Talk:Since U Been Gone/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Keilana (talk · contribs) 03:39, 3 June 2012 (UTC)

Hi! Sorry this took me so long, but I've been sick for a few days. I've organized my first comments by section for your ease of use and will finish as I have time over the next couple days. I've also watchlisted this page, so I'll notice any comments you make here. Nice work! Keilana|^{Parlez ici} 03:39, 3 June 2012 (UTC)

Lead

• The second sentence could be reworded to avoid "and...and...and" in such quick succession. You also don't need a comma after "2004".  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:49, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• "which infuses" should be "that infuses"  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• I don't think the word "dichotomy" is being used quite correctly, try rewording.  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• In the sentence about Hilary Duff, don't use the "the singer" construction again. Also, "the song's higher notes" should be "its higher notes".  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• "a little bit pop" is not formal enough.  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• "who considered the song as the highlight of Breakaway" should be "who considered the song to be the highlight of Breakaway"  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• "it is one of the best" should be "it was one of the best"  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• You need "the" before "US Pop 100", "US Pop Songs", "Recording Industry Association of America", "Netherlands", and "United Kingdom".  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• In both chart sentences, "inside" can simply be "in".  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• "showcases Clarkson" is weird, try just "shows Clarkson"  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• "two of them which were" is superfluous.  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• Sometime in the first couple sentences of the 3rd paragraph, you should restate the title.  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• "and performed by" is unnecessary.  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• You need "the" before "American rock band".  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)
• The last sentence is awkward.  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:48, 3 June 2012 (UTC)

Background and writing

• "she was advised by her A&R to fly to Sweden to meet and collaborate with Martin and Dr. Luke." could do with more explanation.

The explanation succeeds the aforementioned statement. — My December ^(talk)

I'm still a little confused, sorry... Keilana|^{Parlez ici} 20:34, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

 Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)

• Can you rejig "Clarkson told MTV about the essence of the song, saying "It's like that relationship that you've been in and you thought it was going well and then all of a sudden you're like, 'Oh, wow, no it's not, I guess,' 'cause you want to break up and you're with someone else [...] Everybody goes through that ... it doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy, and that's always crap.""?  Done — My December ^(talk) 08:50, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

Composition

• You wikilink Max Martin and Dr. Luke a few too many times in the article.  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
• "According to the sheet music published at Musicnotes.com by Universal Music Publishing Group," you don't really need this; I think it's a perfectly reliable source because Universal published it. So you can just leave that in the citation.  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
• "with a moderate beat rate" - I fixed this, but just for future use, the rate of beats in a piece of music is called a tempo.

Duly noted, thanks a lot!  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)

• "which infuses alternative-rock’s soft/loud dichotomy appropriately" could do with a rewrite for clarity.  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
• When asked whether she was a bipolar asthmatic, Clarkson responded that ""Hazel Eyes" is about the dipstick who completely screwed up and now is unhappy and you're happy. And then you're just shouting praises at the fact that he's miserable in "Since U Been Gone."" has confusing punctuation - I'm not really sure what's a quote and what's not. For "quotes-within-a-quote", use single quotation marks; that will help.  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)

Critical reception

• "which is a hard trick to pull off" - this comes off as your opinion, is this a quote from the source?  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
• Ditto with "one of the best pop songs in recent history"  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
• What does "helped her break free" mean in an encyclopedic context?  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
• "perfect" pop songs - if "perfect" is used in the source, you should put it in quotes so as to seem less peacocky. This goes for a lot of other adjectives in this.  Done — My December ^(talk) 07:35, 19 June 2012 (UTC)

Awards and recognition

• What did it lose to at the Radio Music Awards?  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)
• Some of the quotes have awkward transitions. I did do a copyedit, but I think a few could do with a rewrite.  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)

Chart performance

• Some of the citations in this section were inconsistent. Go through and make sure all the dates are in the correct format, the cite templates have their ducks in order, etc.  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)

Music video

• The language around the quotes in the first section needs rewriting; I didn't do it in my copyedit for fear of misrepresenting the quotes.  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)
• Is there a secondary source for the music video synopsis? That would be nice.

I tried looking for some but I only found one from MTV.  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)

• I did a pretty thorough rewrite of the synopsis because it was written a bit too casually for an encyclopedia, but I'd appreciate it if you checked it over.  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)
• What was the other award it got nominated for at the VMAs?  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)
• Did MusicOMH say anything about the video? That would be a nice counterbalance to the critical quote from NPR.

MusicOMH only listed video in the list without any accompanying remarks.  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)

• Can you gloss/explain a bit more what a "pop up video" is?  Done — My December ^(talk) 12:47, 26 June 2012 (UTC)

Live performances

• "she sounded better dry then drenched." - should be "than", but is this a quote? I feel like if it's not, it should be.  Done — My December ^(talk) 22:18, 4 July 2012 (UTC)
• ""Since U Been Gone" was performed in many Clarkson's headlining tour." I don't know what this is trying to say, could you please clarify?  Done — My December ^(talk) 22:18, 4 July 2012 (UTC)
• I don't think the last sentence is a particularly notable/significant performance of the song. There are a few that are iffy, but this one is the least notable IMO.  Done — My December ^(talk) 22:18, 4 July 2012 (UTC)

Cover versions and samples

• "Dave Donelly of Sputnikmusic praised Walker's cover for sticking closely to the original version. He also remarked that Walker's interpretation of the original song was unique." is confusing.  Done — My December ^(talk) 22:18, 4 July 2012 (UTC)
• I'm not sure the Robyn and Keri Hilson covers are particularly notable, were they reviewed or anything in an external, reliable source?  Done — My December ^(talk) 22:18, 4 July 2012 (UTC)