opened, the media claimed Superman as the fastest roller coaster in the world" - rephrase e.g. "After its opening, the media claimed Superman to be the fastest roller coaster in the world".
- "100 miles per hour (160 km/h) launch" - should be "100 mile per hour launch" - I don't think the Convert template accepts singular versions, so might have to write the conversion manually
- "opened about a month earlier" - "had opened" would be a better tense here
- "As a result of being delayed, Superman lost its claim" -"As a result of being delayed" repeats the previous sentence. Perhaps "Superman therefore lost its claim"?
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:09, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- "it was then tied with Tower of Terror as the fastest roller coasters in the world" - "fastest roller coaster" singular
- "In June 2004, Superman: The Escape was temporarily shut down due to an incident on Superman – Ride of Steel" - I think you need to explain explicitly why this resulted in Superman: The Escape being shut down. Also, any idea of how "temporarily" this shut down was?
- I don't know how long the shut down was but I added better links and information.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 19:37, 22 March 2013 (UTC)
- "A sign posted in front of the ride indicated...with hints indicating that" - you could avoid the repetition here by just saying "with hints that..."
- "sister ride" - sister ride in what sense?
- It's explained how similar they are.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 19:38, 22 March 2013 (UTC)
- "A Los Angeles Times report on August 3, 2010 stated that Superman: The Escape would undergo a major refurbishment for the 2011 season." - this is unnecessary, because this is a report based on the aforementioned sign, so this sentence doesn't add anything new
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:16, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- History, Part II
- "re themeing" - "re-theming"
- "in addition to two new roller coasters" - "in addition to the construction of two new roller coasters"?
- "the ride would be renamed to Superman: Escape from Krypton and would feature new backwards launching cars and a new color scheme." - as this actually happened, can you remove the conditional tense here, i.e. "was renamed to...featured..."?
- "reopened" - you switch between "re-open" and "reopen" - choose one and stick with it
- "Superman: Escape from Krypton reopened when construction " - "The ride reopened..." (to avoid repetition)
- "due to the park's latest roller coaster, Full Throttle." - "to enable the construction of the park's latest coaster?"
- "It's supports" - "Its supports"
- "will be installed " - if Superman has reopened, is this still the right tense? Have they been installed or not? If you're not sure, find a way of avoiding the future tense.
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:18, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- "where Superman's entrance is at." - "is located"
- " opens Summer 2013" - "opens in Summer 2013"
- Ride and experience
- "is imprinted and now painted " - I'm not sure what this means - is it that it was imprinted, but is now painted?
- Yes, the shape has always been there but it wasn't painted. It is now painted after the refurbishment.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:20, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- " Superman's Fortress of Solitude." - I would add an explanatory word or two for readers who don't know what the "Fortress of Solitude" is.
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:21, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- " that can take Superman's powers away." - "that can take away Superman's powers"
- "tries to recreate" - the phrasing here suggests it "tries...but fails!" Just "recreates" would be fine, I would have thought.
- "While in the planning stages, the ride was going to be named Velocetron and themed as The Man of Steel." - Why isn't this mentioned in the History section? Seems relevant there.
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:25, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- "would have had ancient ruins and have a giant laser. " - the second "have" is unnecessary
- "There is page on display " - "There is a page on display"?
- "in the Sky Tower " - You haven't explained what the "Sky Tower" is
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:28, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- "Before the launch, the ride operator sometimes says, "You will escape from Krypton in 3, 2, 1." - this reads like original research to me. Do you have a source to say that s/he says this, and that it is only said sometimes?
- Removed sentence.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:33, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- " Linear Synchronous Motors" - You should probably explain the significance of this, including the fact that it was one of the first (as per the lead), and how this is different to other coasters.
- "experience 4.5 Gs" - to help readers unfamiliar with this term, maybe "experience a g-force of 4.5"
- "the 415 feet (126 m)" - there's a word missing here - the 415 feet something
- " before slightly stopping" - what does "slightly stopping" mean? Decelerating?
- Well the train has to come to a slight stop before it falls back down. You can see that in the POV.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 15:20, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- "After the ride was refurbished, new "streamlined" vehicles with the Superman logo were introduced. In addition, the new vehicles have lower-profile sides for a more open-air feeling" - I think you meant to reference this to footnote 1, not footnote 14
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 23:30, 24 March 2013 (UTC)
- "The new ones were built where the park would run one side forward and one side backwards after a few months, giving riders the ability to choose" - This needs rephrasing, it's a bit confusing at the moment. I'm not 100% sure what you mean, so I can't offer a suggested alternative.
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 23:23, 24 March 2013 (UTC)
- "When the ride opened, the entire structure was painted white" - do you have a source for this?
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 23:19, 24 March 2013 (UTC)
- "the top 1/3" - "the top third" (in full)
- Records
- "In 2001, the speed record was taken by Dodonpa in Japan." - worth mentioning what the new record was
- References
- Footnotes 7, 18, 19, 20, 21 - what makes The Coaster Guy a reliable source, rather than just a self-published blog by an enthusiastic amateur?
- Reliable sources for roller coaster articles can be very hard to find and most of the time we have to rely on industry sites. From my experience, I've never encountered anything to be wrong on his subject and I know he works with the park from time to time.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 22:11, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for your reply - I'm still not convinced, but as this is outside my area of expertise, I'll take this to the Reliable Sources noticeboard. Moswento talky 13:03, 25 March 2013 (UTC)
- Reliable sources for roller coaster articles can be very hard to find and most of the time we have to rely on industry sites. From my experience, I've never encountered anything to be wrong on his subject and I know he works with the park from time to time.-- Astros4477 (Talk) 22:11, 23 March 2013 (UTC)
- I'm also skeptical as to whether it's a reliable source pending evidence that is recognized as an expert in the field. Fortunately, though, maybe we can just avoid the issue. The claims the source is supporting don't appear to be the kind that need a reliable source under the GA criteria (direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged). The only possible exception I saw was the "The new trains are wider, but have three rows of four and one row of two for 14 riders per vehicle", which I suppose could be argued to be a statistic (I think it's okay, though). I might be missing a more controversial statement, though, I went through fairly quickly.
- In short, while better sources would be preferable if available, I think the source is okay in the way it's being used. Hope that helps! Thanks to both of you for your work on this one. -- Khazar2 (talk) 15:33, 1 April 2013 (UTC)
- Just to follow up on this I thought I'd say nobody had an opinion on the source at the relevant noticeboard and the discussion has now been archived here. I have however minimised the number of references to The Coaster Guy from 5 down to 2. Hopefully the remaining sources will not hold up the article's GA review. Themeparkgc Talk 00:27, 7 April 2013 (UTC)
- Footnote 8 - this needs a work/publisher
- Footnote 11 - The Los Angeles Times report gives information on the sign and is a reliable source, so I think you should replace this - images posted on forums aren't reliable sources.
- Done-- Astros4477 (Talk) 04:16, 23 March 2013 (UTC)