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Talk:SMS Grosser Kurfürst (1913)/GA1

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Latest comment: 13 years ago by AustralianRupert in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 13 years ago16 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: AustralianRupert (talk) 00:41, 16 October 2010 (UTC)Reply

Progression

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  • Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
  • Version of the article when review was closed: [2]

Initial comments

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This is an impressive article and I believe that it is up to GA standard. However, prior to awarding this status I have the following comments/suggestions that I think should be considered (some of which I recognise are beyond the scope of the GA review, but which I think would help it at ACR or FAC. Apologies if this is an issue):

  • in some places I found the prose a little abrupt. This might be fixed by adding in linking clauses to a few paragraphs (e.g. "After this,..." "As such," etc), but this is only minor and not enough to hold up GA. I'd recommend asking Dank or another copyeditor to take a look prior to ACR, though, but over all it seems quite well written and easily makes the grade for GA, IMO;
  • in the Service history section, you mention "von Ingenohl" but don't seem to explain who this is on first mention - I think you just need to put a brief clause after the first mention;
  • in the Battle of Jutland section, in the first sentence "battle of Jutland" - capitalisation is different. Elsewhere you treat it as a proper noun, so I think you should do so here;
  • in the Battle of Jutland section, "David Beatty" could probably be wikilinked;
  • in the Battle of Jutland section, this sentence seems a little out of place in the paragraph it is in: "The remaining shells burst on impact and caused relatively minor damage";
  • in the Battle of Jutland section, you mention "Jellicoe" but don't seem to explain who he was;
  • in the Battle of Jutland section, "and subsequently reached Horns Reef by 04:00 on 1 June,[38] Off Helgoland..." Should there be a full stop after 1 June? (not sure myself, sorry);
  • in the Subsequent operations section, "On the 5th, a pair..." (per Wikipedia:MOSDATE#Dates the use of an ordinal suffix might be problematic) - I think there are a couple of examples of this in the article, e.g. in the Fate section;
  • in the Fate section, what was the significance of hoisting a red flag?
  • in the final sentece of the Fate section, "unlike her sisters, she was ultimately raised on 29 April 1938 and sold for scrapping in Rosyth" - however in the lead it says that the ship was not raised and "the wreck is still sitting on the bottom of the bay". These seem at odds with each other;
  • in the Footnotes subsection, you might consider adding citations for # 1 and 3, although it is not a major problem for me and I won't hold it against the review for GA;
  • in the Citations subsection, Citation # 1, "Hore" is cited, but does not appear to be listed in the References;
  • in the Citations subsection, Citation # 3, "Campbell, John, "Germany 1906–1922", in Sturton, p. 36" - I think this should be presented more clearly in the References section as a chapter in an edited work;
  • in the References section, one of the ISBNs (for the Campbell 1998 work) has hyphens but the others don't, I think it best if they all look consistent.

Technical review

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  • no issues with ext links
  • some images have alt text and some don't - you might want to consider adding it in, but it is not a GA requirement so won't be held against the review

Criteria

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  • It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS):  
  • All issues addressed satisfactorily.
  • It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  • No issues.
  • It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  • No issues.
  • No issues.
  • It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:  
  • No issues that I can find.
  • It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
    a (tagged and captioned):   b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):   c (non-free images have fair use rationales):   d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain':  
  • No issues that I can find.
  • Overall:
    a Pass/Fail:  
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