Talk:Ice Princess (song)/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Calvin999 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 10:02, 4 August 2015 (UTC)Reply


Hi. I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this nomination.

Review
  • You use "song" six times in the first paragraph of the lead alone. You can use 'it', 'the track', or even 'Ice Princess' itself for the sake of variety.
  • Why is there a citation for the release date in the lead?
  • The song was released as the fourth single → It was released as the fourth single
  • with writing coming from → while it was written by
  • slow tempo → Not down tempo?
  • a booming, static bass. → This sounds like a quote?
Done: Removed, I can't find anything about it online, probably something I copied from a blog/social media post describing the song.
  • a sample → Link sample
  • the song hears → Wrong choice of word
  • as Banks "spitting knotty rhymes about her diamonds"[4] → There's no full stop here.
  • "Ice Princess" garnered praise from music critics. → Saying?
  • colorful, turning → colorful while turning
  • largely due to the song's video release. → Is this you assuming?
I'd personally say it was a reach to cite WP:OR, all's I did was add two and two together. Billboard even tweeted a separate chart, and the icon for the song is a snap of the music video, but if you do feel like it's OR and unacceptable for a GA, I can remove it.
It's just that it's something we can't truly source or know as the reason for being why it charted, unless there is a specific article. For instance, we know Madonna's "Bitch I'm Madonna" made an entry on the Hot 100 because of the video, it was reported.  — Calvin999 16:59, 5 August 2015 (UTC)Reply
Had a little troll around the internet and can't seem to find it, removed. Azealia911 talk
  • to a particular record label → Remove 'particular'
  • on her album, and a month later, she announced the title of the album → Repetition of 'album'
  • Approximately a year later, she handed a complete album in to the labels. Banks initially thought that the album would receive favorable reception from the labels; however, the representatives told Banks that she had not recorded a "hit" single for the album. → Which continues in this sentence, too.
  • Upon its release, → Remove, it wouldn't be before.
  • Music video section should just be one paragraph like the ones above.
  • Track listing is redundant because there's only one version. You would only use a section like this to show B-sides, remixes or alternative versions.
  • I'd rename Music video section as Promotion and include the one sentence about one live performance in with that section instead.
  • References wise: Pitchfork is Pitchfork Media; ref 10 says this but should be unlinked as it is the second mention; same for 14 and 15 as they are the second mentions too.

Thankyou for the review, I appreciate it, anything I've not replied to has been addressed. Azealia911 talk 16:57, 5 August 2015 (UTC)Reply

Outcome

On hold for 7 days.  — Calvin999 15:45, 5 August 2015 (UTC)Reply

Everything has been addressed. Passing  — Calvin999 17:05, 5 August 2015 (UTC)Reply