Talk:Nels Nelsen/GA1

Latest comment: 13 years ago by Wizardman in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:58, 1 March 2011 (UTC)Reply

I'll be reviewing this article. Overall it's good, but I have a few concerns:

  • "Despite being holding the world record at the time," take out being
  • "Nels married Emma Pickard, with whom he had ten children." first name usage is discouraged, just use Nelsen.
  • "who's flexibility made it easer to participate in tournaments." whose flexibility
  • "He moved to North Vancouver where he raised his family." any time period on that? as is it just seems thrown in.
  • "Among his methods to improve his jumps," comma not needed
  • "sick with the influenza," the not needed
  • "After his accident, he started working to established" you mean 'working to establish' the ski club, or is there a different meaning? Either way, needs rewording.

I will put the article on hold and will pass it when the issues are fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:58, 1 March 2011 (UTC)Reply

Everything has been seen to, except the move to North Vancouver. Thanks for taking the time to review the article. It's my first sports bio, so it has been new ground for me. Arsenikk (talk) 07:09, 2 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
No problem; everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:40, 2 March 2011 (UTC)Reply