Talk:Rick Ferrell/GA1

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Neonblak in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Shudde (talk · contribs) 06:37, 15 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


Hey. I've decided to review this article. I will hopefully start the review shortly, but before I do this is how I normally go about it: I'll usually read through the article starting immediately after the lead, and make comments as I go. These comments do not necessarily relate directly to the Good article criteria, but should in most cases. I believe that if I'm going to review an article, I may as well give any feedback I can, regardless of whether it relates to meeting the GA criteria. I read the lead last. Once I've finished reading through, I normally check the references and images (although sometimes I check these as I go). It's here I'll normally spotcheck the references (to see that they verify the relevant statement) and also checking to close-paraphrasing. If I find any problems with close paraphrasing I'll fail the article immediately – I'm not comfortable passing an article if there is a chance it contains a copyright violation. I see this as a collaborative process, so if you have any questions feel free to ask, and I'll make sure that I check back regularly. – Shudde talk 06:37, 15 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Extended content
Early life
- fixed
  • "and in 1928 he posted a .333 batting average [with them]"?
- fixed
  • Why would Ferrell be held unfairly in the minor leagues? What would the motivation for that be?
- this was pre-Rule 5 draft era, so there really isn't much more explain, other than franchises weren't allowed to stash talent in the minors forever. Players could appeal to the Commissioner of Baseball, and he alone decided who was being unfairly held and who wasn't. Not an exact rule unfortunately.
This still isn't really clear, maybe I didn't express myself well. You say "Ferrell suspected that he was being unfairly held in the minor leagues, a common practice at the time,", but why would he be getting held in the minor leagues at all? And why would he suspect this is unfair? My guess is that his Major League side didn't think he was good enough to play for them, but thought he was too good to allow to play for a rival team. Would this be correct? If so a clarification in the text would be very useful. Especially as you say it was unfair, and common at the time. Doesn't need a detailed discussion of rules and regulations, rather a brief statement on the motivation of his team for holding him in the minor leagues. -- Shudde talk 04:11, 21 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
Sweet. Probably more information than I needed but definitely interesting and helpful! -- Shudde talk 02:08, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
Major Leagues
  • Remove second instance of linking batting average
- fixed all of these throughout the article, though not all were necessarily WP:OVERLINK via the "...and at the first occurrence after the lead." clause. But since the article was fairly short, I will get along to move along :)
I use the highlight dup links scripts which is pretty handy. It doesn't count links in the lead from what I know. -- Shudde talk 04:11, 21 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • "hitting for a " -- is this correct in American English?
- fixed
  • "even though future Baseball Hall of Fame members Mickey Cochrane and Bill Dickey were also on the team." -- I'm assuming he was played over these two?
- The first half of the sentence reads "American League manager Connie Mack used Ferrell to catch the entire game in a 4–2 American League victory,..."
Were those other two also catchers, did they play the same position to Ferrell? This is not clear from the sentence. -- Shudde talk 04:11, 21 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • "He ended the year with a .297 batting average" -- because of the last sentence not 100% clear who "he" is
- fixed
  • "impressive 25-14" should an ndash be used here?
- fixed
  • "Playing with a partially broken right hand, he ended the year with the Senators batting .244", partially broken? Also does "ended the year with the Senators batting .244" mean that he batted .244 over the year, or just in the "end"?
- It looks like the source used the "partially broken" wording. I agree that does sound a bit silly, so I removed "partially".
  • " The Senators would release his brother Wes in August 1938." a lot of people don't like the construction "would" used like this, could I suggest " The Senators released his brother Wes in August 1938."
- fixed
  • "where he caught " again this could refer to Ferrell or Kennedy. Maybe "... and went on to catch ..."
- fixed
  • "Ferrell missed his only opportunity to play in the World Series by one year." -- I'm not sure this is appropriate to say. Yes his old team made the World Series, but to assume they would have made it with him in the team seems a jump. I'd recommend removing this sentence.
- agreed, removed sentenced.
Post-playing career and legacy
  • There are a few duplicate links in this section that you may want to remove.
- fixed
  • Is there any more information about his personal life, even just a couple of sentences on family etc?
- added wife and family, more information on where they lived and cause of death. Added NYTimes obit.
Lead
  • You've linked All Star twice
- fixed
  • Lead summarises the article well
Images
  • File:Rick Ferrell Browns.jpg -- there is not date for when the photo was taken, only when it was uploaded. Also is there any evidence the copyright was not renewed?
- fixed date and made it clear what the photo is.
Still not sure about this image. I'm going to ask for a second opinion. Just not my area, and better to be safe than sorry. -- Shudde talk 04:11, 21 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
References

There are 32 references so I'll spotcheck 8 at random.

