Talk:Kawan Bergeloet/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by J Milburn in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 19:34, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply


Happy to offer a review, but I may be a little slow. Josh Milburn (talk) 19:34, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

  • "Kawan Bergeloet has been reprinted several times and receive positive critical appraisal" Your tenses are a bit off.
  • "including humour, fairy tales, and detective stories" The first is a genre, the second two are not; perhaps you could try "humour, fairy tale and detective fiction".
  • "The first canonical collection of short stories" What does this mean?
  • "In the Indonesian literary canon". Similar to Chinese-Malay novels such as Boenga Roos dari Tjikembang, works written in vernacular Malay have not been included in the Indonesian literary canon. Hence why a number of authors, including Teeuw, Rosidi, and (in the Suman Hs article) Eka Budianta, consider Suman one of the fathers of the Indonesian short story, despite Warna Sari being published nearly 30 years before Kawan Bergeloet. I can migrate the information on canonicity from Boenga Roos dari Tjikembang as a footnote, if need be. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 00:00, 3 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Humour but labor- what variety of English are you using, here?
  • "is forgotten at Aminah's home" How about "is accidentally left at Aminah's home"?
  • "an insultingly low bride price" Is that a compound adjective? Shouldn't it be "insultingly-low"?
  • "When arriving in a new village, he is taken on as an Islamic teacher, and in his sermons Saleh—hoping that his students will give him some goods—preaches the importance of charity." Perhaps this sentence could be split? Or maybe you could remove "in his sermons Saleh".

Gotta dash- back another time! Josh Milburn (talk) 20:00, 2 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

Carrying on:

  • Just a little thing, but "cookie" means something fairly specific in British English; I suspect you're describing what I'd call a "biscuit".

No complaints on the sourcing or images. Seems like a very strong article... I'll be back for another look-through at some point soon. Josh Milburn (talk) 17:02, 3 May 2016 (UTC)Reply