Talk:Josh Hutcherson/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Gloss in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 06:09, 23 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hi gloss, wonderful article. Starting review process soon. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:12, 23 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

Initial comments
  • The tables in the filmography needs to be structured as detailed in the mos for WP:FILMOGRAPHY and need to comply with WP:ACCESS. Basically rowspans are supposed to be removed, same for the Awards tables I guess. I think you can start on these as the tables might be tricky and might take some time. I'm working on the prose reviews.
  • It hasnot been fixed, look at my dummy edit to see how to do it. You add the !scope="row" parameter for the most important column of the table, in this case the name of the film/serial. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 14:59, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • My apologies, I'm not too experienced with those. I believe I've fixed it now, but if I'm wrong again, let me know. Gloss • talk 18:28, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • I'm afraid its not done yet. Check the first row of the table, see what I added and then see your addition. Can you notice that the box for American Splendor has been greyed? That's what WP:ACCESS doesn. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 14:29, 30 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
I missed one character in each of the rows, should be good now. I'll eat a rock if it's not. (just kidding) Gloss • talk 17:07, 30 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • Just a note, I'll be away the next two days and unable to respond to any comments here until early next week. Gloss • talk 19:26, 24 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • Home, and ready to go when you are! Gloss • talk 02:36, 27 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
Lead
  • You are mentioning the years of the films like Zathura, RV etc, however, suddenly stopping from Bridge to Terabithia. Seems a little odd. I guess you have to find a way to mold the years for all of the films, or maybe mention none. The article body has them anyways.
  • THG film series, no need to mention so much detail of the unreleased third parts. Best left out from lead or keep it ambiguous.
  • You mention both Josh as well as Hutcherson throughout the article. You are to call the BIO only by the surname. I'm making this comment here since it applies throughout the article.
Early life
  • His mother, Michelle, is a former Delta Air Lines employee who now assists Josh --> Do you mean Hutcherson's mother assisted later in his career? If so then that should be worded better so that it is clear/
  • Expand EPA and have the abbreviation in braces. This is its first time use.
  • Josh's passion for entertaining people began developing at the age of three. His parents admit to ignoring his requests to act for six years before realizing that it may be something worth pursuing and not just a phase --> Josh's passion for entertaining people began developing at the age of three [how did this happen?]. His parents admit to ignoring his requests to act for six years before realizing that it may be something worth pursuing and not just a phase. --> For six years his parents had ignored his requests to pursue acting, however they realized that it could be something worth pursuing for Hutcherson and was not just a phase.
  • He attended New Haven Elementary School in ... ---> This whole line should be moved before "Josh's passion for entertaining people began developing at the age of three..."
Early roles
  • In January 2002, Hutcherson and his mother met acting coach Bob Luke who suggested they head to Los Angeles and begin auditioning for TV pilots, advice they followed --> In January 2002, Hutcherson and his mother met acting coach Bob Luke who adviced them to head to Los Angeles and begin auditioning for TV pilots.
  • The rest of the first para in this section reads too proseline effect. Like "... in year xxxx Hutcherson starred in film yyyyy". My main qualm is that the prose does not deviate at all from the stereotyping and reads like a log-book/diary entry. You can maybe spice it up by interjecting quotes from critics, or from Hutcherson himself as to what he thought about some of these roles. You can also minimally talk about the commercial aspect of the film, I believe The Polar Express atleast needs a mention.
    • Good job on the expansion, however, you do not need to italicize quotes. Also, The Polar Express should not be under single quotes inside another quote, it should be simple as follows: CNN's Paul Clinton criticized the film stating: "It's a shame. The Polar Express wants to be an uplifting holiday film, but it tries too hard to make its point. Moreover, the technology just hasn't caught up to the lofty ambitions of the hundreds of talented people behind this film."
  • From 2005–2006 ---> From 2005–06, per MOS:DATES
  • and even received his first solo award despite a previous nomination in 2003 --> What award, which nomination, for what film etc etc needs to be answered or better remove this if you have mentioned later, which you have done.
  • Ok the same diary effect continues in the second para also however the mentioning of the younger brother and the award changes the pace so I'm fine with it. :)
  • Hutcherson subsequently played Jesse Aarons ---> Why subsequently?
  • performing well critically and commercially.--> this needs source
  • Regarding his off-sceen friendship with co-star AnnaSophia Robb, he stated --> Add a ':' at the end before the quote begins
  • Remove the wikilink to Young Artist Award the second time per WP:OVERLINK.
  • Hutcherson's next role was in Firehouse Dog (released on April 4, 2007), in which he played Shane Fahey, a firefighter's son who befriends a dog.[20] Having a dog of his own, he was described as very patient and confident while working on set with four different dogs ---> Too much repetition of dog dog dog dog dog dog.. lol.
  • From 2009–2011 --->same change
  • and is credited ---> and was credited.
  • "Leading Young Actress." --> "Leading Young Actress". Quotes go before the period.

Here's the first batch. Sorry, a bit under the weather. :( —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:46, 28 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hope you feel better! I've taken care of all of these improvements. Gloss • talk 17:01, 28 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
Added more. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 02:17, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
Completed all. Gloss • talk 03:03, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
Continued success through The Hunger Games
  • role and the films release ---> role and the film's release
  • Despite its mixed reviews, the film made over $325 million at the box office ---> This is not clear as to which film you are talking about.Also, you need to use the inflation template so that the gross is adjusted accordingly. Copy the code after this in the article: $325 million ($431.32 million in 2024 dollars[1])
  • Another thing, please check the gross with the main film article. I believe it needs upgradation.
  • Once The Hunger Games was released on March 23, 2013 --> After The Hunger.....
  • Why another review from CNN? Surely there are other reviewers like The New York Times?
  • I've spent some time looking and NYT seems to have no reviews that discuss Hutcherson in specifics like the CNN review does. I also looked beyond NYT and most other reviews are from various teen magazines and fan sites. Gloss • talk 18:28, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • Considered by many to be his breakthrough role ---> WP:OR at present
  • Beyonce --> Beyoncé
  • Catching Fire was equally successful as the first part. Their commercial aspect needs mention. I believe it is Hutcherson's highest grossing films.
  • You can use blockquote for the big quote present at the end of the para. Suits the article better.
Personal life

*In September 2008, he traveled to Italy for the first time. He visited Rome and Milan, and participated in a local event for children interested in moviemaking --> How is this relevant? Celebrities do stuff like these regularly.

  • Later that year, Hutcherson bought a house in Los Angeles, California that was previously owned by Ellen DeGeneres until 2005, and Heath Ledger until 2007. The house was built in 1951 and includes 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1,861 square feet of living space indoors, and over 2,000 square feet of living space outdoors.[50] He supported Barack Obama during the 2012 Presidential Elections and encouraged his twitter followers to get out and vote, as this was the first election he had voted in, himself. ---> Completely ventures into fancruft territory. Please remove
  • Hutcherson previously dated his Journey 2 co-star Vanessa Hudgens but the two are now "good friends."[53] He began dating Claudia Traisac in 2013, during filming of the upcoming film, Paradise Lost --> You need to expand on this. Vanessa Hudgens gets enough third party news fodder. Otherwise the part about them being "good friends" reads like a news report on TMZ, and you surely know how gross is that.
  • I'm not too sure what you feel could be expanded here. There isn't much media coverage on either of these relationships outside of Perez Hilton's batches of gossip articles about them. Gloss • talk 18:28, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • I get that. What I'm trying to say is that how did the relationship develop and whether there were any significant commentary about them or appearances. Also, "filming of the upcoming film"?
  • I found a little bit about two appearances and have added that in. Also fixed the awkward wording. Gloss • talk 17:07, 30 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
References
  • References like People should be italicized as such and not as People.com.
  • Online sources like Rotten Tomatoes should not be italicized. Please check these two points throughout the article. Printed media = italicize, Online media = non-italicized
  • Is there a reference field other than "work" that I should be putting Rotten Tomatoes in? The "work" field seems to be automatically italicized. Gloss • talk 18:28, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • You can maybe use the following: work=[[Rotten Tomatoes]]
  • Thanks, that worked. Gloss • talk 17:07, 30 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • Most of them are online available outlets, you should stick to using {{cite web}} and {{cite news}} only.
  • Consider the publisher fields in the templates. Either fill out the publisher for all the references, else leave out for all of them.
  • This shows that some of the links have been redirected. Correct them.
  • For some reason those links provide the exact same URL once you go to the article. I've tried to get the "correct" URL many times but the URL currently being used seems to be the only link to the article. Cannot identify a solution here. Gloss • talk 18:28, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

That's all and I'm done with the review. Really enjoyable and I love The Hunger Games. :) —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 14:59, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

I've taken care of most of this but commented on the issues I either need some help with or don't fully understand. Thanks for your help and patience. Gloss • talk 18:28, 29 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

@IndianBio: Answered back again. Gloss • talk 17:07, 30 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

I don't mean to come off as impatient but I was wondering if you saw that I have replied to the remaining concerns. Gloss • talk 23:05, 1 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
I did, I did. Somehow lost track of promoting it, well all looks good now. Thanks for your patience, this is a GA now, congratulations Peeta.. err Josh! :P —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 05:40, 2 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
Thank you for all of your help! Gloss • talk 06:52, 2 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
  1. ^ 1634–1699: McCusker, J. J. (1997). How Much Is That in Real Money? A Historical Price Index for Use as a Deflator of Money Values in the Economy of the United States: Addenda et Corrigenda (PDF). American Antiquarian Society. 1700–1799: McCusker, J. J. (1992). How Much Is That in Real Money? A Historical Price Index for Use as a Deflator of Money Values in the Economy of the United States (PDF). American Antiquarian Society. 1800–present: Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis. "Consumer Price Index (estimate) 1800–". Retrieved February 29, 2024.