Talk:Leonard Trent/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by AustralianRupert in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: AustralianRupert (talk · contribs) 23:05, 6 March 2020 (UTC)Reply


I will post a review shortly. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 23:05, 6 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Initial comments: G'day, nice work as always. I have a few minor comments/suggestions: AustralianRupert (talk) 23:39, 6 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • external links all work (no action required)
  • there are no dab links (no action required)
  • in the lead, suggest splitting the second paragraph, probably after "prisoner of war"
  • the family moved to Takaka --> "In April 1919, the Trent family relocated to Takaka" to avoid using the same wording as this: [1]
  • became captivated by flying --> "became interested in flying" to avoid using the same wording as this: [2]
  • suggest taking a quick run through the article and carrying out a minor c/e to tweak the wording a little to avoid inadvertently using similar wording to the source above, per this link: [3] (generally the article is ok in this regard, but there are a few key phrases that might need to be tweaked, IMO)
  • the infobox provides the dates for his command of RAF Wittering as 1959-1962, but the body of the article says "April 1960" was when he took over
  • "forceland" -- my dictionary doesn't recognise this word. Perhaps "forced to complete an emergency landing"?
  • was instead to sent to --> "was instead sent to"
  • He returned to England with his family, which now included a son, to England in late 1947 --> "He returned to England with his family, which now included a son, in late 1947"
  • He flew several operations for the Berlin airlift --> "He flew several operations during the Berlin airlift"?
  • Royal Air Force is overlinked in the lead and in the Military career section
  • Auckland is overlinked in the Later life section
  • "Military career" section header -- suggest tweaking this to "Early military career" as in reality the Second World War section is also part of his military career, as is the VC section and Post war career
  • in the citations, the link to the London Gazette appears in citation 51 but probably should appear earlier (citation 10)
  • make their way to Switzerland via traveling through Czechoslovakia and Austria --> "make their way to Switzerland via Czechoslovakia and Austria" or "Switzerland travelling through Czechoslovakia and Austria"
  • capitalisation: "Summary Of Record Information" --> "Summary of Record Information"
  • in the References section the Official History is overlinked
  • is there potentially an image that might be suitable for the Post war section?
  • images seem appropriately licenced and references appear to be reliable (no action required)
    • @Zawed: G'day, Zawed, if you have a moment, could you please take a look at these comments and let me know your thoughts? Cheers, AustralianRupert (talk) 01:44, 14 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • @AustralianRupert: hey mate, sorry, I got a bit distracted with a couple of other Wiki projects. I have attended to all the items above, with the exception of running the copyvio tool. It doesn't want to work for me at the moment, so I did a manual pass of the text and did find a few portions of text uncomfortably close to the source so have rephrased these. I will try running the copyvio tool again tomorrow. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:13, 14 March 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • No worries -- your changes look good. I can't seem to get Earwig to work at the moment, either, but I think you have gotten the main ones. Thanks for your efforts. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 01:42, 15 March 2020 (UTC)Reply

Criteria

1. Well written:  Y

a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct; and
b. it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

2. Verifiable with no original research:  Y

a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline;
b. all in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;
c. it contains no original research; and
d. it contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism.

3. Broad in its coverage:  Y

a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and
b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.  Y

5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute  Y

6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:  Y

a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content; and
b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.