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"The Marriage of a Muslim Woman in this World and Hereafter"
By Ibn Hawwa (the Son of Eve)
Purpose
The purpose of writing this essay is to modestly clear a few misconceptions concerning the woman in Islam, especially those issues concerning marriage. Nevertheless, the ultimate purpose is to please God hoping his acceptance of such effort. Therefore anyone who can copy or distribute this article is more than welcome to do so. God says in the Qur’an:
“If you help Allah, He will help you” [Qur’an, Surah Muhammad (47):7]
In order to achieve this goal, a certain path should be followed. If the path chosen is straight, it will be easier and take less time to arrive at the desired objective since there would be no obstacle on the way. However, if the path chosen is crooked then it would be harder and take longer to arrive at the destination, or someone could get lost depending on the severity of its crookedness.
The following methodology will be used and every proof will be derived in the same sequence regarding their level of importance:
1. Qur’an 2. Hadith 3. Sahaba 4. Tab’een 5. Scholars
This is due to the fact that every Muslim is obligated to follow the evidences and leave aside the opinions of anyone, and I repeat of anyone, regardless of his high position in knowledge when the evidences speak against it. Aboo ‘Abdullah Ibn Jaweez Mindad al-Basree al-Malikee has stated, “The meaning of taqleed (blind following) in the Sharee’ah refers to one whose statement is not a proof. He is prohibited from that (statement) by the Sharee’ah and al-Ittiba’ is what is affirmed by evidence” And he also said in another place, “Everyone whose statement you follow without there being an evidence to obligate that for you, then you are his muqallid (blind follower). And taqleed (blind following) is not correct in the Religion of Allah. And everyone whose statement you are obligated to follow with evidence, then you are his muttabi’ (follower based upon evidence). And al-Ittiba’ (following of evidences) is correct in the religion, while taqleed (blind following) is prohibited.”1 I hope this clarifies to the reader that even if I make a mistake due to ignorance, wrong understand or logic, he or she must not repeat it, but on the contrary he or she must correct the understanding by the evidence presented to them. ‘Abaad Ibn ‘Abaad al-Khawwass has a marvelous advice concerning this, “Then you must take to having intelligence and understanding, for the intellect is a blessing, for some people who posses intellect have busied themselves by getting deeply absorbed in that which is detrimental to them, in terms of the benefit that they are really in need of. …… Doubt and suspect your opinion and the opinions of the people of your era, and be certain, verifying [a matter] before speaking [about it]. Seek knowledge before it is sought from you, for indeed a time will come in which Truth and falsehood resembles each other such that they will become confused [by others], and in which good is [called ] evil and evil is [called] good. …. [A certain group of people] had not feared losing their positions and corrupting their status, by establishing and clearly explaining the Book, they would have not twisted and concealed it. But when they contradicted the Book in their actions, they tried to deceive their people concerning what they were doing. They feared that their own position would be blackened and that their corruption would become clear to the people. So they twisted the explanations of the Book, and wherever they could not twist it, they concealed it.” 2
The Creation of Eve
Ibn Kathir relates the following:
“Ibn Abbas and a group of the companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) narrated that when Iblis (Satan) was sent out of Paradise and Adam was accommodated therein, Adam was alone in Paradise and did not have a partner from whom he could get tranquility. He slept for some time and when he woke up, he saw a woman whom Allah had created from his ribs. So he asked her, "Who are you? She replied, "A woman" He asked: "Why have you been created?" She said :"So that you could find tranquility in me." The angels, trying to find out the extent of his knowledge, asked him: "What is her name, O Adam?" He replied, "Eve". They asked: "Why was she so named?" He replied, " Because she was created from something living."” 3
"O Mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam) and from Him (Adam) He created his wife (Eve), and from them both He created many men and women.” [Qur’an, Surah an-Nisa’(4):1]
God also said:
"It is he Who has created you from a single person (Adam) and then He created from him his wife (Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." [ Qur’an, Surah Al-A’raf (7):189]
The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said in his last sermon:
“All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black nor a black has any superiority over a white - except by piety and good action….”4
It is very clear without any trace of ambiguity that God created only one Adam for Eve and only one Eve for Adam. Qur’an speaks in most of the cases by referring to the male figure, but in general sense it implies both the male and the female.
By the above mentioned verses of the Qur’an it can be easily derived that God has created one person as a mate of another. It is love, pleasure and tranquility within each other that the two mates are in need of. By contemplating on the evidence given above it can be deduced that a male is naturally inclined toward only one female and the female is naturally inclined toward only one male. If it were other than that, then God would have created many Adams for Eve or many Eves for Adam. To create one, two, three or even a thousand Adams for Eve or create one, two, three or even a thousand Eves for Adam would have been very easy for God. Instead God did not create anything like that.
