Talk:James Crumley (footballer)/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Lemonade51 in topic GA Review
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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 16:33, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
Just minor stuff really:
- "He played in America for two seasons, then played in the...", repetition
- Is "He played in America for two seasons, then returned to Scotland where he kept goal for Central League team Arbroath before..." better?
- Better.
- Is "He played in America for two seasons, then returned to Scotland where he kept goal for Central League team Arbroath before..." better?
- "Crumley himself received a share of the fee, and would be earning £6 a week," being extremely picky here but anyway this could be rephrased? I'm guessing it's worded like this because the source provides info about his arrival?
- Info about his departure, anyway. The Dundee-based source says "The Welsh Club had a representative at the Dundee "A"-Hibs Eastern League game, and he was so well satisfied with the display of Bob Crumley's brother that he concluded the deal there and then. Jamie is getting £6 per week from Swansea, and, with his share of the tidy little transfer fee, he's done not so badly over the business." I've changed it to "Crumley himself received a share of the fee as well as wages of £6 a week". I'm guessing the writer is close enough to the player (or his brother) for the £6 figure to be accurate, so it's probably safe to state it as a fact.
- Ta for clarifying.
- Info about his departure, anyway. The Dundee-based source says "The Welsh Club had a representative at the Dundee "A"-Hibs Eastern League game, and he was so well satisfied with the display of Bob Crumley's brother that he concluded the deal there and then. Jamie is getting £6 per week from Swansea, and, with his share of the tidy little transfer fee, he's done not so badly over the business." I've changed it to "Crumley himself received a share of the fee as well as wages of £6 a week". I'm guessing the writer is close enough to the player (or his brother) for the £6 figure to be accurate, so it's probably safe to state it as a fact.
- For Ref 34, is the publication's location Middlesbrough or Darlington?
- You tell me. This link might be accessible without subscription, but if it isn't... The credit line says "Northern Echo, The (Darlington, England) (Published as Northern Echo, The (Middlesborough, England))". I went with what it gave as the original publication place, give or take a spelling mistake.
- I see, makes sense to go with the original location.
- You tell me. This link might be accessible without subscription, but if it isn't... The credit line says "Northern Echo, The (Darlington, England) (Published as Northern Echo, The (Middlesborough, England))". I went with what it gave as the original publication place, give or take a spelling mistake.
Faultless prose on the whole, references are presented accordingly. I don't have access to the British Newspaper Archive, but the three Express ones that I do check out. No issues with dab or dead links. Shall pass once comments have been addressed. Lemonade51 (talk) 16:33, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you for doing the review. I'm actually quite glad it's taken so long for someone to pick it up, because my BNA subscription expired and has only recently been renewed. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 17:36, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
- Shall pass, nice work. Lemonade51 (talk) 20:16, 2 September 2015 (UTC)