Talk:Stewie Goes for a Drive/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 19:16, 13 November 2011 (UTC)

I watched the episode a couple of days ago, so it's fairly fresh in my mind. J Milburn (talk) 19:16, 13 November 2011 (UTC)

• "The episode follows Peter who befriends actor Ryan Reynolds, after he moves into the house across the street from him." Rephrase?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Ryan begins to come on to Peter" Overly colloquial
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "and eventually end their friendship" they eventually end? he eventually ends?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "baby Stewie takes the family dog, Brian's, car out for a joy ride" Rephrase?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "It received mostly mixed reviews from critics for its storyline, and many cultural references." It received many cultural references?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Joe Lomonaco" worth a redlink?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• The plot section is over 600 words long. For a twenty-minute FG episode, that's very much excessive. Compare to Stark Raving Dad and Lisa the Vegetarian, the two Simpsons episodes, which have under 450 words, and Road to the Multiverse, which has under 400. I managed under 700 in Dustbin Baby (film), just a few dozen more than are used here, and that's a full-length film over four times the length of this episode! (All linked articles are FAs).
  • Done. And thank you for using an article I got to FA as an example. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "First announced at the 2011 San Diego Comic-Con International by series showrunners Steve Callaghan and Mark Hentemann,[3] the episode was written by series regular Gary Janetti,[4] who joined the series in its first season, writing "Brian: Portrait of a Dog",[5] as well as the series's landmark 150th episode "Brian & Stewie".[6]" Long and overly complex sentence.
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• Repetition of "series regular" in "Production and development"
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• Ron Jones is a dablink
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "An announcement of Reynolds' appearance in the episode was also made at the Television Critics Association's summer press tour, along with several other guest voice actors for the season.[8]" Why "also"?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "In addition to the regular cast, actor and musician Adam Alexi-Malle, actor Ralph Garman, voice actor Joe Lomonaco, voice actress Rachael MacFarlane, sister of series creator and executive producer Seth MacFarlane, actor Ryan Reynolds,[2][9] and voice actress Tara Strong guest starred in the episode." Very difficult to follow.
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Reynolds also reveals that he will be portraying Nazi leader Adolf Hitler in a film entitled Hotler, which is being filmed in Quahog rather than nearby Newport, Rhode Island.[11]" I'm not sure that really constitutes a "cultural reference"...
  • The cultural reference is to Adolf Hitler. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Stewie demands to appear" Hardly demands, if I remember correctly?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Lois also mentions Snooki from Jersey Shores." Unreferenced, badly formatted.
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• So many of the "cultural references" seem incredibly trivial; passing jokes irrelevant to the plot and of minimal value.
• "show, American Dad." A ! is needed?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• I'm not sure on what authority you make the claim "Reviews of the episode were mostly mixed, calling the storyline a "much less extreme reversal" of the season two episode "The Story on Page One", in which Peter attempts to seduce actor Luke Perry." when you cite all of two reviews.
  • Those are the only two reviews of the article, aside from a couple that are not from a well-known source. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• Formatting and links on the refs need checking. Beware undue italics (and don't just blame that awful template) and the publishers could do with linking.
  • Please give examples, and I will gladly make the changes. I see nothing wrong with the references. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• Is "Delaware Online" reliable?
  • The website is operated by the Gannett Company, the largest news company in the United States. I would say that it is. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• I wasn't impressed with the short list of sources, but a search hasn't thrown up much else of worth- this may be reliable, but I recommend doing some research first.
  • I have done proper research. Thanks. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
    • Sorry, my comment was ambiguous- I meant doing some research into that particular source if you intend to use it. Of course, for an article of this sort, we should be using every source we can. J Milburn (talk) 10:53, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
      • Done. Gage (talk) 19:36, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• I'm not really convinced that the lead image is needed. It doesn't tell us much; there's no automatic entitlement for a television episode to have a screenshot.
  • Done. Gage (talk) 02:33, 14 November 2011 (UTC)

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I'd say that this article is a fair way from GA-ready yet. J Milburn (talk) 19:53, 13 November 2011 (UTC)

Second read-through

• Joe Lomonaco just redirects to the FG article. There's no mention of him there; hardly seems appropriate.
  • Please nominate the redirect for deletion then. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
    • That's fair, I've nominated it. We'll stick with whatever the result of the discussion is. J Milburn (talk) 23:07, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• Who or what was played by Adam Alexi-Malle?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• The plot could do with a little tweaking. Perhaps the fact Peter is invited to the housewarming isn't all that important (we can just cut to the housewarming), but there seems to be a little more to it than Ryan just being not gay.
  • Done. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "take the car for a spin later that day" Collquial
  • Done. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• I'm still not keen on some of the more trivial mentions in the "cultural references" section (and I'm not completely convinced it's necessary at all) but I can see that third party sources have mentioned a lot of them.
  • Please indicate what should be removed. Gage (talk) 22:43, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
    • It was a general comment; I'm not going to ask you to remove anything in particular. Just something to bear in mind. J Milburn (talk) 23:07, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Reviews of the episode were mostly mixed" Again, based on two reviews, I don't think you can make this claim.
  • Those are the only reviews of the episode, and both reacted both positively and negatively towards the episode. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
    • If you're happy with it like that, I'm not going to force the issue. J Milburn (talk) 23:07, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• I'm really not keen on citing "Lambert, David (2011-06-24). "Family Guy - Does a Fan Site Message Board Have a List of Volume 9 DVD Contents and Extras?". TV Shows on DVD. Retrieved 2011-11-07." Do we really not have a better source for this?
  • Done. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• As I mentioned, I'm not certain on the reliability of the source- on what grounds do you consider "Neuenschwander, Andy (2011-11-07). "'Family Guy' Season 10, Episode 4 Recap - 'Stewie Goes for a Drive'". Yidio. Retrieved 2011-11-14." reliable?
  • You instructed me to add it. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
    • I very explicitly did not. I said that I had come across it, but some research would be required to judge whether or not it was reliable. J Milburn (talk) 23:07, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
      • According to their About page, it states that they have over 1.5 million registered users, and various high profile investors. I would say that it is reliable. Especially since the only thing it is referencing is itself. Gage (talk) 23:29, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
• Why have you italicised Reuters? Also, linking publishers each time they appear would probably be best.
  • Done. And according to WP:Overlinking, they should only be linked on the first occurence. Gage (talk) 22:35, 14 November 2011 (UTC)
    • That strikes me as bollocks. It's something that is often pointed out at FAC. I'll not pursue it if that's what the MoS says, but it would certainly be my preference to add more links. J Milburn (talk) 23:07, 14 November 2011 (UTC)

It's better now than it was. The small number of sources seems unavoidable, which is a shame. These episodes just don't seem to be that notable. J Milburn (talk) 21:32, 14 November 2011 (UTC)

• I believe I've addressed your concerns. Gage (talk) 22:51, 16 November 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, it's just about there. I made a final fix, as, in you wording, it was unclear who "he" referred to. I suppose the lack of sources is unavoidable- this episode is only just notable, in and of itself. I think this article's about as strong as it can be- good work. J Milburn (talk) 11:54, 18 November 2011 (UTC)