"So set you your face towards the religion (worship none but Allah Alone) Allah's Fitrah (Allah's Islamic Monotheism), with which He has created mankind. No change let there be in khalqillah (the Religion of Allah), that is the straight religion, but most men know not."[Qur’an, Surah Ar-Rum(30):30]
It is reasonable enough to say that Adam and Eve were created in the Fitrah, which means pure natural inclinations. One of human natural inclinations is to have one mate and jealousy is another of the natural inclinations, both of which have the same root.5
Marriage of More Than One Wife of The Prophet
Some people wrongly have assumed that marrying more than one is part of the sunnah and should be followed no matter what. To attribute such claims we have to ask the Prophet (peace be upon him) himself what he (peace be upon him) has to say concerning such issue. Nevertheless before proceeding to that point, Imam Ibn al-Athir al_Jazaree (554-606 H) has said that the marriage of more than one wife of the prophet was to solve social problems of that time, when the social institutions were not stable enough to allow for other possibilities. This is in conformance with what God says:
And if you have reason to fear that you might not act equitably towards orphans, then marry from among [other] women such as are lawful to you - [even] two, or three, or four: but if you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then [only] one - or [from among] those whom you rightfully possess. This will make it more likely that you will not deviate from the right course. [Qur’an, Surah an-Nisa’ (4):3]
It is important to read the two last expressions of this verse, “then [only] one - or [from among] those whom you rightfully possess. This will make it more likely that you will not deviate from the right course.” It is very crucial to note that if the natural inclination were of more than one wife, why would God warn against deviating from the right course, or making injustice. Said ibn Jubayr, Qatadah, and other successors of the Companions, imply the following meaning to the verse, “Just as you are, rightly, fearful of offending against the interests of orphans, you must apply the same careful con¬sideration to the interests and rights of the women whom you intend to marry." 6
It will become clear to the reader than the above allowance of marrying more than one is a solution to social circumstances and not a unrestricted right given to the man over woman. If misused, then it will lead to injustice as implied in the verse above. 7
Let’s suppose on a first instance that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was encouraging the marriage to more than one wife by practicing it himself. Then what a better example could have he (peace be upon him) found than to implement this lifestyle to his daughter Fatima. She should be an example for all the women of Islam. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) does the following when Fatima encountered such an occasion:
Narrated Al-Miswar bin Makhrama: I heard Allah's Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, "Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me." 8
What he (peace be upon him) does is totally the opposite what one would expect from a man who is supposed to encourage something that he himself practices. The Prophet (peace be upon him) understood it very well the inclination towards one mate and the hurtful feeling that would cause sharing the beloved companion with another. Therefore Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gives two choices to Ali, either to remain married only to Fatima, or divorce her and marry the other woman. Ali chooses the first one.
It is important to notice that this nullifies the assumption that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was encouraging in any shape or form the practice of marrying more than one wife. Therefore reasons such as it is the unrestricted right of man or man is inclined towards having more than one wife is very far from the truth. It would imply that the Messenger of God, Muhammad (peace be upon him), had no knowledge of that. On the other hand a very plausible explanation is that only social hardships allow for such circumstances in the best interest of the women as made clear by Imam Ibn al-Athir al-Jazaree and even that with certain restrictions that will be mentioned as we continue establishing the truth with proofs.
The Contract of Marriage
In Islam marriage is a civil contract between the two parties, the husband and the wife. In this contract both parties must agree to the conditions being put in it. The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said: "From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled." 9
One of the conditions that can be put into the marriage contract is that the future wife requires from her future husband that he will not marry another woman while she is married to him. This condition is valid and does not contradict the verses of the Qur’an where God allows the man to marry more than one.10 The Qur’an lays out the maximum number of women that a man can be married at one time under the exception of fulfilling justice. Whether the man wants to get married or not, or get married to one or more, that is only up to the individual. Therefore a condition of marrying only one is within the bounds of what the Qur’an is allowing. Reading the Qur’an, the encouragement is towards marrying only one due to it being more just.
Moreover the validity of such condition has been agreed by ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, Sa’d bin Abee Wakas, Mu’aweeyah,‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, Shurayh al-Qaadi, al-Oozaa’I, Ishaaq, ‘Umar bin ‘Abdul-Aziz and Jabeer bin Zayd.11,12
Therefore if such condition is valid, it cannot be claimed that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was encouraging the practice of marrying more than one wife, but at the same time allowing conditions from the part of a woman restricting her husband to not marry another while she is married to him. The jealousy is not a characteristic pertinent only to the male figure, but also to the female since we explained earlier that the natural inclinations of both are towards having one mate, not shared with others. This condition accedes with the hadith of Fatima being hurt if Ali married another woman and the Prophet (peace be upon him) giving Ali the option of divorcing his daughter in order to marry another.
