Talk:Industry City/GA1
GA Review edit
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:37, 14 August 2019 (UTC)
I'll take a look. I will make straightforward changes as I go and jot queries below. Please revert if I accidentally change the meaning. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 20:37, 14 August 2019 (UTC)
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'The warehouses were built circa 1892–1910 - I'd write this prosier "The warehouses were built between 1892 and 1910" (or "from" "to" etc.)- Fixed.
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Since 2011, the complex has been undergoing renovations to modernize the historic infrastructure.- sounds a bit puffy.- I reworded the last part. Though the infrastructure is pretty old, this sounds like advertising. epicgenius (talk) 23:48, 14 August 2019 (UTC)
Also I'm confused - is the term "Industry City" used loosely to describe both it proper and the Bush Terminal?- Yes. The timeline is: Bush Terminal was created in 1892. It was rebranded as Industry City in the 1950s. Industry City is also the name of the private enterprise in the northern part of the complex. Bush Terminal is also the name of the public enterprise in the southern part. Also, part of the original Bush Terminal has been destroyed. epicgenius (talk) 23:48, 14 August 2019 (UTC)
The primary structure possessed a common court for the main structure with wings- avoid repeating words- Fixed.
Umm...how can a court have frontage of 460 feet yet measure only 210 by 55 feet....- It was the building's frontage.
Bush Terminal had grown to 35,000 workers by 1928- it didn't "grow to" but "employed"....- Fixed.
- The chronology jumps over the place a bit. You start off in the present, then a detailed segment from the 1920s....aaand then go back to the beginning. Try to trim the Bush terminal to strictly what is there now and place rest in chronological order. Or shift all history to top of article (?)
- @Casliber: Which section is this? If you're referring to the "Piers and storage", I'm referring to the possible discrepancy between different sources that cite a different number of warehouses. The section "Factory lofts" is similar but refers to the facility's maximum capacity at its peak in 1918.I put the general description first, then the history. It would also work the other way around, but is probably easier to understand this way. As I mentioned above, the names "Bush Terminal" and "Industry City" have both historically referred to the entire complex between 32nd and 50th streets. epicgenius (talk) 04:10, 15 August 2019 (UTC)
- Sunset Park began to suffer economic decline during the Great Depression with the demolition of the Fifth Avenue Elevated. - err, these are at different times..? (like a decade apart?)
- Fixed.
@Casliber: Thanks for taking this up. I replied to the points you made so far. epicgenius (talk) 23:48, 14 August 2019 (UTC)
- @Casliber: Are there any updates on this review? I understand if you're busy, though there hasn't been any edits to this review in a week. epicgenius (talk) 17:35, 21 August 2019 (UTC)
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality:
- Manual of Style compliance:
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources:
- Citations to reliable sources, where required:
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects:
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall: