Talk:Jews in Hong Kong/GA2
Latest comment: 2 years ago by An anonymous username, not my real name in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: An anonymous username, not my real name (talk · contribs) 23:13, 17 February 2022 (UTC)
Here's my review:
- The intro needs to be made much longer, considering how long the rest is.
- The languages Hebrew, English, French, and Cantonese are mentioned in the infobox. The first and last are practically self-explanatory, and English, being a global language and the language of Hong Kong's former rulers, makes sense, but French is not given any explanation in the article itself. Additionally, Madarin, mentioned in the main body, is not mentioned here. Considering how the article mentions multiple times how Jewish immigrants from across Europe have settled in Hong Kong, it may be best to have a seperate Language section.
- Jewish merchants from Britain, Australia and colonies of the British Empire, who traded in opium, tea and silk, had been visiting Hong Kong even before the establishment of British rule in 1841. Australia was a colony of the British Empire before 1841. Maybe you could specify the other colonies?
- Did the Israeli Declaration of Independence in 1948 affect the size of the community?
- Five unique Torah scrolls belonging to the ancient Jewish community of Kaifeng were discovered... Could you explain a little bit about what makes them unique?
- The Jewish community of Hong Kong hold Shabbat meals, celebrate the main Jewish holidays (Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, Hanukkah, Shavuot, Pesach and others) and develop religious educational programs. All of these are more or less what one would expect. Any possible elaboration, considering this sentence is its own paragraph?
- Some immigrants, including those from Muslim countries have taken their antisemitic prejudices to Hong Kong. This feels prejudiced. Could you name some specific countries?
- One such case involved a Chinese bar owner who displayed photos of murdered Jews from a Nazi concentration camp in his bar. I don't know if this is notable enough to be mentioned anyway, but assuming it is, could you explain the outcome of the incident?
This article is nice and long, and can probably be a featured article someday, but for now, I would recommend working on all of these things.
- @An anonymous username, not my real name: I've implemented your recommended changes:
- I've expanded the lead, it should be long enough now.
- I had added French because of the Jewish immigrants from Western Europe during WWII, but it's not mentioned specifically in any sources, so I've replaced it with Mandarin. I don't think a Language section is necessaru since there are only a few sentences about the community's languages in the article.
- That was a grammar mistake. I've now changed it to "Britain and colonies of the British Empire, including Australia". The sources do not specify what the other colonies are.
- None of the sources in the article make mention of the Israeli Declaration of Independence, so it most likely had no significant effect.
- I rechecked the source for the Torah scrolls and it doesn't use the word "unique". I've removed it now.
- The holding of Jewish holidays in Hong Kong is unique because the Jewish communities in other parts of China are prohibited from holding such festivals. I've merged the sentence with the paragraph after it and expanded a bit about why it's unique in Hong Kong.
- The "including those from Muslim countries" doesn't exist in the source, therefore I've removed it. It was a mistake I forgot to remove while translating.
- The source for the incident doesn't elaborate much on it other than saying "At first, the bar owner refused to remove the photographs in spite of Jewish protests." I could remove the sentence if you'd like. — Golden call me maybe? 11:04, 18 February 2022 (UTC)
I think the article is ready, so I have passed it. The lead is definitely long enough now, and the sentence about the bar owner is fine. Very good work! --An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 01:13, 19 February 2022 (UTC)