Divorce on Part of the Wife
God says:
A divorce may be [revoked] twice, whereupon the marriage must either be resumed in fairness or dissolved in a goodly manner. And it is not lawful for you to take back anything of what you have ever given to your wives unless both [partners] have cause to fear that they may not be able to keep within the bounds set by God: hence, if you have cause to fear that the two may not be able to keep within the bounds set by God, there shall be no sin upon either of them for what the wife may give up [to her husband] in order to free herself. These are the bounds set by God; do not, then, transgress them: for they who transgress the bounds set by God-it is they, they who are evildoers! [Qur’an, Surah Al-Baqarah (2):229]
All authorities concur that this verse gives an unconditional right to the woman to divorce her husband. This is reinforced by the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn `Abbas: The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un−Islamic manner (if I remain with him)." On that Allah's Apostle said (to her), "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophet said to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once." 13
In accordance with this tradition, when the wife divorces the husband without him committing an offence against his marital obligations, the wife has to return the dower she received for marriage in order to dissolve the marriage as related in the verse above mentioned. This kind of divorce strengthens the point that marrying more than one wife is to solve social problems and at the same time the wife has the unrestricted right to divorce the husband at any time she sees it fit. This position leaves no room for oppression or hardship on the wife emotionally and gives restrains to the husband in order to not allow for abuses or fear the consequences of his actions.
The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said:
“Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission” 4
The Meaning of “Hoor” (Virgin of Paradise)
In the Qur’an God says:
Thus shall it be. And We shall pair them with companions pure, most beautiful of eye.[Qur’an, Ad-Dukhan (44):54]
In the following verse, what is translated pair them up is the Arabic verb “zawaja”. So everyone will be paired up (married) with a companions pure, most beautiful of the eye, which in Arabic is “hoor a’een”.
In another verse He says:
….reclining on couches [of happiness] ranged in rows!” And [in that paradise] We shall mate them with companions pure, most beautiful of eye. , [Qur’an, At-Tur (52):20]
God also says:
[There the blest will live with their] companions pure and modest, in pavilions [splendid] [Qur’an, Al-Rahman (55):72]
And in another:
And [with them will be their] companions pure, most beautiful of eye[Qur’an, Al-Waqia (56):22]
The qualities of the “hoor” are described as follows:
[companions] whom neither man nor jinn [invisible being] will have touched before them. [Qur’an, Al-Rahman (55):74] According to the verse above, no human or jinn has touched the “hoor”. Therefore, a group of people coupled with other factors, which will be explained as we proceed, have thought that these beings are not of the offspring of Adam. What added to this was the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn `Abbas: The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell−fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you." 14 And in another version:
Narrated Abu Sa`id Al−Khudri On `Id ul Fitr or `Id ul Adha Allah's Apostle (peace be upun him) went out to the Musalla. After finishing the prayer, he delivered the sermon and ordered the people to give alms. He said, "O people! Give alms." Then he went towards the women and said. "O women! Give alms, for I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell−Fire were you (women)." The women asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the reason for it?" He replied, "O women! You curse frequently, and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you.15 O women, some of you can lead a cautious wise man astray. …16
Some scholars took this hadith combined with others that women will be the majority of people of hellfire and since most of the women are married (therefore touched by humans, not virgins) the “hoor” of paradise will be not the women of this world. Another hadith that strengthened the idea was the following:
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "The first batch (of people) who will enter Paradise will be (glittering) like the full moon, and the batch next to them will be (glittering) like the most brilliant star in the sky. Their hearts will be as if the heart of a single man, for they will have neither enmity nor jealousy amongst themselves; everyone will have two wives from the houris, (who will be so beautiful, pure and transparent that) the marrow of the bones of their legs will be seen through the bones and the flesh." 17 Since the hadith states that everyone will have two wives and since most of the women of this world are in hellfire according the previous hadith, then the people thought that the “hoories” must not be of the offspring of Adam, implying the women of this world, but of some other kind of creation.
Although the above mentioned idea appears plausible, there are a few missing details which, God Willing, will be expounded as follows: First, the hadith which claims that the majority of the people of Hell will be women, also gives the reason why they will be the majority, because they “are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you.” 14 and in another version with the addition “you can lead a cautious wise man astray”. 16
The hadith in plain words is saying that these are the reasons of why they will be the majority in hellfire. However God says in the Qur’an:
Verily, God does not forgive the ascribing of divinity to aught beside Him, although He forgives any lesser sin unto whomever He wills: for he who ascribes divinity to aught beside God has indeed contrived a tremendous sin. [Qur’an, Surah An-Nisa (4):48]
In the previous hadiths, the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not mention “Shirk” (worshipping idols, ascribing partners to God) as a reason for the majority of women being in hellfire. If he (peace be upon him) would have mentioned it as a reason, that would have implied that the women in Hellfire would dwell therein for eternity since the verse says that God never forgives a person who commits idolatry without repenting before his death, and other than that he forgives any other sin which aslo includes the sins mentioned by Prophet (peace be upon him). In another hadith it is given, that the only people that will remain in hellfire are those who committed idolatry (or major disbelief).
