Talk:Israel at the 2016 Summer Olympics/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kees08 (talk · contribs) 23:50, 26 December 2016 (UTC)Reply


Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
  1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.

Rewrite this sentence, probably break it up into multiple: Only five of them participated in their third straight Games as the most experienced of the team, including windsurfer and 2008 bronze medalist Shahar Tzuberi, butterfly and medley swimmer Gal Nevo, synchronized swimmer Anastasia Gloushkov, artistic gymnast Alexander Shatilov, and rhythmic gymnast Neta Rivkin, who was selected as the nation's flag bearer at the opening ceremony, the first by a female since 1996 and fourth overall in history.   Done - Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

Rewrite this: Israel returned home from Rio de Janeiro with two bronze medals, won by judoka Yarden Gerbi (women's 63 kg) and Or Sasson (men's +100 kg), marking a slight, but noteworthy improvement from the nation's out-of-medal feat at London 2012.   Done is it fine? Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

Rewrite this: Meanwhile, several Israeli athletes successfully advanced to the finals of their respective sporting events, but came closest to the medal haul, including the women's rhythmic gymnastics squad (captained by Alona Koshevatskiy) in the group all-around, triple jumper Hanna Knyazyeva-Minenko (previously represented her native Ukraine in London), and windsurfer Maayan Davidovich in the women's RS:X.[5]   Done is it fine?

From: Israel qualified one mountain biker for the men's Olympic cross-country race, as a result of his nation's twenty-second place finish in the UCI Olympic Ranking List of May 25, 2016.

To: Israel qualified one mountain biker for the men's Olympic cross-country race, as a result of his nation's twenty-second place finish in the UCI Olympic Ranking List on May 25, 2016.   Done -Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

Split this into multiple sentences: Six of them (three per gender), including 2015 European champion Sagi Muki and London 2012 Olympian Golan Pollack, were ranked among the top 22 eligible judokas for men and top 14 for women in the International Judo Federation (IJF) World Ranking List of May 30, 2016, while Shira Rishony at women's extra-lightweight (48 kg) earned a continental quota spot from the European region, as Israel's top-ranked judoka outside of direct qualifying position.   Done split into two sentences, hopefully its fine. Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

From: Israeli sailors qualified one boat in each of the following classes through the 2014 ISAF Sailing World Championships, the individual fleet Worlds, and European qualifying regattas.

To: Israeli sailors qualified one boat in each of the following classes through the 2014 ISAF Sailing World Championships: the individual fleet Worlds and European qualifying regattas.   Done -Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

  1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

For citations the tables, it looks like it started off putting the citation on the position/rank (probably should name them consistently). It changes to time/distance later. Probably should keep that consistent.   Done Nimrodbr (talk) 10:50, 6 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

2. Verifiable with no original research:
  2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
  2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).

I would add this http://www.newsweek.com/saudi-judo-competitor-forfeits-match-avoid-israeli-next-round-reports-488342 into the section on the Saudi judo competitor paragraph. Summarizes it nicely.   Not done WP:CITEKILL, stuff is already sourced well.

  2c. it contains no original research.
  2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
3. Broad in its coverage:
  3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.

You should add a background section, discussing Israel at previous Olympics briefly.   Done -Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC) Reply

I think if you add how many medals they have won total in previous Olympics, the background section will be complete. Kees08 (talk) 22:04, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply
  Done. Dat GuyTalkContribs 06:34, 9 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

Put information about the flagbearer somewhere else, not just the lead.


  3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

One Israeli shooter achieved quota places for the following events by virtue of their best finishes at the 2015 ISSF World Cup series, and European Championships or Games, as long as he obtained a minimum qualifying score (MQS) by March 31, 2016.

I assume he met the minimum qualifying score. What is the score, what did he get, and when and where did he get it?   Done Section reformatted -Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

I know it is not required to follow the exact same format as other articles, however, I think that other Olympic GA's are more in depth. See Chad at the 2016 Summer Olympics for an example. To be specific: You should go into detail of the events themselves. Right now there is just a table to look at; the event itself is not described at all.   Done Dat GuyTalkContribs 06:34, 9 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

I think this from the Reuters source "El Shehaby, 32, had reportedly been pressured by fans on social media not to show up for the match with his Israeli opponent, who went on to win bronze in the +100kg category, because it would shame Islam." and also perhaps a quote from Shehaby would fit good into the paragraph, shed more light into the situation and make it even more neutral.   Done -Dat GuyTalkContribs 08:44, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

Section that require further expansion before article is passed: badminton, cycling, gymnastics, judo, sailing, shooting, swimming, synchronized swimming, taekwondo, tennis, and triathlon. I will give the article seven more days from today to complete this requirement; if not I will fail the article. The article can then be properly expanded and resubmitted. Kees08 (talk) 00:59, 14 January 2017 (UTC)   Done Nimrodbr (talk) 23:03, 20 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

  4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
  5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
  6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
  6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

It is pretty obvious via the image (most of the time) what sport they competed in; however that would be difficult for visually impaired users. Either way, the captions should be more descriptive.

  7. Overall assessment.

@DatGuy: I have completed my assessment. If you disagree with any of the above, please let me know, I am very open to suggestions, and my word is of course not the final say. I would rather you discuss items you disagree with than be a 'yes man.' Let me know via here or IRC. Thanks! Kees08 (talk) 03:48, 27 December 2016 (UTC)Reply

@Kees08: Totally forgot I even nominated this. I'll work from bottom to the top. Also, first thing I notice is that the website does have an English option. On the top-left there is the flag of GB. Finally, I believe that NewsWeek is a tabloid/not known for fact-checking? Dat GuyTalkContribs 10:54, 27 December 2016 (UTC)Reply
Yes, I am in no rush. Kees08 (talk) 08:37, 2 January 2017 (UTC)Reply
@Kees08: Is there anything else in the article that needs attention or correction? Nimrodbr (talk) 10:39, 21 January 2017 (UTC)Reply
@Nimrodbr: Added cn tags. I'll do a ce on the article and verify the rest of the citations verify the information they are supposed to, and we'll be done. Kees08 (talk) 19:05, 21 January 2017 (UTC)Reply
Also need to move the citations from the intro paragraph to be in the article instead. Kees08 (talk) 19:09, 21 January 2017 (UTC)Reply
I think I finished. Nimrodbr (talk) 00:02, 22 January 2017 (UTC)Reply
All is good, the very last thing that needs done is the citations in the lead need to be moved to the article and removed from the lead. Kees08 (talk) 18:23, 22 January 2017 (UTC)Reply
Done. Nimrodbr (talk) 18:41, 22 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for all the hard work performed by everyone on this, what a big effort. The article grew by several times in both size and quality. Kees08 (talk) 19:20, 22 January 2017 (UTC)Reply