Talk:Sipuncula/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Cwmhiraeth in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 16:09, 25 February 2019 (UTC)Reply


Starting soon! --Jens Lallensack (talk) 16:09, 25 February 2019 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for taking it on. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:37, 25 February 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • The first species of this phylum was described in 1827 by the French zoologist Henri Marie Ducrotay de Blainville – but the taxonbox states that the phylum was already described by "Rafinesque, 1814"; how does this fit together, and why not mention it?
A species description is a detailed description of the type specimen and should be able to differentiate this species from others by means of the fine detail. My guess is that Rafinesque coined a name for the group in 1814 without going in to the fine detail. In fact WoRMS does not mention him at all, and I could remove his name from the taxobox. (It was there before I started working on the article.) Cwmhiraeth (talk) 11:00, 26 February 2019 (UTC)Reply
Hm, that seems to be the official authority for the name though, and not mentioning it is a relatively large hole in my opinion. I would not consider it strictly necessary for reaching GA, but if anything can be done that would be nice. This seems to be his original mention, maybe just add a sentence that he established the name and cite that work? --Jens Lallensack (talk) 16:49, 27 February 2019 (UTC)Reply
The history section came from a book source but was rubbish. I have removed it, and rewritten the taxonomy section. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:19, 27 February 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • I would try to explain and link terminology more thoroughly. Some terms, like "anterior", may be even avoided altogether. Examples include:
  • non-ciliated epidermis overlain by a cuticle – terms should be linked. Cilium is linked further down, but should be at first mention.
  • non-chitinous
  • double helix
  • extra-cellular
  • haemocytes, granulocytes
  • ciliated urn cells
  • bipolar sensory cells
  • fauveliopsid
  • A related species was later described as – when was it described? Date would be nice.
  • The specimen was provided by a friend of his, Professor Mackintosh. – Is his full name not known? If so, maybe formulate it in a way to make this clear. We usually do not add honorary titles.
  • but have a separate system from that of the rest of the introvert – system of what kind? It would really be helpful to have a word before "system" to make it more specific.
  • tentacles form a crown – what precisely is meant with crown, maybe explain a bit more for clarity? I can guess, but I still wonder how tentacles would look like that do not form a crown.
  • Hooks are often present near the mouth on the introvert – is the function of these hooks known?
  • The tentacles at the tip of the introvert – is this referring to all tentacles? If not, how do the other tentacles differ?
  • possess epidermal structures modified for boring into rock; the anal shield is near the anteriorly located – what is the link between boring and anal shield?
  • what is the anal shield? – What is an anal shield after all? It becomes a bit clearer later, but it would really be helpful to have a short definition at first mention.
  • interstitial fluid – is same as coelomic fluid? It could really go well with more explanation.
  • Although typically less than 10 cm long, some sipunculans may reach several times that length. – Maybe better place this info within the the description section? Maybe also add the smallest and largest species, if this info is available.
  • are sensitive to salinity, and thus not commonly found near estuaries – but estuaries would mean less salinity? Maybe "sensitive to changes in salinity" or "sensitive to decreases in salinity" would be more precise?
  • They are especially common below the surface of the sediment on tidal flats. – Any numbers here? Any case studies? Specimens per square meters? Might be interesting, just to get an idea.
  • has only been detected in – I suggest "observed" instead of "detected".
  • crown group – also could be linked.
  • An unnamed sipunculid worm has been discovered in the Burgess Shale in Alberta, Canada, and Lecthaylus has been identified from the Granton Shrimp Bed, Edinburgh dating to the Silurian period.

but Burgess Shale is Cambrian, should be mentioned.

These points dealt with. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 20:04, 27 February 2019 (UTC)Reply
Thank you, and congrats for the GA. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 13:22, 1 March 2019 (UTC)Reply
Thank you for the review. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:37, 1 March 2019 (UTC)Reply