Narrated Anas: The Prophet said, "On the Day of Resurrection the Believers will assemble and say, 'Let us ask somebody to intercede for us with our Lord.' So they will go to Adam and say, 'You are the father of all the people, and Allah created you with His Own Hands, and ordered the angels to prostrate to you, and taught you the names of all things; so please intercede for us with your Lord, so that He may relieve us from this place of ours.' Adam will say, 'I am not fit for this (i.e. intercession for you).' Then Adam will remember his sin and feel ashamed thereof. He will say, 'Go to Noah, for he was the first Apostle (after Adam), Allah sent to the inhabitants of the earth.' They will go to him and Noah will say, 'I am not fit for this undertaking.' He will remember his appeal to his Lord to do what he had no knowledge of, then he will feel ashamed thereof and will say, 'Go to the Khalil−r−Rahman (i.e. Abraham).' They will go to him and he will say, 'I am not fit for this undertaking. Go to Moses, the slave to whom Allah spoke (directly) and gave him the Torah .' So they will go to him and he will say, 'I am not fit for this undertaking.' and he will mention (his) killing a person who was not a killer, and so he will feel ashamed thereof before his Lord, and he will say, 'Go to Jesus, Allah's Slave, His Apostle and Allah's Word and a Spirit coming from Him. Jesus will say, 'I am not fit for this undertaking, go to Muhammad the Slave of Allah whose past and future sins were forgiven by Allah.' So they will come to me and I will proceed till I will ask my Lord's Permission and I will be given permission. When I see my Lord, I will fall down in Prostration and He will let me remain in that state as long as He wishes and then I will be addressed.' (Muhammad!) Raise your head. Ask, and your request will be granted; say, and your saying will be listened to; intercede, and your intercession will be accepted.' I will raise my head and praise Allah with a saying (i.e. invocation) He will teach me, and then I will intercede. He will fix a limit for me (to intercede for) whom I will admit into Paradise. Then I will come back again to Allah, and when I see my Lord, the same thing will happen to me. And then I will intercede and Allah will fix a limit for me to intercede whom I will let into Paradise, then I will come back for the third time; and then I will come back for the fourth time, and will say, 'None remains in Hell but those whom the Qur'an has imprisoned (in Hell) and who have been destined to an eternal stay in Hell.' " (The compiler) Abu `Abdullah said: 'But those whom the Qur'an has imprisoned in Hell,' refers to the Statement of Allah: "They will dwell therein forever." (Qur’an, Surah An-Nahl (16):29) 18
Thus, those women mentioned as majority of the people of hellfire are not the majority that will remain therein forever as made clear in the previous hadith. Ibn Hajar al-'Asqalâni mentioned that the fact that women will be the majority of people of hell does not imply that they will be a minority in Paradise. 19
Another hadith to be noted is the following:
Muhammad (Ibn Sirin) reported that some (persons) stated with a sense of pride and some discussed whether there would be more men in Paradise or more women. It was upon this that Abu Huraira reported that Abu'l Qasim (the Holy Prophet) (may peace be upon him) said: The (members) of the first group to get into Paradise would have their faces as bright as full moon during the night, and the next to this group would have their faces as bright as the shining stars in the sky, and every person would have two wives and the marrow of their shanks would glimmer beneath the flesh and there would be none without a wife in Paradise. 20
Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani explained this hadith (which is also repeated in Sahih Bukhari) by saying that it pertains to the women of this life and that Abu Hurairah relied on this hadith to prove that the women, offspring of Adam, are more numerous than men in paradise. This hadith has been mentioned through various chain of narrations both in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim (which will be cited later).
Al-Qurtubi reconciled between the hadith of making the majority of the habitants of Hell and Paradise women by suggesting that the women that will form the majority in hell will be among the sinners that will stay there temporarily and will be brought out of Hell and enter Paradise. Thereafter the majority of the people of Paradise will be women. 21 This agrees with what has been explained previously that the women that will form the majority of Hell will not dwell therein forever since they will not enter therein due to committing disbelief or idolatry.
Imam an-Nawawi quotes the well-known scholar al-Qadi Iyad stating that the apparent meaning of a hadith indicates that women will be the majority of the people of Paradise and another hadith states that they will be the majority of the people of Fire. Al-Qadi stated that all this pertains to female children of Adam because one amongst the people of Paradise will have many “hoories” as wives.
Thus, stating that “hoories” are not offspring of Adam is a gross error invalidates the proof that Ibn Sirin used as evidence in the dispute between the women and the men. Keeping this in mind, let’s turn our attention to what God says in the Qur’an:
Verily, We have created them a special creation. And made them virgins. For those on the right.[Qur’an, Surah Al-Waqiah (56):35,36]
Ibn Kathir states that the commentary of the verse is that the women, after becoming old in this life, are brought back again in life in the hereafter being virgin, youthful, delightfully passionate with their husbands and very beautiful. 22
Abu ‘Ubayda said concerning this verse that it is referring to God’s statement:
And Hur (fair females) with wide lovely eyes. Like preserved pearls.[Qur’an, Surah Al-Waqia (56):22,23]
If you start reading Surah Al-Waqia, you will connect the two verses as claimed by Abu ‘Ubayda. Therefore Abu ‘Ubayda understood the word “hoor” as the female children of Adam recreated anew, made virgins after their old age in this life.
