Talk:Lumines: Puzzle & Music/GA1

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GA ReviewEdit

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Reviewer: Abryn (talk · contribs) 16:25, 11 July 2020 (UTC)


GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Lead

  • Split lead into two or more paragraph
  • Hyperlink Tetsuya Mizuguchi and clarify his role in the game in the lead paragraph
  • Lead info inconsistent with infobox - lists Mobcast as developer and publisher in infobox + Resonair as developer, but in paragraph it says that Resonair published the game.
  • Be careful to avoid repetition; for instance, you start two sentences in a row with "The game"
  • "among critics" > "by critics"
  • "the game however with" > "the game with"
  • Lead describes the game as releasing in Japan, Australia, and New Zealand in X date, but in the infobox, it only lists that date as corresponding to JP.
  • The lead doesn't mention other versions, such as the freemium version or the lite version.

Gameplay

  • Does the first source identify this game as similar to its predecessors?
  • "two color blocks" > "two-color blocks"
  • Make sure not to be too redundant, using "the player" to start two sentences in a row
  • How exactly does the game control? Via touch controls I can glean from later, but be sure to specify that it uses a touchscreen interface (and specifically that, as touch does not necessarily mean touchscreen)

Development

  • "...were acquired by Mobcast and announced the development..." > "...were acquired by Mobcast, which announced the development..."
  • "The game was originally under the Lumines 2016 but was officially announced as Lumines: Puzzle & Music later on." > "The game was originally titled Lumines 2016 but was later officially named Lumines: Puzzle & Music."
  • Clarify Mizuguchi's role in development
  • "Tetsuya Mizuguchi discovered" > "Tetsuya Mizuguchi learned"
  • When did Mizuguchi quit?
  • "This led Mizuguchi to approach Mobcast in co-developing a new Lumines title for smartphones alongside Resonair." > "This led him to approach Mobcast to co-develop a new Lumines title for smartphones alongside Resonair."
  • Just to check, how did Resonair enter into this? Did Mizuguchi also approach them, or did Mobcast bring them in?
  • "When choosing to have the game be played vertically or horizontally, both Mizuguchi and Eiichiro chose vertical to be the best choice" > "Both Mizuguchi and Eiichiro chose to have the game be vertically oriented instead of horizontal"
  • I was going to modify the rest of the sentence for this, but I'm not sure I understand what it is saying. Is it saying that they wanted vertical because it reduced time to think?
  • Non-WW release date is inconsistent between lead/infobox and the main article portion
  • No need to put albums in quotations
  • Italicize Lumines in "Another Lumines mobile title"
  • "Instead a freemium version of Puzzle & Music subtitled, Lumines: Puzzle & Music Neo[b], was released on November 21, 2016." > "Instead, a freemium version of Puzzle & Music titled Lumines: Puzzle & Music Neo was released on November 21, 2016."

Reception

  • Make sure to use multiple paragraphs, this one's too big
  • Excessive use of quotation, please summarize a lot of it
  • Italicize website and magazine names
  • "would have preferred the ability to connect a controller to play the game." > "would have preferred the ability to use a game controller."
  • "A common criticism in the game among reviewers was the lack of songs. Both Gamezebo and Digitally Downloaded.net were disappointed in the number of songs the game came initially, but remained hopeful for future expansion and DLC." > "A common criticism among reviewers was the lack of songs. Both Gamezebo and Digitally Downloaded.net were disappointed in this, but remained hopeful for future downloadable content."

Images

  • Use a more descriptive caption for the gameplay screenshot
  • Make sure to avoid using n.a. in fair use rationales
  • Reason for use is not good enough, you should specifically state why this image is necessary for the understanding of the article.

References

Misc

  • Make sure to be consistent with quotation formatting (choose either ." or ".) and plurals (you use both player and players)
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