  • [2] -- I'll only check the first five. a -- fin; b -- can't find it, do I have to dig around?; c -- fine; d -- supports second part of sentence but not the first; e -- again do I need to dig around for this?
- b:under name and death information, d:fixed, used ref 1, where information was drawn from, e:the bold numbers signify stats that led the league, but I replaced with another RS that states it clearer near the bottom of the page.
  • [5] -- no problems
  • [6] -- a -- Does not support the whole statement, that he was signed by the Tigers in 1926; b -- supports this
- fixed
  • [14] -- looks like OR to me, "impressive"? Backs up some of the statement, but we need a secondary source for any praise of his performance.
- removed the word "impressive" and inserted Wes Ferrell's stat reference to clean it up.
  • [20] -- no problems
  • [22] -- struggling to interpret the stats but pretty sure ref supports statement
  • [27] -- Supports some of the statement.
  • [30] -- supports that he was elected in 1984.

I haven't found any close-paraphrasing problems to worry about. You may want to check some of your sources, that they fully verify the statements they reference. [2], [6] and [14] for example. 3/8 is probably a little worrying. I may come back and check more references in the next day or two.

Overall

The article is very well written. It's quite dense with jargon and statistics, which is both common and hard to avoid in sports articles. It's written quite well however and I did enjoy reading it. If I did have a recommendation it would be for a little more discussion or commentary on his performances from secondary sources, rather than relying so heavily on statistics. I think this would enhance the article. I will place the article on hold. There are a few concerns regarding sources, one image that needs attention, and some minor prose points to look at. If you have any questions feel free to ping me on my talkpage. -- Shudde talk 07:53, 15 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for the thorough review, it will take me some time to address these, but should be completed within a few days.Neonblak talk - 12:04, 15 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
No problems. I'm unlikely to be able to check through any changes until last week so no rush. -- Shudde talk 22:32, 17 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
Hopefully I have fixed and/or addressed all your concerns, I will be available if any more pop up. I appreciate the time you have spent reviewing this article.Neonblak talk - 08:20, 18 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
Great. I've gone through and have a couple more comments above. I'm also going to ask for a second opinion on the copyright status of File:Rick Ferrell Browns.jpg, which hopefully won't take long. I'm happy enough with the references, but it may be worth your time to check through a few more that I didn't spot-check. Nearly there. -- Shudde talk 04:11, 21 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

@Shudde: I added (I think), a thorough explanation of the contract dispute, and it should be clear now what happened. Also, changed word in the Cochrane/Dickey sentence, and added their Hall of Fame pages as references to back-up the other biography. Other than the picture issue, I think I got it all, but if not, let me know.Neonblak talk - 03:51, 22 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

@Neonblak: Thanks for that. Still haven't had a response at WT:GAN so I'll try and add something like a note to get a response. A little frustrating sorry, but better safe than sorry! -- Shudde talk 02:08, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
Second opinion sought

Would greatly appreciate a second opinion regarding the copyright status of File:Rick Ferrell Browns.jpg -- see above for more details. It's the only thing we're waiting on before passing the article. -- Shudde talk 02:08, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

I asked the user that uploaded the photo, and his response is here. It may help.Neonblak talk - 13:34, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
@Neonblak: Cool. If you could add something along the lines of Wizardman's rationale to the image's description page then that would be great. I'll AGF that this'll be done and pass the article. Good work on the article, it's a nice piece of writing and even for an ignorant-of-baseball reader such as me I found it quite engaging. Congrats again. -- Shudde talk 00:35, 24 October 2014 (UTC)Reply
Thank you for the detailed review, you may or may not know baseball, but you certainly know WikiPedia :) I will form a short rationale for the picture now, so that it is up-to-speed.Neonblak talk - 03:51, 24 October 2014 (UTC)Reply