This is in agreement with the following verses:
And among His wonders is this: He creates for you mates out of your own kind. [Lit., “from among yourselves”] so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you: in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think! … And He it is who creates [all life] in the first instance, and then brings it forth anew: and most easy is this for Him, since His is the essence of all that is most sublime in the heavens and on earth, and He alone is almighty, truly wise. [Qur’an, Surah Ar-Rum(30):21…27]
Al-Hasan Al-Basri understood the word “hoor” found in the Qur’an and many hadiths as implying “the righteous among the women of human kind” as quated by Tabari. 23 The word “hoor” implies “[even] those toothless old women of yours whom God will resurrect as new beings”. 24
Therefore being resurrected as new beings, asserts being resurrected anew, virgin, pure. And this state of purity is such a high grandeur that no one before has touched or perceived even with their mind, let alone physically. This is the meaning of the following verse: [companions] whom neither man nor jinn [invisible being] will have touched before them. [Qur’an, Al-Rahman (55):74] which agrees with the following hadith:
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "Allah said, 'I have prepared for my pious worshipers such things as no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard of, and nobody has ever thought of." Abu Huraira added: If you wish you can read: 'No soul knows what is kept hidden (in reserve) for them of joy as reward for what they used to do.' 32
Thus the verse above does not imply different women as opposed to the women of this world, but instead implies the new created women of the offspring of Adam created virgins and in a such manner than no one has ever imagined and no one has touched them in their recreated form.
Now let’s read the hadiths that mentions such women and try to understand them as they should be understood, shattering any doubts that might be created by the not careful reader.
In Sahih Bukhari, the following hadiths are related:
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The first group (of people) who will enter Paradise will be (glittering) like the moon when it is full. They will not spit or blow their noses or relieve nature. Their utensils will be of gold and their combs of gold and silver; in their centers the aloe wood will be used, and their sweat will smell like musk. Everyone of them will have two wive(zawjatani – dual form); the marrow of the bones of the wives' legs will be seen through the flesh out of excessive beauty. They ( i.e. the people of Paradise) will neither have differences nor hatred amongst themselves; their hearts will be as if one heart and they will be glorifying Allah in the morning and in the evening." 26
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The first batch (of people) who will enter Paradise will be (glittering) like a full moon; and those who will enter next will be (glittering) like the brightest star. Their hearts will be as if the heart of a single man, for they will have no enmity amongst themselves, and everyone of them shall have two wives (zawjatani – dual form), each of whom will be so beautiful, pure and transparent that the marrow of the bones of their legs will be seen through the flesh. They will be glorifying Allah in the morning and evening, and will never fall ill, and they will neither blow their noses, nor spit. Their utensils will be of gold and silver, and their combs will be of gold, and the fuel used in their centers will be the aloes-wood, and their sweat will smell like musk." 27
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "The first batch (of people) who will enter Paradise will be (glittering) like the full moon, and the batch next to them will be (glittering) like the most brilliant star in the sky. Their hearts will be as if the heart of a single man, for they will have neither enmity nor jealousy amongst themselves; everyone will have two wives (zawjatani – dual form) from the houris, (who will be so beautiful, pure and transparent that) the marrow of the bones of their legs will be seen through the bones and the flesh." 28
And in Sahih Muslim, the same hadith is related as following:
Muhammad reported that some (persons) stated with a sense of pride and some discussed whether there would be more men in Paradise or more women. It was upon this that Abu Huraira reported that Abu'l Qasim (the Holy Prophet) (may peace be upon him) said: The (members) of the first group to get into Paradise would have their faces as bright as full moon during the night, and the next to this group would have their faces as bright as the shining stars in the sky, and every person would have two wives (zawjatani – dual form) and the marrow of their shanks would glimmer beneath the flesh and there would be none without a wife in Paradise. 20
A careful reader can see it clearly that the same hadith is used for the wives and wives among hoors. This is due to the fact that there is no difference between the two, that is why Ibn Sirin used it as evidence in the dispute of whether there were more women or men in paradise among the children of Adam and Eve.
Another very interesting connotation is the usage of the dual form of “two wives” which can imply two cases:
1. restricted number of two
2. two different (but yet similar) to be called by one name
The second case is found in the Qur’an when God says:
And He it is who has given freedom of movement to the two great bodies of water- (Lit., two seas - bahrayn (dual form of bahr) –the one sweet and thirst-allaying, and the other salty and bitter - and yet has wrought between them a barrier and a forbidding ban. [Qur’an, Surah Al-Furqan(25):53]
Bahr means sea, bahrayn means two seas referring to the river, which is potable and to the seas, which is briny. Other examples of this usage are the “"the two Umars", referring to Abu Bakr and Umar; "the two moons", referring to the sun and moon; "the shining two", making the same reference although the moon does not shine of itself and only reflects the light of the sun; "the two ‘ishas", referring to maghreb and ‘isha, and "the two zhuhrs", referring to zhuhr and ‘asr, "the two fathers", although they are a father and a mother.”
