Talk:Jackie Hudson/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TheSpecialUser (talk · contribs) 07:33, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Will do it shortly! TheSpecialUser ^TSU 07:33, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Review

• Please improve the caption of the Image.
  • I will try. There doesn't seem to be any information about the photo out there.
• Is it possible to add a infobox?
  • This isn't part of the GA criteria and I don't see the point of an infobox --Guerillero | My Talk 06:57, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
• Any possibilities on a template at the bottom of the page related to her or her work if possible?
  • Can't see any that would fit
• The image needs WP:ALT also
  •  Done
• O.P. doesn't need to be written in bold
  •  Done
• She spent the first 29 years of he working career as a music teacher - he? I think you mean "her"
  •  Done
• In 2011, after a decline in her health in prison, Hudson died from multiple myeloma. - please add her age at the end of this sentence like, Hudson died from multiple myeloma at the age of xx.
  •  Done
• Born Jacqueline Marie Hudson in Saginaw, Michigan[1], she was the youngest of two children.[2] -> Born as Jacqueline Marie Hudson in Saginaw, Michigan[1], she was the youngest of two children.[2]
  •  DoneThe wording sounds strange but I will go with it.
• At age 18, in 1952, she decided to join the Dominican Order -> At the age of 18, in 1952, she decided to join the Dominican Order.
  •  Done
• Roman Catholic junior high schools in Michigan - need comma after Michigan.
  •  Done
• She was a member of the Dominican Order for 58 years - I can get a flow which should be there in good prose. This doesn't fit with what was there in the previous sentence. Perhaps a re-phrase would do it like; She had been a member of Dominican Order for 58 years (till her death) - I don't know that was she a member of it till her death or not so I'm not quite sure but if she was then do include :)
  • I changed it to For 58 years, until her death, she was a member of the Dominican Order. She never quit being a nun.
• an Occupy Seattle protester, cited - remove the comma
  •  Done
• protesting even when things got hard - should this be under "" if these words were by her otherwise re-phrase is needed to something like, protesting even when things don't go well.
  • I added her direct quote
• because of what she found she subsequently focused her ministry on peace and protesting nuclear proliferation - need comma after "found"
  •  Done
• sneaking onto - please choose a different phrase or word. This doesn't sound like an encyclopedia to some extent.
  • Does illegally accessing sound better?
    • Yup. TheSpecialUser ^TSU 07:39, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
      • Yay --Guerillero | My Talk 07:51, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
• painting "Christ lives, Disarm" on the side - on the side of what? bunker? I need to be clarified as it is not that clear to me. If it is bunker, this should do the trick; "on the side of it."
  •  Done
• right thing and living out her faith because -> right thing and living out her faith, and stated that
  •  Done
• Sisters Carol Gilbert and Ardeth Platte - "Sisters" or "sisters"?
  •  Done
• snuck onto - ah..remove this and use some other phrase or word.
  • This one I will resist changing. The wording here sounds so much better than the alternatives. --Guerillero | My Talk 07:51, 24 August 2012 (UTC)
• held in a federal prison until the charges were dropped - why were the charges dropped?
  • The sources do not say, sorry. Found the official reason and Gilbert's reasoning.

Did I miss anything? --Guerillero | My Talk 07:58, 24 August 2012 (UTC)

TheSpecialUser ^TSU 21:53, 23 August 2012 (UTC)