Talk:International Aviation Meet at Belmont Park/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 18:47, 26 February 2024 (UTC)

Happy to review this article for you. AM

Review comments

Lead section/infobox

• The lead needs to be expanded so that it is a better summary of the main text (see MOS:INTRO). Done
• Link aerial show (presumably Air show); altitude.  Done
• Link Belmont Park in the infobox caption.  Done
• The infobox and main text of the article says tournament, but the lead says aerial show. The main text also calls it a meet. I would be more consistent here. Done attempted to use standardize usage

Background

• Is the Aero Club Corporation the same as the Aero Club of America? If so, it can be linked.  Done
• The significance of the Wright Company may not be obvious to all readers, and so should be briefly explained. Done
• Why is "electric light" in quotes? (removed)  Done
• Link grandstand; Jacques Faure (Jacques Faure). linked grandstand, added link to Fr wiki, but not sure I did it right
• at Belmont Park is redundant text and can be removed. Done

History

• Link Alfred Leblanc; John Moisant altitude (as in the lead). Done
• the nine day (October 22–31, 1910) event – can be simplified to remove duplicate information, as the event clearly took place over 9 days.  Done
• Scientific American is linked, but not Statue of Liberty?  Done
• they sued the Aero Corporation over payments… this seems to be in the wrong part of the article, chronologically speaking. Did they sue the company before the races took place, as could to be implied here? moved the paragraph to hopefully the correct area  Done
• American aviator Harriet Quimby – as up to this point none of the other aviator's nationalities are mentioned, I am unclear why hers is here. Also, if she was already an aviator, why did she become interested in aviation during the event? clarified, she became interested and later became an aviator  Done
• It was there that she met John Moisant and his sister Matilde. Why is this notable? reworked the section
• John Moisant of Chicago – why of Chicago? (None of the other aviators’ home towns have been named up to this point.) removed  Done
• crashed twice at the show is redundant, as the test that follows makes this clear. hopefully clarified  Done
• and when he was helped – runs on from a statement. It should be included in a separate sentence. (See Sentence_clause_structure#Run-on_sentences.)  Done
• the $10,000 prize money - ‘the prize money’.  Done
• I would place the image on the right (see MOS:IMAGELOC). Done

Controversy

• There is no need for this separate section heading, particularly as there is text (The aviation committee met to discuss Grahame-White's protest.) that relates directly with text from the previous section. Done
• The first paragraph needs to be copy edited to remove duplicate information and improve the prose.  Done
• Link wing tip (Wing tip), note correct spelling. Done

Gallery

• As I assume the images in this section are all to be found in the Commons category, there is no need for the gallery. See MOS:IMAGES for further information about images and galleries, which discusses my point. removed Done

See also

• List of air shows – should be removed. It is a list of extant shows, and so does not relate to this article. Done
• The Wild Flower and the Rose (which should be in italics in the article, as it is a film) relates to the article, but isn’t mentioned anywhere in the text, and it needs to be. added italics to the see also. Unfortunately the Smithsonian link is dead and I cannot find RS to say that the parts of the movie were from the air show, so i thought best to leave it in See also

Unfortunately, if the connection cannot be verified, the film should not have a link in this article. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:08, 12 March 2024 (UTC)

The link to the Smithsonian page is here (archive url here). There is no mention of the film, though. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:23, 12 March 2024 (UTC)

Removed the See also section. Oddly enough The Wild Flower and the Rose is a GA. Most of the references are passing mentions or announcements related to the movie.

References

• Several of the links I checked did not load properly. You may need to check them to ensure you are confident that they are OK.some load slow, but they work for me
• What makes you think that Ref 7 (Tallman) is a reliable source? (WP:SELFPUB) removed

External links

• 1910 International Aviation Meet at Belmont Park in Elmont, NY links to a YouTube video. See WP:YTCOPYRIGHT for why this video should be used only if it clear that there is no copyright violation. removed

On hold

I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 14 March to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 09:54, 6 March 2024 (UTC)

Passing

Looks good,thanks for producing a fine article. Amitchell125 (talk) 21:04, 13 March 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.