In the above mentioned hadith we have the dual form “two wives”, but why “two” and neither three or one, if we take the meaning of a restricted number “two”? What happens if one is married to more or less than “two” wives in this world. Is one going to marry or divorce if we take the restricted meaning “two” (neither less or more)? This definition has no basis logically! Therefore the dual form “two wives” should be understood of the later type in meaning implying “himself as husband (zawj) and his wife (zawjah) – married” and this according to the dual case extension becomes “two wives – zawjatan” choosing the female gender to make the dual form, and not intending the limiting number “two”.
In this way everything comes in harmony with respect to how many wives one will have in the hereafter. If one has one wife, he will have that wife recreated anew and made into a “hoor”, virgin of paradise, and so on.
The desires of the people of Paradise are the same as the desires they have in this world. Therefore arguing that somehow the desires of the women will be changed to fit “the inclinations of a man to have more wives” is baseless to say the least. 31 First of all if someone was not married to more than one wife in this world, why would he want to be married to more than one in the hereafter [as we showed earlier that proofs show totally the opposite (i.e. inclinations towards only one married companion)]. The proof for the desires being the same is the following hadith:
Narrated Abu Huraira: Once the Prophet was preaching while a bedouin was sitting there. The Prophet said, "A man from among the people of Paradise will request Allah to allow him to cultivate the land Allah will say to him, 'Haven't you got whatever you desire?' He will reply, 'yes, but I like to cultivate the land (Allah will permit him and) he will sow the seeds, and within seconds the plants will grow and ripen and (the yield) will be harvested and piled in heaps like mountains. On that Allah will say (to him), "Take, here you are, O son of Adam, for nothing satisfies you.' "On that the bedouin said, "O Allah's Apostle! Such man must be either from Quraish or from Ansar, for they are farmers while we are not."On that Allah's Apostle smiled . 30
And in this hadith, we see two coherent points:
1.Paradise is according to the desires of the servant and not someone’s else. 2.The habitant of the paradise will still have the desires of this world. 31
Conclusion
In this essay has been carefully examined the marriage of a Muslim woman in this world and hereafter. After examining the evidences, it should become clear to the person who possess intellect that marriage is something which both parties agree to, according to their free will. And as any agreement, this must exist on mutual understanding that is empowered by the conditions put forth in the marriage contract. The natural inclinations of a man and a woman are towards one mate. This is due to the fact of the existence of jealousy in both genders. The Prophet’s (peace be upon him) marriages of more than one were due to social constraints in most cases helping the widows when the social institutions were unstable. At the same time, he (peace be upon him) did not encourage marriage to more than one wife and this is explicitly obvious regarding what he said to Ali. Had it been otherwise the prophet would have been the first to support it. The “hoors” of paradise, or the virgins of paradise, that many ignorant people make claims about, are just the recreated women of this earth. It has been showed step by step why some scholars erred into thinking that they are different creatures, not the children of Adam and Eve. The evidence presented above clears the misconception about this word. To sum it up, Islam does not suppress women and how could it be so when God says:
These are the Verses of Allah: We recite them to you (O Muhammad) in truth, and Allah wills no injustice to the Alameen (mankind and jinns). [Qur’an Surah Aal-e-Imran (3):108]
And in another verse:
Have you not seen those who claim sanctity for themselves. Nay - but Allah sanctifies whom He pleases, and they will not be dealt with injustice even equal to the extent of a Fatila (A scalish thread in the long slit of a date-stone). [Qur’an, Surah An-Nisa (4):49]
He also says:
And whoever does righteous good deeds, male or female, and is a true believer in the Oneness of Allah (Muslim), such will enter Paradise and not the least injustice, even to the size of a Naqeera (speck on the back of a date-stone), will be done to them. [Qur’an, Surah An-Nisa(4):124]
All praise is to God and I will conclude with the following:
…Limitless are You in Your glory! No knowledge have we save that which You have imparted unto us. Verily, You alone are All-Knowing, truly Wise.[Qur’an, Surah Al-Baqarah(2):32]
Note: Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim are the most reliable sources in hadith, imam Bukhari being the leader in hadith. Other sources do not reach the level of Sahih Bukhari and Muslim, that’s why I have not included since to bring in hadiths from other sources you need to know the level of hadiths and so on. Some people mistakenly quote hadith from at-Tirmidhi, Abo-Dawood, Ahmad and so on…without realizing that these collections are not sahih (correct) in their entirety (i.e. contain weak, unreliable hadiths) and need a more throughout study. For the purpose of this essay, hadiths from Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim will be enough, God Willing.
1. Jaami’ Bayaanil-‘Ilm of Ibn ‘Abdul-Barr (2/117) and al-I’laamul-Muwaqqi’een of Ibn ul-Qayyim (3/299) Aboo Dawood related in his Masaa’il (p.367-369) “…He said: I said to Ahmed (imam Ahmed), “Does al-Awazaa’e not have more of a right to be followed than Malik?” He said, ‘Do not blindly follow anyone amongst these people with regards to your Religion. Whatsoever has come from the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, then take it. Then, a man has a choice after the tabi’een.”
