Talk:History of FC Barcelona/GA1

Latest comment: 13 years ago by Mr.Kennedy1 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Mr.Kennedy1 talk guestbook 15:22, 1 October 2010 (UTC)Reply

Hi, I will be reviewing this article in the near future. Mr.Kennedy1 talk guestbook 15:22, 1 October 2010 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
    There seems to be alot of words and phrases that should be avoided according to WP:WTW like "has not dampened...", "consisted of the best teams...", "club's fortunes began to improve on the field.", etc.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
    The Laporta years (2000–2010) – 3rd paragraph from bottom has no citations for the last six lines.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

I am going to ask for a second oponion on this as I am not an experienced reviewer and do think that this article does not deserve to be failed without someone elses view because it is certaintly good in alot of aspects. Mr.Kennedy1 talk guestbook 18:07, 1 October 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • Three references added. Thank you for taking the time for doing this review. Sandman888 (talk) 15:57, 2 October 2010 (UTC)Reply
Some independent comments
  • "Gamper was subsequently club president on five separate occasions between 1908 and 1925, for a total of 25 years." This doesn't make sense, how can he be president for a total of 25 years, when there are only 17 years between 1908 and 1925?
  • "Gamper simultaneously launched a campaign to recruit more club members, and, by 1922, the club had more than 20,000 members, who helped finance a new stadium." Members is used twice in the same sentence.
  • "The tour led to the financial security of the club, but also resulted in half of the team seeking asylum in Mexico and France, making it harder for the remaining team to fight for trophies." "Fight for" trophies seems to be an inappropriate verb when you are talking against the back-drop of the Civil War. "Contest" would be much better.
  • "Despite the difficult political situation, CF Barcelona enjoyed considerable success during the 1940s and 1950s. In 1945, with Josep Samitier as coach and players like César, Ramallets and Velasco, they won La Liga for the first time since 1929. They added two more titles in 1948 and 1949. In 1949, they also won the first Copa Latina. In June 1950, Barcelona signed Ladislao Kubala, who was to be an influential figure at the club." Unreferenced.
  • "and two influential Hungarians recommended by Kubala," influential is probably WP:PEACOCK.
  • "The 1973–74 season saw the arrival of a new Barça legend Johan Cruyff," legend is WP:PEACOCK.
  • "with stellar displays by German midfielder Bernd Schuster." Stellar is WP:POV.
  • "while signing international stars" Another WP:WEASAL/WP:PEACOCK term.
  • "The departures of Núñez and van Gaal were as nothing compared to that of Luís Figo," doesn't make sense, needs rewording. Also it's WP:POV and needs a reference.
  • "former Dutch and Milan star Frank Rijkaard," More WP:PEACOCK.
  • "In 1988, Johan Cruyff returned to the club as manager and he assembled the so-called Dream Team." Needs a reference, particularly for "so-called Dream Team".
  • What are the point of the three different Champions League line-up pictures? You can click on the link for the line-ups. Different images would improve the article more than these line-ups would.
  • Lots of over-linkage, particularly La Liga and players'/club officials' names.
  • The article seems to suffer from WP:RECENTISM and is biased towards recent events. Particularly the listing of players' names and the details of individual matches.

On the whole, this is close to a pass. The main work is to get rid of the WP:PEACOCK terms, add more references or lose the WP:POV and remove the overlinking. Brad78 (talk) 11:17, 4 October 2010 (UTC)Reply

  • Try looking it over now. I have addressed all of the concerns apart from the last point. Sandman888 (talk) 12:29, 5 October 2010 (UTC)Reply
Sorry for the late reply, and thanks to Brad78 for the comments. I have a few more before I pass this though:
  • "Barça", "FC Bacelona" and "Barcelona" is used alot, could these be changed to one name. I wouldn't use "Barça" as this wouldn't be familiar with alot of people.
  • In 'Rivera, Republic and Civil War (1923–1957)', why is "CF Barcelona" used and then in the next paragraph, "FC Barcelona" is used. Is this correct? If so, you should explain what happened to the name.
  • Also in 'Rivera, Republic and Civil War (1923–1957)', "Real Madrid dominated the match, thrashing Barça 11–1.". "Dominated" and "thrashing" is WP:PEACOCK.
Fix these and I will pass the article. I will change the status to 'On hold'. Mr.Kennedy1 talk 17:58, 7 October 2010 (UTC)Reply
  • Cheers, got em. Thanks again for the review. Sandman888 (talk) 10:30, 8 October 2010 (UTC)Reply
OK, i'm going to pass this; I have changed the criteria above. Well Done! Mr.Kennedy1 talk 14:36, 8 October 2010 (UTC)Reply