Talk:My All/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer:  Candyo32 00:52, 23 November 2010 (UTC)

Intro

*Towards the video's climax, Carey and her love interest climb atop a lighthouse, and caress each other under the night's sky.

No comma needed

• Additionally, Carey began incorporating other genres of music into her song-writing; developing new ideas and melodies.

A semicolon does not apply here. Re-word into one sentence or break into two.

• Info is kind of mixed up here. You said earlier "Carey expressed how her visit to Puerto Rico and the current emotions in her life inspired her to write "My All," yet again this shows up later "Of them was "My All" which Carey composed during her trip to Puerto Rico in early 1997." Condense a little bit.

Recording

*"My All" would be the last time the two would collaborate; he is absent from the writing credits in her follow-up album, Rainbow (1999). ---> ...collaborate, as he is absent....

• Some paraphrasing needs to be happening to reduce the first blockquote.
  • Hey. Whats the problem with its length? I mean we are quoting someone. If we always paraphrase, then whats the need for blockquotes?--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 21:05, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Its different in paraphrasing the material than quoting it directly from the source. So its better to paraphrase just due to copyright infringement. I thought the same thing, as long as you source where it comes from it should be alright, but rewording still needs to happen sometimes. I had two GA's re-assessed and delisted due to copyright vios of using quotes, so I just try to make sure.

Well take a look at this Madonna (album), its GA and has a huge quote directly taken from the source. Also Like a Virgin etc. think the whole paraphrasing thing ruins the quote, which in itself fits so perfectly.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 21:20, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

I see now, but I was just telling you from experience. But I still would condense the first so you won't have two big quotes in the section. Candyo32 21:24, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

I would prefer to leave it that way. If I suffer the same fate you did, I'll let you hand me a big "I told ya so" :P--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 21:33, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

• Also watch WP:NPOV here.
  • Thanks. So everything is directly from the books, so I'm not just making stuff to go someones way.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 21:05, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Oh, I don't mean the way you are quoting, in this section, just what you are quoting because some of the information about Carey and her relationship may be a bit redundant. Candyo32 21:12, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

I hope you don't mind me lol, but I think it really all fits in. I mean its all was part of the recording process and its allot of info during that period of the song's writing.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 21:16, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

If it were talking about much deeper into the background of the song or the composition or reception would be different, but I'm weary of it a bit because as it is about the song and not a bio of Carey, you could just resolve how her relationship with Afiansseff (or something like that lol) had an impact on the song. Candyo32 21:26, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Hmmm, well there are only around 3-4 lines discussing that, and it talks about their relationship and the song. The "recording" section of a song is supposed to talk about any significant thing that took place during its recording. I find info on why they never worked again to be important. Again look at Like a Virgin, is it really necessary to tell us Madonna liked to go for a swim? or that Rogers went to late night parties?--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 21:33, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

However, that would be from an overall album perspective, and this is just one song from Butterfly. I would consider different if this were on the Butterfly page because it talks about the album as a whole and the relationship as an influence on it. Ok, lets come to a compromise, leave the second quote as is, but I still would like the first one to be shrinked a bit, because really without the quote you could understand everything you need to know by what is in the prose. But I'll leave leeway since you believe it is vital to the article that Afensiff give details about the relationship. Candyo32 21:52, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Composition

*C5 and F5 --> the 5's need to be in subscripts

• • You know I've got issues with that music section lol. Can you do this one? :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 21:05, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Critical reception

*Link Billboard

• Little bit of paraphrasing here:

"and writing "the lyrical strokes are as broad and obvious as they are naked. The song's central question, is so naïve and bare, it's almost as devastating as a child asking hard questions about death." --> are naked. Juziwak said the song's "central question" was "naive and bare," comparing it to the devastation of a child asking about death.

Overall, this is great! I would like to point out the questionable use of semicolons (;) in the article. For each time it is used on both sides of the punctuation needs to be a full sentence. I would go back and search the article to fix all usages of semi-colons, I didn't point all of them out but I know there was one wrong usage in the music video section. So search for those and correct everything else! Candyo32 20:20, 28 November 2010 (UTC)