2. ad-Darimee (1/160-163), Hilyal al-Awliyaa (8/282), Tahdheeb al-Kamal (14/135-136) Ibn Qayyim al-Jawzeeyah said in I’laam al-Muwaqqi’een (1/10), “…when you have striven to find a ruling and then another ruling comes to mind, then you should not let the first ruling you made prevent you from re-examining it. This is due to the fact that the ruling you arrive at may change, and so the first ruling should not prevent you from implementing the second, once it has become apparent to you that this second ruling is the Truth. … to return to the Truth is better and more appropriate than persisting in the first ruling [which was wrong].”
3. Stories of the Prophet by Ibn Kathir
4. This sermon was delivered on the Ninth Day of Dhul-Hijjah 10 A.H. in the 'Uranah valley of Mount Arafat' in Mecca
5. Some people say that the natural inclinations is to have more than one mate. They either claim that only for the male or only for the female, or in some cases for both. This opinion has no basis and it collides head to head with the evidence mentioned from the Qur’an and with common sense logic.
6. Related by Tabari in his tafsir
7. Some people think that they have an unrestricted right to marry how many wives they want just because they are man. By doing so they abuse with the rights of the women, by concealing them the rights they have either through lack of education or lack of good reason to marry more than one. It will become clear this is not the intended purpose of the verse and the practice of the prophet.
8. Sahih Bukhari (the most authentic book after the Qur’an),Book. 62 “Wedlock, Marriage (Nikaah)”, Hadith 7.157
9. Sahih Bukhari, Book 50 “Conditions”, Hadith 3.882
10. Some people have said that these conditions are not valid. They are not correct in this saying because they would go against the consensus of the Sahaba and Tab’een as will be explained next [see next two notes].
11. Al-Fataawa al-Kubra of Ibn Taymiyah, part 3, Kitaab al-Nikaah: “… these conditions and similar ones are valid according to the madhhab of Imaam Ahmad and other scholars among the Sahaabah and Taabi’een, such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, Shurayh al-Qaadi, al-Oozaa’i and Ishaaq. According to the madhhab of Maalik, the condition states that if he marries another wife, (the first wife) has the choice of what to do, and this is a valid condition. The woman has the right to leave him in this case. This is similar to the idea in the Madhhab of Imaam Ahmad. The basis for this is the hadeeth narrated by (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) in al-Saheehayn from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes permissible for you.’ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: ‘Rights are in accordance with conditions.’ The Prophet dictated that the conditions which make sexual intercourse permissible are more deserving of fulfilment than others. This is the ruling on conditions of this nature.”
12. al-Mughni of Ibn Qudamah Vol. 9, Page 483: “(A condition) that which must be fulfill. It is a condition wherein its benefit and worth are returned. Examples are stipulations wherein he (vows) not to remove her from her residence or land, or that he will not travel with her (to foreign lands), or that he will not take another wife while with her. All of these are conditions that he would be bound to fulfilling (if he agreed to them before cohabitation). If he does not honour the stipulations she is granted the ability (and right) to annul the marriage (at her will). This is reported as being the opinion of: Umar bin al-Khattab, Sa‘d bin Abi Waqas, Mu‘awiyah, ‘Amr bin al- ‘Aas (radia Allahu ‘Anhom). It was also stated by: Shurayh, ‘Umar bin ‘Abdul-Aziz, Jabir bin Zayd, Tawus, Al-Awza‘i and Ishaq…….As well we have named many Sahaba who validated these stipulations, and none from their generation / peers refuted them. Therefore we establish this as being Ijma‘ (consensual agreement by them all).”
13. Sahih Bukhari, Book 63 “Divorce”, Hadith 7.197 . Similar hadith relating the same story are found in the same book of Sahih Bukhari with the following numbers 7.198,7.199,7.200
14. Sahih Bukhari. Book 2 “Belief”, Hadith 1.28
15. Here, it is implied only for the women that the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw in hellfire, and not every woman, for we know very well the story of Mary (peace be upo her) in the Qur’an, the wife of Pharaoh in the Qur’an. And as for intelligence and knowledge, we know very well the hadiths related by Aisha and other female companions, without whom we would miss an indispensable amount of knowledge that we have in our faith.
