Talk:Michael Carrick/GA2

Latest comment: 13 years ago by Healy6991 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: NapHit (talk) 19:58, 17 April 2011 (UTC)Reply

  • "The following season, 2001–02, saw Carrick make 32 appearances for The Hammers." - change the start of the sentence t The 2001-02 season, following is redundant.
  • "His second coming in happier circumstances" - not eyclopeadic I would change the whole sentence to "He scored the second goal in a 2-1 victory over rivals Chelsea ten days later"
  • "He made a goalscoring appearance for the Tottenham reserves but his first team debut for the club was delayed after suffering an injury setback on 14 September" stick a comma before but
  • "As a result of the loss this meant rivals Arsenal" this meant is redundant
  • "This was his final game for Tottenham as he made more crosses and more passes than any other Tottenham player during the 2005–06 season, and along with Mido was joint top in assists" not sure what his final game has to do with him making the crosses
  • "the transfer was official as personal terms were agree with Carrick" agree - agreed
  • "Despite agreeing a deal for the player the previous week - the fee was not made public until Spurs issued a statement to the stock exchange" mdash should used instead of hyphen
  • "Carrick scored the first-ever Champions League goals on 10 April, scoring twice in a 7–1 home win over Roma in their quarter-final second leg tie." I think you mean his instead of the here
  • "They would go on to lose their semi-final tie 5–3 on aggregate to eventual champions A.C. Milan and ending their hopes of an all English final with Liverpool." the ans after Milan is redundant
  • "He would scored" remove would
  • "His first season with Manchester United ended in success as they won the Premier League title as a result of Chelsea's 1–1 draw with Arsenal on 6 May" comma before success
  • "his goal came in injury timeand was mere consolation in a 2–1 home loss to rivals Manchester City" time and and need separating
  • "after breaking a bone in his foot during the challenge with Yossi Benayoun." change the to a<
  • "Carrick scored his first goal of the 2009–10 season as he grabbed the decisive goal" again grabbed is not encyclopaedic, change it "Carrick scored his first goal of the 2009–10 season with the decisive goal"
  • "during his caree" typo
  • "he stepped in" played would be better than stepped here
  • "Carrick played the entire game of the 2–1 2010 League Cup Final win over Aston Villa, which gave him his first League Cup medal" very awkward sentence try Carrick played the entire game of the 2010 League Cup final, which United won 2–1 resulting in his first League Cup medal."
  • In the international section there are lot of scorelines that require an endash, there a three alone in the first paragraph
  • "generally getting the nod" getting the nod is not encyclopaedic change to "being preferred"
  • "He started nine games under Sven-Göran Eriksson and his successor Steve McClaren,[138] his last appearance under McClaren being a 2–1 defeat at home to Germany in August 2007" I think these are two separate sentences, also change being to "was in a"
  • 30 man has no hyphen while 31-man earlier in the section does need to be consistent with the hyphens
  • I would make the international goals table full size to help readers with impaired vision

The issues are mainly with the prose everything else seems to be in order. Going to put the article on hold until these issues are addressed then I will happily promote it. NapHit (talk) 19:58, 17 April 2011 (UTC)Reply

All of these issues have been adressed with. Healy6991 (talk) 23:25, 17 April 2011 (UTC)Reply