16. Sahih Bukhari, Book 24 “Obligatory Charity Tax (Zakat)”, Hadith 2.541
17. Sahih Bukhari, Book 54 “Beginning of Creation”, Hadith 4.476
18. Sahih Bukhari, Book 60 “Prophetic Commentary on the Qur'an [Tafseer of the Prophet (peace be upon him)]”, Hadith 6.3
19. Fath al-Bâri 6/325
20. Sahih Muslim, Book 40 “Pertaining to Paradise, Its Description”, Hadith 6793
21. at-Tadhkirah, al-Qurtubî, p. 475
22. Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Surah Al-Waqia (56), verse 35
23. Tafsir Muhammad Asad, Message of Qur’an, Surah Al-Waqia (56):22
24. Al-Hasan, as quoted by Razi in his commentary on “Thus shall it be. And We shall pair them with companions pure, most beautiful of eye.”[Qur’an, Ad-Dukhan (44):54]
25. Sahih Bukhari, Book 60 “Prophetic Commentary on the Qur'an [Tafseer of the Prophet (peace be upon him)], hadith 6.302. Also refer to hadith nr. 6.303, 6.304
26. Sahih Bukhari, Book 54 “Beginning of Creation”, hadith Hadith nr 4.468
27. Sahih Bukhari, Book 54 “Beginning of Creation”, hadith Hadith nr 4.469
28. Sahih Bukhari, Book 54 “Beginning of Creation”, hadith Hadith nr 4.476
29. Muhammad Salim al-Awwa, Ph.D: “….in the dual case and it follows the habit of calling two objects or two persons after the more familiar or after either of them, giving it prominence. There are many examples of this in idiomatic Arabic usage, such as "the two Umars", referring to Abu Bakr and Umar; "the two moons", referring to the sun and moon; "the shining two", making the same reference although the moon does not shine of itself and only reflects the light of the sun; "the two ‘ishas", referring to maghreb and ‘isha, and "the two zhuhrs", referring to zhuhr and ‘asr. Arabs usually choose the more prominent of the two or the easier in giving a dual form, and that is why they say for parents, "the two fathers", although they are a father and a mother. Sometimes they choose the easier to pronounce as in their saying, "the two Umars" or the greater in status, such as in God’s saying, "Nor are the two seas alike, the one being potable and pleasant to drink, and the other salty and briny". The first of these "two seas" is a river and the second, an actual sea. Sometimes the word with the female gender is chosen to make the dual form, such as in the expression "the two Marwas", referring to the two hills of As-Safa and Al-Marwa in Mecca. This usage in the Arabic language is familiar to Arabic linguists. (One famous reference book available to students and dealing with this point is Abbas Hassan’s An-nahw al-wafi, I, 118–19).”
30. Sahih Bukhari, Book 93, “Oneness, Uniqueness of Allah (Tawheed)” Hadith 9.610
31. I have heard too many times people say that women don’t have to worry that they will have to share their husbands with presumed creatures, as they define it hoor – not of offspring of Adam – (which shown previously has no solid evidence to support such view or I haven’t found any yet), because their jealousy will be taken from them. If this is true, then everyone’s jealousy will be taken away, even that of the male. So if the woman has “desire” to have more than one husband in the hereafter (the same what some males claim for themselves) then the male will not have to worry about that because his jealousy will be taken away. Nevertheless, I have not yet met a person admit that. This is due to their arrogance and illogical statements. First of all as showed by the hadith of the farmer wanting to cultivate the land in the paradise, the desires will be the same and not “fitted” as some people claim. But first we have to classify the desires because there are two kind of desires:
1. Natural desires 2. Not natural (vain) desires
Natural desires are mentioned:
[But,] behold, as for those for whom [the decree of] ultimate good has already gone forth from Us [i.e., those who have been promised paradise on account of their faith and their good deeds.] these will be kept far away from that [hell]:no sound thereof will they hear; and they will abide in all that their souls have ever desired. [Qur’an, Surah Al-Anbiya(21):101,102]
The vain desires are mentioned in the following verse:
And shall lead them astray, and fill them with vain desires; and I shall command them - and they will cut off the ears of cattle [in idolatrous sacrifice]; and I shall command them - and they will corrupt God's creation!" But all who take Satan rather than God for their master do indeed, most clearly, lose all. [Qur’an, Surah An-Nisa(4):119]
And in other God says:
O you who have attained to faith! Be ever steadfast in upholding equity, bearing witness to the truth for the sake of God, even though it be against your own selves or your parents and kinsfolk. Whether the person concerned be rich or poor, God's claim takes precedence over [the claims of] either of them. Do not, then, follow your own desires, lest you swerve from justice: for if you distort [the truth], behold, God is indeed aware of all that you do! [Qur’an, Surah An-Nisa(4):135]
Therefore only the God approved desires, the natural desires will make it to paradise, even if these desires were of this world (such as desiring to cultivate the land). And the desires that God abominates will be cleansed from the soul of the habitants of Paradise. Some people fail to realize this categorization and create bad analogies to support their illogical views. It has been proved that the natural desire of both a man and a woman is to have one mate. Nevertheless, the narrations are superior to whatever analogy one might bring.
32. Sahih Muslim Book 40 “Pertaining to Paradise, Its Description”, Hadith 6782. Also refer to Sahih Muslim,(same book) Hadith 6780, Sahih Bukhari Book 60 “Prophetic Commentary on the Qur'an [Tafseer of the Prophet (peace be upon him)]”, Hadith 6.302, 6.303